"We can be more careful. I can be more thoughtful. Keep things professional." It’s not like me to be impulsive like this, not really. I’m usually more strategic. This situation with Adam has me fucked in the head.
"It's not just that." She looks away. "I think I need space to figure things out. On my own."
"Is this because of the quartet?" I'm scrambling now, feeling something important slipping away. "Because I can fix that. I'll call my agent. I'll talk to management and explain that you had nothing to do with it."
"It's not just the quartet." She finally meets my eyes again. "It's everything—the kiss at Brad's apartment. Your family thinking we're a couple. The media attention. It's too much."
I feel a hollowness spreading in my chest. "So you're just going to leave? Just like that?"
"Not right away," she concedes. "I haven't found a place yet. But I did get the lease transferred out of my name." She shrugs and smiles, a small victory. I want to hug her or at least give her a high five, but I’m not sure how tobearound her right now.
We sit in silence for a moment, the distance between us on the couch feeling suddenly vast. Gordie whines softly from his bed, sensing the tension.
"I've come to rely on you," I finally admit, my voice quieter than intended. "These past couple weeks, having you here... it's made everything better." I swallow hard. "You're a good friend, Lena. Probably the best friend I have right now outside of my brothers."
Her expression softens slightly. "You've been a good friend to me, too, Alder. But that's why this is so hard. I can't risk my career, even for a good friend."
"What about Gunnar's wedding?" The question seems trivial in the face of everything else, but it bursts out of me anyway. "It's next week. The whole team will be there. I need... I was hoping you'd be my plus one."
She hesitates, and for a moment, I think she's going to refuse because of the optics. "I'll think about the plus-one status," she says finally. "But no promises."
It's not much, but it's not a no, either. I'll take it.
"I'm sorry about the quartet," I say again. "I really was just trying to make you happy."
"I know." A ghost of a smile flickers across her face. "For what it's worth, the video was pretty satisfying. Brad looked like he was going to dissolve into the floor."
"So, mission accomplished, at least partially?"
She shakes her head, but the slight curve of her lips betrays her. "You're impossible."
"Part of my charm," I attempt, but the joke falls flat in the still-tense atmosphere.
We lapse into silence again. There's so much more I want to say, but I'm unsure how, or if I should. I miss our easy conversations. The townhouse feels wrong when she's not in it.
But those aren't things you say to someone who's already got one foot out the door.
"I should get some work done," Lena says finally, standing up. "Real work this time, not just an excuse."
"Right." I nod, staying seated. "I'll make dinner. If you want some."
"Maybe." She pauses at the edge of the living room. "Alder? No more surprises, okay?"
"No more surprises," I agree. “I swear on my best pair of Bauers.”
After she disappears down the hall, I slump back against the couch. Gordie takes this as permission to approach, jumping up beside me and resting his head on my lap with a sympathetic whine.
"I really screwed up, didn't I?" I murmur, scratching behind his ears. He truly does stink. I’ll have to find a groomer who can see him regularly.
My phone buzzes with a text. For a hopeful moment, I think it might be Lena, already forgiving me. But Adam's name appears on the screen.
Can we talk?
I stare at the message for a long moment before deleting it without replying. Whatever twisted game Adam is playing, I want no part of it.
CHAPTER 19
LENA
