Her footsteps inched closer and closer, until she reached the scene.
“Seth are you - what happened?”
“Just get out of my room -”
His Dad stepped forward again, “Son, something has been bothering these last few days and you haven’t - your Mum and I are just concerned.”
Mum and I.
“Oh fuck off. You guys haven’t cared about me for years, don’t pretend you do now.”
His parents both stumbled back, in ridiculous sync, as though Seth’s words had been bullets.
“Seth what are you -”
“Seth, son, come on -”
Their words even came out at the same time, and Seth hated the synchronised act. Because where was this when he was young? When he needed it most?
When he was first forming his views on love, and he needed his parents as an example?
He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Stop,stop it.Both of you,” he exploded. A still silence followed, just like it would after a grenade. He breathed in, willing the right words to him. Willing any tears away. “Don’t act like you’re both some team now. Don’t act like you both didn’t go and try tofuckother people while you were broken up.”
His harsh attacks poured from his mouth like acid, and his Dad gasped.
“Seth,how dare you.”
“Rob, wait. Let’s hear him out,” his Mum said, as his Dad stepped forward.
Seth glanced away, and suddenly, with both his parents standing in front of him, he felt little again. Little 13-year-old Seth again, who had to hear them fight. 15-year-old Seth who had to watch them separate, and pretend not to know each other.
“It’s pathetic isn’t it? A 22-year-old man can’t get over his mummy and daddy’s separation,” he murmured. He waited for his parents to respond, but they didn’t. The space filled with a sharp silence that threatened to burst at any moment.
“I failed because of you. You both showed me the worst side of love and itfuckedme up. Everytime I think I’m close to happiness, I keep getting scared that whoever I fall in love with, we’ll end up like thebothof you. Because that’s what I saw, isn’t it? The cycle doesn’t end?”
His Mum’s eyes glistened, the sun from the window catching the tears building in them.
“OhSeth,baby, I -”
“You never helped me understand. You never cared about me. And now, just because you both magically fixed your marriage, you just expected us to be okay? Sure. Sure, alright. Because I’m in my 20s now, is that right? I’m old enough to just, go with it? I’m going to move out one day, won’t I? But you never helped the young me understand. You showed me the ugliest side of your relationship and left me alone in it. Just because your marriage was fixed, doesn’t make me okay with seeing when it was broken.”
The words hung over them, suffocating them like gas. He didn’t want to wait to hear what they had to say. Grabbing his phone from his desk, he pushed past his parents, and left his room. He needed to leave the house, to be anywhere but this place.
“Seth -” his Mum called out, following him down the hallway, toward the front door.
“Come on, don’t go,” his Dad said, voice dipping into almost a plea.
Yet, Seth’s fingers had already closed around the knob of his front door. He pulled it open, and a gust of the cold, winter air enveloped him. He heard his parents footsteps slow behind him, likely contemplating whether they should physically try to stop him, or just let him go.
As he stepped out, he paused, his hand gripping the edge of the door.
“You know what the worst part is?” he asked, not in a yell, but in a softness that was as lifeless as the eye of a storm. “The only girl I’ve ever been in love with came back into my life. And I pushed her right back out, just like I did in high school, all because of you.”
Without waiting for a response, Seth stepped out into the cold, slamming the door closed.
32
