That was three days ago now, and I can’t stop thinking about him; can’t help but miss him despite not even knowing his name. It’s the only way to describe this feeling, anyway, missing my mystery man. Maybe it’s because I’m so naive and inexperienced, or maybe it’s because I was with a man for six years who never made me feel any of the things my broody hero did after a few short hours. Maybe I’m just so deprived of any kind of human relationship that my stupid, clingy self was all too eager to latch onto the first person to give me the time of day.
It’s not, though.
I may be all of those things but something in my gut is telling me that man was more than my one-time hero, that he was special, and I’ll see him again despite how unlikely that seems.
Things like that don’t happen to me.
“Right, Fabio?” I sigh as I run my hand over the soft feathers of my African grey. “Things like that don’t happen to me.”
“Pretty boy,” he squawks then bobs his head.
I giggle a little because Fabio says that all the time, but it’s kind of perfect considering the way I’m pining over a man I don’t know.
My mystery man was beyond pretty.
And Fabio scared the shit out of him.
When he carried me into my apartment, Fabio screeched,honey, I’m home!like always and my mystery man almost dropped me and pulled a gun out of his pants.
Surprisingly, it didn’t scare me to learn my hero was armed, nor did it freak me out when he managed to pinpoint Fabio without turning on any lights. I kind of liked how ready he was to protect me from whatever was looming in the dark, but I quickly explained my parrot so he didn’t shoot Fabio or anything else.
“Should we go for a walk?” I ask as he shuffles up my arm and uses his beak to fix my glasses that are forever sliding down my nose. “Take a little stroll through our new neighborhood?”
“Walkies,” he squawks. “Fabio walkies. Fly high. Pretty boy.”
Giggling a little harder, I kiss his head when he leans toward my mouth. “Ok. We’ll go for walkies so you can fly high.” There should be enough light from the streetlamps for me to see him while he does and my bird is spoiled rotten, so we’d go for walkies anyway.
I’ve had Fabio since my mom left when I was sixteen.
I came home from school to find a note on the counter and all of her shit gone, my mother making it clear with her words and actions that I was a burden and worthless, a metaphorical thorn in her side and she felt it was time for me to be on my own. I managed to go the rest of tenth grade without anyone realizing I was alone at my house, but when I started junior year, things blew up a little.
There was paperwork that needed to be signed and after multiple lies and attempts to put it off, the school sent someone out to my house to find out what was going on and that’s when CPS got involved. Instead of putting me in foster care, I begged my social worker to help me get emancipated since I was so close to being considered a legal adult anyway, and thank God she did. She even made sure I could stay at my house until I turned eighteen despite the fact that it was in my grandma’s name and I wasn’t anywhere on the deed or in her will.
I was lonely though.
Didn’t have many friends, none that I hung out with outside of school, and even though our relationship was horrible at best, the void my mother’s abandonment created took my loneliness to a whole new level and that’s when I found Fabio.
I went to the local pet store thinking I’d get a dog or something but when I saw my pretty boy impersonating the puppies, it was love at first sight.
He was only two years old and had been returned to the pet store several times before I adopted him, but I knew he was mine and Fabio knew I was his. Now, eleven years later, my African gray is spoiled rotten, has a vocabulary that rivals most humans and he’s the sweetest thing ever with an almost empathic quality to his very unique personality.
Fabio is trained and obedient enough to free fly throughout the house as well as short distances when we go for walkies. My extra bedroom is basically his bedroom with all kinds of things for him to climb, perch, or chew on. Lots of plants he can eat. I even have a small home aviary on the balcony in the spare bedroom and off the living room for him because he’s that spoiled. It’s good for him though, the fresh air, sunshine and extra space. It’s what he needs to stay healthy, and I don’t mind it either.
We have a good thing going, Fabio and I. Something Tony never understood and would constantly complain about.
Ugh.
Stupid Tony.
He has been blowing me up since Thursday, sending a million text messages begging me to talk to him. I thought I’d be a lot more upset over ending our six-year relationship but honestly, I just feel relieved, which proves we’ve been unhappy and over a lot longer than I was willing to admit.
It may have happened in the shittiest way possible but breaking up with Tony has made me happier than I’ve been in a long time.
No more fighting, no more radio silence. No more worrying about why Tony isn’t returning my calls, wondering what he’s doing, if I’m still what he wants. No more trying to make a long-distance relationship work in hopes that one day it’ll turn into more or forcing something that hasn’t been there in years. And definitely no more feeling bad about myself because I’m nerdy and awkward, don’t look like a supermodel, and work from home with my sweet, loving parrot.
The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’ve come to the conclusion I fell out of love with Tony when he blew off our anniversary two years ago and disappeared for almost a week. I still don’t know what happened, but I can do the math. Tony probably hasn’t been faithful since he made partner three years ago, so most of his self-induced distance can be attributed to that.
Which reminds me... better make a doctor appointment to make sure I’m not infested with his infidelity. I was clean at my last appointment before I moved, but Tony and I had sex a couple months ago and I’d rather not risk it.
