Smart ass.
But I just lower myself further, wipe away her tears with my thumb. "Make me understand, angel."
"I don't know how, I just know… I just know that what I saw wasn't true."
Henrich's theory on how to trigger my love's memories clearly springs to the forefront of my mind and I take a deep breath. "What did you see?"
"Something that couldn't possibly be true, something that doesn't make sense but feels like it should. It felt right but was clearly wrong based on the way you're rejecting me."
"Rejecting you?" Now my eyebrows have shot so high they practically flew off my face. "How am I rejecting you?"
"It doesn't matter. It was stupid, all of it, and clearly I'm losing my fucking mind because I've started to get all kinds of delusional."
My light squirms beneath me, to my cock's delight, and tries to shove me off of her but instead I grab her wrists and pin them above her head.
"Talk to me."
“No."
"Please, angel, talk to me. Tell me what is going on."
“No," she grits out. "Talking is pointless. You'll think I'm crazy and I probably am, so just leave it at that."
Oh, my stubborn little minx. I have missed this but now is not the time. No, we will have all of eternity to bicker and butt heads but right now she needs to explain herself.
"Tell. Me."
My light fights against my hold, a useless action that has the reverse effect, one I know she feels as well since her pulse has picked up and her pupils have grown wider, the delicious scent of her arousal all I can smell.
"Why? Why should I tell you anything, Havok? You obviously don't want my help, don't want me at all, and if I were to tell you all of the shit running through my head right now you'd only turn tail and run from the crazy bitch you just fed from."
"I don't want you?"
"Obviously!" she snaps, her tears now angry.
But I will not let this go. "That was a question,” I growl. "Does it feel like I do not want you?" I roll my hips against hers and we both groan but my light’s sound of pleasure turns into one of frustration.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a natural response to feeding right? For all I know, you could be thinking about horseback riding or fried chicken or… or… or Andrej! That is only your body's way of reacting to feeding, especially after such a long fucking time without!"
"That has rarely ever happened to me during a feeding, not until I met you and you are damn well aware of it!" I instantly recoil because I'm arguing with her as if this was centuries ago, arguing with my love just like the first time I fed from her and had to defend my reaction. She has no knowledge of this, of my physiology or our previous arguments.
"I know!" My light bites back, causing further confusion. "But obviously time changes things, which is stupid to say because if time could change things then it would mean what I saw was true and it's crystal fucking clear that it wasn't!"
"What wasn't?! You have to give me something more than that in order to validate or dispute your claim!"
"Fine!" My light wrenches her wrists from my grip and shoves my chest. "You want me to tell you, tell you why you'll think I'm crazy?! Fine!"
Almost quicker than I can comprehend, my light flips over and grabs the headboard and because I am temporarily struck stupid by the sight of her backside, the beautiful lace clad ass I've only seen naked a few times, she manages to get free from underneath me and starts toward the edge of the bed.
Always running.
But this time I catch her, snake my arm around her waist and slam her back into the mattress. Not hard, definitely not as hard as I could, but enough to knock a little fight from her.
"Tell me!" I growl as I flip her over, straddle her hips and pin her wrists to the bed. "Tell me why you believe I will think you're crazy, why I would dare to think that when you accepted what I am without so much as a blink of an eye!"
"Because!" She squirms, kicks her legs, arches her back. "Because I fell in love with you before I knew I had done it lifetimes ago! Because when you bit me, I saw a whole life that we shared, two years of the sweetest moments rushed through my brain like a dam broke and I thought for a split fucking second that it meant it had actually happened!" My light jerks her body against mine. "I saw every fucking second of a life that I knew was mine, a life whenyouwere mine and I thought it was real!"
I press her harder into the mattress, narrow my eyes. "It was real. Every fucking second was real and I have relived it a thousand times over, afraid I'd never find you again."
