I didn't like it when she left but I understood it. Her entire world unraveled the minute we stepped through the door, and processing such a large amount of information, especially information that challenges everything she has ever known, can be almost impossible. I respected her need to do that alone, did not follow despite every instinct in my body as well as my dragon telling me I should, and it was easier to do when I could still feel her.
To a degree anyway because the pain and heartache, the betrayal she felt was crippling but at least I could feel that. And Posey made sure to send me small reassurances, brief messages so I knew she was ok and not far, but then that stopped. At first I panicked but relaxed when I could tell she had fallen asleep, bone deep exhaustion, both physical and emotional, settling in that hit me like a ton of bricks as well. I actually had to take a nap because it was so consuming.
But then I was jolted awake, felt a sharp stab of anger followed by a slice of fear then nothing. I cannot feel my mate at all.
Hank keeps reassuring me that this is Posey's M.O., that since she was a child she's gone to deal with her feelings in a similar fashion and that I should give her time to cool off, she'll be back when she's ready.
When I brought up my inability to feel anything from her or get a response when I'd reach out to touch her mind, I saw the flash of worry etched in Hank's eyes but he just said the same. Posey is bull-headed and stubborn and if there were ever a female who could turn off the life-bond, it would be her.
I beg to differ.
Though my mate is exactly that and can probably shut me out better than I'd like to think, this just feels different. It's as if my beloved is just gone.
Andrej has been watching me. Waiting with me. Sitting on the window sill glancing out every few minutes before he resumes staring at me. He is a soldier, the second in command of my father's army, head of the king's guard, but he is also my brother. First and foremost he is my brother, my eldest and most protective brother and I am very aware of the connection he felt to my mate, my Josephine from the first time they met.
Andrej, on the surface, is perhaps the most intimidating of the four of us. The inky black hair and even blacker eyes rimmed in gold coupled with his size—though he is a half inch shorter than me, he is wider and much more grizzled—make him fierce but the many scars on his face, running through his hair and down his neck make him downright terrifying. But underneath that armor hides the heart of a poet, an artist, a sensitive male who cares deeply and is almost more insecure than the rest of us.
And when Andrej met Posey, the night at the pub, he knew she was our queen. Not because she didn't flinch when he spoke in his grunt-like way, rough and baritone, almost distorted from how deep his voice is. Not because she smiled at him warmly and made eye contact despite the way his scars litter his face. And not because she is my mate. No, Andrej knew instantly that she was our queen simply by the way she gave each of us shit without batting an eye but followed it up with sincere compliments without even knowing us.
His feelings, his intuition about her only grew the more time we spent with her. That first week I mostly visited on my own, whether picking her up from work or taking her home but several times Andrej accompanied me and I know it wasn't just as protection. He was feeling her out, getting a read on her character and the first time Posey touched him without hesitation, a brief and friendly squeeze of his forearm in thanks, he felt that connection to her almost as strongly as my life-bond with her. If I didn't understand it, understand Andrej, it would make me jealous but it isn't like that. After we dropped her off I waited for him to tell me what he felt and when he did, my heart warmed.
Andrej simply looked at me and said with the utmost conviction, “She is my sister. Sister by your bond, family by your shared heart. I will lay down my life for her as I would for you or our brothers. Until death, your mate is my queen, my family, my sister, and she will always be cared for as such.”
That's pretty huge from a male who speaks less words than I do.
So it is no surprise Andrej has been waiting with Hank and I, waiting for my beloved to return for almost six hours, nor is it surprising that it is driving him nearly as mad as it is me.
We sent Henrich, Grace, Milos, and Casey back home since our uncle is due to arrive tonight, but Hank would not leave because he is convinced Posey will be back, and since she doesn't know the way to her new home, he decided to wait. Of course, Janet is waiting with him, the two of them are currently in the kitchen putting together some sort of meal with the last of the perishable food, Hank sitting in a kitchen chair, the only piece of furniture left in the house.
While my mate went to sort her thoughts, we finished packing their belongings and loaded them into the many cars in the driveway. Casey and Grace were granted permission to put Posey's things in my wing while Henrich and Milos situate Hank and Janet's boxes in the first floor quarters that will become theirs.
I have never been more thankful that Milos is a bit of an extravagant little twit because if he wasn't we wouldn't have enough room for all of us.
When we bought the mansion and property and had everything expanded, he designed it so it was essentially three levels complete with very large apartments. The first not only has the shared kitchen and living room, formal dining room, and sitting room but it has two, two bedroom, two bathroom apartments, one on the left for Karel and one on the right for Hank and Janet and thankfully, the second bedrooms can be converted easily into dens for their dragons. The second floor contains three, three bedroom apartments, Milos and Casey to the left, Henrich and Grace to the right and Andrej in the center, his entrance connected through the staircase that leads up to my wing. Perhaps wing is the wrong terminology considering the fact that Posey and I will occupy the entire third floor but it's how I refer to it most of the time.
My wing has five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a living room, library, and my office. We each have our own den as well, a place large enough for our dragons complete with our personal hoards, and though I have a private entrance to the cave in the mountain where our family's hoard and salvaged personal effects reside, there is an entrance for my brothers to use next to Andrej's apartment.
The design of our home allows for additions, which will be greatly needed since three of us are now mated and intend to have many young, but I fear at some point we may have to just build extra houses and attach them where appropriate. It all depends on each of our mates and how they feel about large families.
I cannot even begin to think how we'd make it work if Casey's family were shifters and not across the country in Massachusetts or if Grace's family hadn't been taken from her all those years ago when the murders began. Which is a terrible and selfish thought, I know, but it is much like the thought I've had since finding my mate. Had we not lost our family in much the same fashion we never would have come here and I wouldn't have met Posey, and if Grace hadn't lost her family she never would have stayed in order to find their murderer. From death comes new life, at least in this case.
So much death. Unnecessary and cruel. Tragedy after tragedy that seems to outweigh the good. Thunderstorms without mercy.
Just as the thought enters my mind a crack of lightning splits the sky as it goes eerily dark. My bones ache and that same sense of dread and foreboding I felt the night our family was slaughtered creeps into my body.
Andrej looks out the window, up at the sky as thunder booms then he turns to me. "He lied."
I nod, knowing exactly what my brother refers to.
"Why?"
"To protect her."
Andrej shakes his head and turns back to the window as lightning strikes again. "It will only make things worse."
"I know." Gods, how I know.
I'm not sure how but I know for a fact Hank lied to Posey about her real mother's death. I don't believe that he was only with her for one hundred and fifty seven years. I do not believe she died due to complications from childbirth, it is too rare even for humans and the fact that my mate’s mother had shifter blood makes it even less possible. I also find it hard to believe that Posey's mother was aware of being a shifter but never knew what kind. You know what you are as long as you show the traits so she had to have known.
