Page 39 of If Only


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Some of the prettiest girls of the grade were there, but Seth…didn’t care. Hadn’t cared for a while, really. Wondered if he really cared about that kind of stuff, outside of trying to comply tirelessly with Joshua’s tirade and obsession with being on the‘ins’with the ‘10/10s’.

Gosh, it was exhausting, that kind of thinking.

But Seth had no choice, did he? Joshua was his only companion, other than Dennis. Without him, he’d be alone in school.

A couple of nights after that outing, he was seized with this unusual desire to hear Nina’s voice. Mostly, during the holidays, he’d been playing a popular multiplayer battle game -Legendary Heroes- that he and Dennis had discovered recently and grown obsessed with. Joshua thought that it was a game just for losers, which is why he never played with them.

Oh well, he was missing out.

One night, as Seth and Dennis loaded up a new game, he mentioned that there were others in their cohort that played as well.

“Oh? Who?” Seth asked, his heart beating and riding a high after their gaming squad won another tense one-hour game.

“You know, Bianca, Anthony, Peter,” Dennis informed. There was a beat, “And yourgirlfriend.”

Something caught against Seth’s throat, and he swallowed. Must be a piece of dust floating from his pc.

“Who?” he asked, feigning boredom and cluelessness. But he knew. Oh, he knew who Dennis was talking about.

“I’m just messing with you, Seth. It’s Nina, she plays too.”

That was definitely a surprise. He never thought her the type to play Legendary Heroes…or the type to play games at all. A strange wave washed over him…something similar to anticipation and impressedness.

“Oh,” Seth said, simply, “Well, you wanna invite them to a game?”

Another beat passed, and Seth could tell Dennis was definitely caught off guard.

“I mean, sure, why not,” he said.

A couple of nights later, Bianca, Anthony and Nina were all available to play. They were all from the same class, so it wasn’t hard to create a Skype group chat among them. It was at about nine, when Dennis pressed call. Seth was the first to answer, and Anthony next.

They made idle conversation amongst each other, and while Seth didn’t usually chat with Anthony much in class, they were friendly enough that it wasn’t awkward. All he remembered was the day Anthony berated Nina endlessly about her crush on Seth.

A part of Seth felt dismayed at him, for that. And another strange part, felt thankful.

A few minutes later, Bianca hopped on.

The moment Seth heard her voice, a feminine tone higher than he’d been hearing with Anthony and Dennis, his heart skipped a beat. Until he realized it was Bianca. He’d found herattractive before, sure, but his heart calmed instantly when he realised it’s Bianca.

“Is Nina coming on soon?” Anthony asked, a question that was on the tip of Seth’s tongue.

“Yeah she is..”

At that, a small ding sounded, signalling a new addition to the call. Seth’s heart seized him, squeezing his chest. He forced his breaths to come naturally. They all waited for Nina to greet them. But there was just silence.

“Why isn’t she answering?” Seth’s voice surprised him. He sunk back into his chair afterward, swallowing the rest of his words.

“Just wait a few seconds,” Bianca said.

“Hi guys, sorry, technical difficulties.”

Her voice was soft, uncertain, but kind and always, always tinged with that brightness that Seth quietly marvelled over.

“Hi,” he replied, because no one else had. His voice sounded croaky and pathetic to his ears.

Everyone else followed suit, greeting Nina. Dennis asked Nina how her night has been, and who her favourite choice of character was. Seth remained silent for most of the welcome, sinking back against his chair, as though to hide the heat that’d crept up.

Nina’s voice grew more confident in itself, louder, and her chuckles sent shivers through him.