“Yes,” I say, but then add, “I understand it was difficult for you.”
“Which is why you tried to mitigate that.” He walks across the library and lowers himself to a chair with a sigh. “I thought I could emotionally detach myself from it, but I could not.”
I know what I should say, and I don’t want to. But if I really am his friend, then I need to.
I settle into the seat next to his and turn to him. “If you regret how things ended...”
“I do.”
I tamp down the blaze of disappointment.
“You could reverse that,” I say.
He frowns over at me, brows creasing. “Reverse...?”
“If you still have feelings for Lady Inglis, I strongly suspect they would be reciprocated.”
He lets out a deep sigh and slumps into his chair. “Which is both the problem andnotthe problem. The opposite of the problem, in fact.”
“Okay...”
He slants a look my way. “I am going to make a confession that will not reflect well on me. I was not entirely honest about how things ended. Yes, I made the mistake of thinking it was an exclusive relationship. Yes, I found out otherwise. Yes, that would have ended the relationship for me. However...”
He fusses in his seat before saying, “I may have given the impression I was angry, even hurt. I certainly behaved that way to Lady Inglis. But that is a lie. I was relieved.”
“Relieved?”
His hands move on his lap, as if he’s not sure what to do with them. “When it happened, I discovered I was relieved to have a reason to end the affair. I enjoyed her company, but we did not suit, and instead of politely disengaging, I leapt on an excuse.”
He glances my way. “An excuse that could be seen as her fault. Which was not my intention at the time. I took full responsibility for the misunderstanding. I thought that would be the end of things. However, the problem with blaming a misunderstanding is that it leaves the other party thinking that the problem can be rectified.”
“Ah,” I say. “Lady Inglis wanted to fix things. That’s why she sent the letter and such.”
A slight flush touches his cheeks. “Yes, and the more she tried to reunite, the worse I felt.” He takes a deep breath. “I treated her poorly.”
“Not as poorly as Lord Simpson did.”
A humorless smile. “That is not much consolation, given how horrified I am by his actions. It also compounds the matter. She deserves better.”
“She does,” I say. “And I hope she finds it. What you did...”
I consider before I continue, “I understand that you feel bad for misleading her, but I also understand why you did. Is it ever possible to break up with someone andnothurt their feelings? There’s a breakup cliché in my world. The person ending things often says ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ in hopes of making it easier. Because how do you tell someone you just don’t fancy them enough?”
“Yes. I was fond of her. I enjoyed our time together, and she was a good person who did nothing wrong.” He exhales. “So that is my confession. If I was uncomfortable during this case, it was because I had done wrong by her. I could fix that by confessing... but it feels as if it would only make things worse.”
“Yeah, going back and saying you just weren’t that into her definitelyisn’tgoing to make her feel better. We solved her case, and from what I understand, that pushed her to make a choice she already knew she had to make.” I glance at him. “Like discovering she was still seeing Lord Simpson pushed you to make a choice you knew you had to make. Sometimes we need the push. Now I hope she finds someone who treats her as she deserves to be treated.”
“As do I.”
I rise and take the envelope from the table. “Circling back to this, Mr. Dickens wanted me to give the first chapters to Isla, but I don’t feel right doing that.”
“Because he’ll never finish the book.”
I nod. “I think, after his death, I can give this to her and explain.”
“She would like that very much.”
I pass him a wry smile. “I still need to get her a gift, though.”
