"I suppose so." I navigate around a partially submerged log. "I'm sorry I overreacted that day. It was just... the timing couldn't have been worse with the management meeting."
"No, you were right to be upset." Alder's voice is more serious now. "I should have talked to you first. I just thought..." He trails off, focusing on his paddling.
"Thought what?"
He shrugs. "That you were avoiding me because you weredisappointed. Maybe if I showed some initiative with the revenge plan, things would return to how they were."
His honesty catches me off guard. "I wasn't disappointed in you, Alder. I was trying to protect my job." I pause, considering how much to reveal. "And maybe protect myself a little too."
"From me?" He sounds genuinely confused.
"From this whole situation." I gesture vaguely between us, nearly losing my balance in the process. "It's complicated, and I'm not good at complicated."
"Seems like we're both pretty bad at it," he admits with a small smile. "Maybe we should stick to simple today."
"Simple sounds perfect."
We continue upriver, pointing out red hawks swooping above the water and laughing at a dog that barks frantically at us from the riverbank. The conversation flows as easily as the current, touching on childhood memories of summer, favorite water activities, and Gordie's hilarious fear of the neighbor’s garden hose.
After about an hour, Alder suggests we head back. "There's a little café near the rental place. Best bagels in Pittsburgh."
"Lead the way," I say, surprised by how reluctant I am for our time on the water to end.
The return journey is even easier, as we're now moving with the current. By the time we reach the boat launch, I feel more relaxed than I have in weeks. The attendant helps us out of our kayaks, and I'm pleased to find that I'm not even embarrassed when he steadies me as I climb out.
"How're your arms feeling?" Alder asks as we return our life jackets.
I rotate my shoulders, noticing the pleasant burn of muscles used in new ways. "I'll be sore tomorrow, but the good kind of sore."
"Nothing a hot shower won't fix." He takes a long pull from his water bottle, and I try unsuccessfully to look away from his throat as he swallows. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and I realize I’m almost drooling. "Ready for lunch? It's just a short walk."
Farmer x Baker is a café built into a repurposed shipping container at the edge of Aspinwall Riverfront Park. The line stretches outside the container, but Alder assures me it moves quickly.
"Trust me, it's worth the wait," he says, and twenty minutes later, when I'm biting into the most perfect avocado toast I've ever tasted, I have to agree.
We sit at a small table outside the café, watching families with children and people walking dogs enjoy the park.
"Gunnar's wedding … tomorrow,” Alder says suddenly. "I know things have been weird, but... I'd still really like it if you'd comewithme."
I take a sip of my iced coffee, buying time to organize my thoughts. "I haven't changed my mind about finding my place," I say finally. "I still think it's for the best."
"I know." He looks down at his plate. "The invitation stands regardless. It would mean a lot to have you there."
I pat his hand. “I’m going to the wedding regardless. But the question is how much time I can safely spend with you while we’re there.”
He shakes his head. “You're the only one who gets it. What I've been through with Adam. And..." he hesitates, "because I like spending time with you. Today has been the best day I've had in weeks."
The simple honesty in his voice makes my chest tighten. "Mine too," I admit.
"So? Wedding date?" He gives me a hopeful look.
"Okay," I say, surprising myself with how easily the agreement comes. "I'll be your very casual, friendly plus one."
His smile is like the sun breaking through clouds. "Perfect. Now finish your fancy toast so I can show you the rest of the park."
After eating, we wander through the green space, eventually finding ourselves at a small playground. There are a few children climbing on the equipment, but the swings are empty.
"Race you," Alder says suddenly, and before I can respond, he's jogging toward the swing set.
