What could have possibly happened in a week that he decided I wasn’t worth it anymore?
The possibilities, the questions tormented me.
What did I do wrong?
So now, facing the very real possibility that Rafayel could maybe, genuinely like me back, that this isn’t simply a delusion anymore, presented me with the same fears.
What if, in a week, he decides that he’s had enough of me?
What can I possibly do to convince him to stay?
Once I arrive home, I call Ria to my room to debrief.
She nods along, pulling all the correct expressions at the twists and turns of my narrative.
It isn’t until I reach the end that she exclaims, “It’s about time he did that but this is good, really good!”
I smile at her enthusiasm.
“Does he have social media?” Ria asks.
“I haven’t asked him yet.”
After a beat, Ria adds, “So, you don’t think that the budding relationship between you and Marlon will affect anything?
Relationship? My mouth grows warm, suddenly, and I stammer out, “There’s no relationship -”
Ria motions with her hand for me to stop whatever I’m about to say.
“I mean your friendship, obviously. I guess, just still be careful. I just don’t want you putting Rafayel on a pedestal when he’s still technically a stranger.”
Her words make sense, but I didn’t want to hear sense right now. Not when fireworks have been going off in my brain all day, ever since Rafayel gave me his phone.
I just want her to hype me up, to be excited over the fact that my first romance could come to fruition with the cutest boy I’d ever met.
I want her to squeal with me over the fact that I’m actually on track to mirroring my parents’ love story. For once, to see love, and love-love the wayIdo.
“Okay. I hear you. Anyways, I’m gonna go study now,” I say, getting up from my bed and grabbing my laptop.
Ria sighs, exiting my room without a word.
I let my laptop start up, focusing on anything but her words and the implications beneath them, yet as the seconds go by, the words begin to simmer themselves in my brain.
Anything with Marlon…that was an anomaly. A hurdle. It’s nothing, really.Just friends.
On cue, my phone pings. I check it, my heart jumping. It’s from an unknown number.
I inhale sharply, chest turning in over itself. My fingers are shaking as I type my response.
I quickly add his contact information to my phone. First, I enter him asRaf <3until I realise how insane that looks. Then, I backspace on the heart and simply have him asRafayel, yet somehow that looks too passive aggressive.
I finally settle onRafayel :).
For the rest of the night, Rafayel and I have a back and forth banter like that. It turns out, Rafayel doesn’t have a social media presence. He prefers not to spiral too much, since he knew he would get addicted to the endless doom scrolling.
We talk about trivial things, about what he’s doing (he’s watching a replay of a soccer game), about what he’s currently studying (he’s studying part time as an english major, and is in his second year of university), where he went to school, what he does when he’s not working.
It’s when my eyelids begin to grow heavy that I tell him I need to sleep, though it’s all against my will. I close my eyes, but the fireworks in my stomach prevent me from drifting.
