My light fights against me. "Havok! Havok, I'm sorry! Oh god, I'm so sorry!"
The invisible hold on her body releases as I pull her to my chest, wrap her tightly in my arms, and lean against the wall. "I'm here, my angel. I am here. You are safe."
"Havok!" She sobs. "Havok, please!"
Slowly the fight leaves her, she becomes less restless but cries, cries so hard I have to fight my own tears.
"Havok…moje srdce…láska moja..."
My chest squeezes, tightens to the point of pain as she calls for me, calls me the names she used to.
My heart.
My love.
Then all at once, she goes completely limp.
We sit that way for a while, my angel in my lap, cradled against me as her small form regulates, my body barely able to fit in the loft space. I just hold her, breathe in her scent, and thank the universe I was here in time.
I don't know what would have happened had I not intervened, but I am grateful I was here in time to stop it.
Then her breathing changes.
Her pulse speeds up a bit.
I feel her body stiffen ever so slightly and I know my angel is fully awake and aware of my presence.
But then her shoulders begin to shake, her fingers dig into my shirt, clutch it in her small fists as she buries her face in my chest.
"I don't… I can't..." my light is crying again. "I don't want to be alone anymore."
Oh, my poor dead heart.
The things this beautiful light does to that wretched muscle.
"You don't have to be, my angel,” I whisper into her hair. "You don't have to be alone ever again. Just let me in and I will make sure of it."
My light practically climbs my body, repositions herself to wrap her arms around me, buries her face in my neck, tries to crawl inside of me to seek comfort while she cries until we both fall asleep.
* * *
I'm vaguely aware of the smell of something burning, but ignore it in favor of analyzing the weight on my chest, the scent in my nose, the delicate fingers on my neck.
My light.
I am completely surrounded by my light, bathed in her warmth.
Her warmth never used to be quite so hot though.
Or itchy.
I definitely do not remember my light’s warmth being itchy.
It definitely didn't burn, it—
My eyes snap open as realization sets in.
I fell asleep with my angel, fell asleep in her home full of windows.
