Page 99 of His Fate
I shake my head. "It might be set in the forties, look like something from decades past but I have this feeling that it means when we go to war and he faces Cyril that he, that Kai..." Tears sting at my eyes, burn my nose and throat. "My dreams have always been prophetic, Al, all the way back to when I was a little girl. I dreamt of all those murders twenty years ago before we even moved to Ashland, dreamt of my mother's death in vivid detail years before it happened. Hell, I even dreamed about you getting pregnant with Daisy."
Allie takes a deep breath and leans her head against mine and just holds me while I cry.
I haven't told Kai about my dreams because I don't want him to worry about me, don't want him to lose focus on planning our defense.
And to be honest, I don't want to hear the words of reassurance and undying love he'd definitely give me because nothing can convince me that what I've seen in my dreams is wrong, that it won't come true.
I'm going to lose him, lose the love of my life, my mate, my everything and I have no idea how to stop it.
"You really should talk to him about this."
I shake my head again, swipe at a few tears. "He has too much on his plate as it is, he's still so worried about..."me.But I don’t say that."Everything. I don't want to add to that or make him lose sight of what he's doing."
"I get that, Posey, but maybe if you talked to him you could sort through this stuff, maybe figure out if there is some deeper meaning than what you see in your dreams."
"Maybe. It's more likely he'll freak out over it though, freak out because I've been a nervous wreck and haven't leaned on him the way I should. And Kai believes in my dreams, Al. He believes everything I've ever shared with him because he sees it too, to some extent. If I allow him to see these dreams, see what has me so scared then he'll believe it." I smile a little. "He'll pretend like it's bullshit, try to reassure me but deep down Kai will believe me because he has so much faith in me and my abilities… I want him to stay on track. I don't want him to waver in his plan even a little just because I've had crazy dreams."
"There's more than one?" Allie asks as she hugs me even tighter.
I nod. "There's another, one that doesn't make complete sense because I always have it after the one where I know I'm going to lose him."
"Tell me about it."
"I take it Andrej explained the whole mating process? That you mate, have a ceremony then consummate again afterward?"
Allie nods against me. "He did, and he said he wants to wait, just like his brothers, for the actual ceremony part so the four of them can do it together since they all found their mates around the same time and the four of us are so close. Andrej said they've talked about it since they were young and always hoped it would work out this way."
God, I love those Dragovihk men.
"Kai said the same. Said they always wanted a joint ceremony. And he wants Dad to be the one to officiate."
"It is so adorable how close the four of them are." Al giggles. "And it's pretty fucking hot that those big, broody boys are sentimental romantics."
I can't help but smile. "It is." I sigh. "Did Andrej explain what happens after the ceremony?"
"Sort of. He said that when we mate again afterward it's even more intense than the first time, which is just mind boggling to me because every time we've been together since the first time it's been more intense than the last."
"Yeah, well, the solidification of a mated pair’s life-bond is super intense and with dragons, the final act of the process is nothing short of life changing. We're already mated because we did it the first time, that's the actual mating, but the ceremony is so the bond is recognized by the masses, a visible act of claiming your fated one and the consummation that follows is incredibly meaningful to the male."
"Isn't the whole thing meaningful to both of us?" she asks as we lean back into the couch.
I nod. "It is. There is nothing like the joining of a fated pair, and the ceremony is so your loved ones can be included, a sign of embracing both families, both clans involved but the final act is more specific to the male." With a small smile I sigh. "It takes place in his den, which isn't necessarily the significant part. A dragon's den isn't somewhere just anyone can go, only his mate, and eventually his young but what makes it special is the fact that you mate again on his hoard."
Allie blushes. "That explains why Andrej piled blankets and pillows on the opposite side of the room then."
"Yeah." I chuckle because he is so cute. "Male dragons are very attracted to shiny things so you might find some cool odds and ends in his hoard but mostly it's his life savings—the coins and jewels passed down from his family or ones he's accrued over time on his own as a way to one day provide for his mate. A male dragon consummates their mating there as a sign of completely surrendering himself to his fated one, a sign of always providing for her, taking care of her and because the hoard is usually worth millions if not more, it's the ultimate sign of vulnerability, of baring all to his mate as a sign of eternal love and the life-bond."
"I really like everything I've been learning about shifters and how they do things. It's like a real life fairytale."
I smile. "Yeah, and if you're lucky you get a never ending happily ever after."
"Which we will all have." Allie nudges me.
"That's just it though. My happily ever after is totally up in the air. I have the dream about seeing Kai off to war but it's always followed by mating on his hoard. I dream of the two of us having the most earth shattering experience in his den on top of Kai's hoard, both of us moved to tears and so fucking in love but it's always after I lose him and I don't understand how that's possible. If I lose Kai then how can we consummate our life-bond? How are we able to have such an intense moment if he's already supposed to be gone?"
A fresh wave of tears roll down my cheeks as Allie rubs my back, tries to comfort me the best way she can.
I wish I could remember more about who I was before I glamoured myself, wish I could recall everything. I've remembered most of it, regained all the things I hid from myself but since my dragon is still relatively dormant I can't get a full picture of who I am, of how my gifts work because she is such an intricate part of it.
