I drop my spoon in my bowl with a clatter. “Because I’m me and he’shim.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Did he tell you he was better than you?”
“No, no, it’s just…we’re very different people and we want different things.”
“What different things?”
“He wants to do music and I want my career.”
Mum nods as if she’s following along. “So you both want jobs?”
“Yes.”
“Well cabbage, lots of couples have jobs. I don’t understand what the problem is.”
I squirm in my seat. “It would look bad.”
“Why would it look bad?”
“Because it would look like I used him to get ahead in my career and he would look like he took advantage of me.”
She looks at me shocked. “Did he take advantage of you?”
“No! Of course not. But that’s what people would say.”
“Anya,” Mum sighs. “Since when have you cared about what other people say? It seems to me that if you have each other it shouldn’t matter what anyone says about you and your relationship.”
“Yeah, well,” I shrug, my soup going blurry. “Well, it’s done now, so…” I trail off, clutching my spoon tightly between my fingers.
Mum rubs my shoulder comfortingly. “Oh, cabbage. Right, tell me more about this new job.”
Chapter 40
DANNY
Pip decided that it would be helpful to have the entertainment news on 24/7. I think it’s akin to torture.
Trevor and our lawyers have been trying to get in touch. I should turn my phone off but I keep it on, in the futile wish that Anya will call. Instead, I meticulously scroll. The official channels will report on updates regardinghimso instead I’m desperately searching for her name.
Dread has been a constant companion in my chest ever since those first pictures came out. That dread has increasingly spread, tightening around my throat like a snake cutting off air. It’s not eased even though I haven’t found any evidence anyone has linked Anya to me. It grows and grows each time I don’t find anything. If no one knows about her, did I even have to lose her in the first place?
A knock sounds at the front door. Only people with the access code to the front gate would be able to get this far. I peek out the window.
My jaw clenches and blood rushes to my ears. The knocking resumes.
“Will you open the goddamn door?” My father booms.
Thankful Pip is in the shower on the other side of the house, I swing the door open. I stand like granite, resting my hand on the door frame.
“Finally,” Charles huffs, attempting to walk past me. My arm strains with how tight I’m clutching the frame, blocking him from entering. Fortunately I’ve been making the most of Pip’s home gym since I arrived.
“What are you doing here?” My jaw hurts from how tightly it’s clenched.
Redness creeps up his cheeks. “I’m here to see my children.” His chest puffs out as if he said a proud statement. He’s never been proud to be my father before.
“The people in this house don’t have fathers.”
I expect him to go for the arm extended in front of his purpling face, so I don’t expect him to put his weight against the door. The door bounces against the wall. I step in front of him.
