Page 119 of His Atonement
So many pipe dreams.
Good thing I like smoking.
The Maker, The Destroyer, and Me
"Ok. Hold on a second.” Cora lifts her hands, presses her fingers to her temples and rubs. "Start again and leave nothing out."
I sigh, take a big drink from my coffee mug, and thank the universe I am demon, therefore I sober up relatively quickly once I stop drinking. "He who shall not be namedhas been visiting me the entire time I've been here."
"Because he's pissed I was able to take your name from you after you failed to kill me."
I nod. "He has been trying to get me to be a horrible prick so that you will return my name and banish me from this place in order for him to punish me in accordance with demon law for my fuck up."
"Something you have been unable to do because my angel loves you despite the fact that you're a dickhead most of the time.” Havok smirks. "And because you genuinely love her and can't be that big of a jerk to her."
“Right," I deadpan. "This has infuriated him and he has increased his visitation because of it, however, during one of the more recent trips to this plane, the bastard offered me a deal I had no choice but to accept."
"What kind of deal?" Colt asks from across the cave because yes, Havok decided it was a good idea to drag the wolf along.
"As you know, during my year with Tolan and Ellida one of the most rare and unheard of miracles occurred—"
"You grew a soul.” Cora smiles. "Grew a soul cause I was the cutest fucking baby you'd ever seen."
I roll my eyes, but nod. "Yes. My soul was born around the same time you were, my gem, but as soon as I delivered you to those idiot humans,he who shall not be namedfelt the shift in my essence, or more accurately, the development of it, and waited until the time was right to strip it from me."
"When I met Havok."
“Yes." Another drink of my coffee has finally cleared my head. "When there was no longer a need for me to watch over you, he stripped my soul from my body, took it for himself despite the fact that he is not a collector of souls, punished me to the point of death’s door then tortured my soul every day since." I push my faded pink hair from my eyes. "It is why I was unable to save you from Nero."
Cora waves her hand dismissively. "No one could have and I'm really tired of all the men in my life blaming themselves for that. You, my lovey, my dragons, none of you could have saved me the first time because you weren't supposed to and it was how things were meant to happen. Besides, it led us here and now we're all one big happy family despite the many layers of fucked up. It is what it is, and I love you regardless."
I smile a little and look at my mate who had said something similar after learning of my true nature and many sins. "Yes, but that started something else I could not stop."
"Your many lifetimes of killing my angel,” Havok grunts, though he is not mad. I do believe the vampire has finally forgiven me. "We know this already."
"What you do not know is that my forced mission in regards to Cora was also sweetened with the possibility of my soul returning to me if I successfully performed the task I never asked for. The first time I… the first time I killed Cora,he who shall not be namedcrashed it and changed the deal, added the repeated death to my task and threatened to kill me then bring me back as his most favorite kind of pet if I did not carry out The Caster of Shadows’ wishes."
"Which means what, exactly?" Colt folds his arms against his chest and leans into the wall. "Despite being a bastard I doubt that was enough to get you to agree willingly."
"It was not. I did not, do not, care what happens to me at all, but if I had not willingly agreed to do their bidding, he would have been the one hunting down my sister in each life and he would have… it would have been far worse than what I did and I could not have that."
Havok nods. "So in a twisted way you spared her by agreeing to his terms. Again, something we know."
"Yes, but you were not aware of how he changed the deal, correct?"
They all nod.
"After I failed to kill Cora and she took my name, he came to me and said since I had changed the deal this time I would never see my soul again, said that the second Cora released me I would be punished greater than I ever have and called me a disgrace to demons everywhere.” I pour myself one more cup of coffee to get back to normal then take a sip. "And despite the many challenges it has created for me, my sister holding power over me has saved me this past year."
"Which is why it's fucking nuts you're asking for it back,” Cora huffs as she kicks her feet up in the folding chair, two were brought to make her more comfortable in the cave while we talked.
I sigh. "Yes, but there is more.He who shall not be namedhad no intent to return my soul after I failed my mission, most likely never intended to return it at all, but used my perceived sabotage to say it would never happen as long as he had it in his possession, but one day that changed.” I scrub a hand over my face and attempt to brace myself for their reaction. "He came to me yet again and offered me another deal, one that was directly from The Destroyer and would be once again forced if I did not willingly agree."
"That guy sucks.” Cora frowns. "Especially for someone who isn't a deal maker like you."
"Yes, yes my gem, he does in fact suck." And so do I, honestly. "He offered me my soul and my freedom in exchange for the one thing The Caster of Shadows has never been able to attain."
Colt shifts a little and pins me with those amber eyes. "Which is what?"
