The difference was, I didn’t care about setting Kiandra free. I wanted her to find someone that would give her everything she wanted and needed but Breezy…walking away from her had a nigga’s chest tight. Every time I thought about her sexy ass grinning up in another’s man’s face, my teeth involuntarily clenched. I didn’t like it. But there wasn’t shit I could do about it. Grief and stress had me pushing her away and when she came to see what was good, seconds after telling her that I wanted to be alone, I ran to Kiandra’s rescue. That was fucked up. And that was the reason I was going to stop thinking with my dick and leave well enough alone.
“You ready?” Maino was breathing just as hard as I had been.
“Hell yeah. Get my ass up outta here. You’d think I weighed five hundred pounds the way I almost died.”
“It’s that weed man,” Maino chuckled. “I need to join your ass and stop for a lil’ bit. If a nigga was chasing me, I’d be as good as got.”
“You better if you plan to keep working out. I don’t even want to think about that shit right now.” Shaking my head, I chuckled.“I feel like a full blown crackhead I want to smoke so bad. It’s ten times harder than I imagined.”
“Of course it’s bad. You’ve been smoking every day for years. What’s the longest you’ve ever been without it?”
I racked my brain trying to remember. “Probably when I got shot. I was in the hospital for like five days, so four days because as soon as I was released, I smoked a blunt in the car.”
“Longest I’ve been without smoking was when I almost died. Combining my time in the hospital and when I came home, I’d say I went like two months without it. It’s been on ever since. I can’t even lie to you. Longest I’ve been since then is probably eight hours if I sleep that long,” he laughed as we stepped outside.
“I have to do at least two full more days. The plan was to go seven days, but if I can go at least three, that’s better than nothing. I don’t even want anything to have a hold over me like that but this is tough. I can’t even front,” I sighed. No smoking, drinking, or having sex. That was too much stuff to go cold turkey from at once. Which I could get pussy. Even if it wasn’t Breezy’s…
“What you about to get into? I’m hungry as hell,” Maino glanced at his phone.
“Food,” I rubbed my growling belly. At first, I couldn’t eat because I haven’t smoked, but that workout just did it for me. I’m ready to fuck a steak up.” My mouth was watering just thinking about it.
Two men were walking down the sidewalk headed in our direction. I glanced at them because the way Maino and I were standing, we were taking up a lot of space. They could have walked around us, but the polite thing to do was to move over. I backed up, and Maino followed suit. The men were engrossed in conversation with one another but as they passed us, what caught my attention was the fact that they had very thick Africanaccents. I turned my head in their direction and simultaneously, they both pivoted with guns in their hands. They continued to walk backwards, but they both let off shots at me and Maino.
We were out in the open. The only thing we could do was run back inside of the gym or hide behind parked cars. I had my hands on the door of the gym when I felt a searing pain in my calf. Seeing as how I’d been shot before, I already knew what it felt like. Those bullets burned. They burned real bad. The heat was worse than the actual pain. It felt as if an inferno had exploded inside my leg.
As I pushed the door open, another bullet slammed into my side sending the heat radiating through my core. Just that fast, my leg went numb, and I tumbled into the gym. On the floor, I scooted backward until I was up against the wall.
“Where’s Maino?” I panted as Chico ran over to the door. He was about to turn the lock.
“He’s on the ground. I got kids in here. I can’t unlock this door unless I know those niggas are gone.” I nodded my understanding.
The last thing I wanted was for innocent kids to get hurt because of some shit that Maino and I had chosen to take part in. I was getting real sick of dealing with this bullshit.
CHAPTER 16
BREEZY
I was morethan likely moving super slow for a few reasons. The main reason was that it was taking way too much effort to keep my anxiety at bay. Being in a hospital; flashbacks of what happened the last time I was there. My fear of death. It all had my chest tight. With each step that I took, it became harder to breathe. Lucci had to be alive because the registration clerk gave me his room number. But just because he was alive didn’t mean he was doing well. I was genuinely afraid of what I’d find. On top of that, I didn’t even know if he wanted to see me. I heard about him and his friend being shot from Lauren. All I could think about was his parents and how it hadn’t been that long since they lost Tyler.
The news that Lucci had been shot literally made my knees buckle. For a few seconds, I couldn’t breathe. I had no clue how Lucci made his money or what he was into, but people didn’t keep shooting at him for no reason. Regardless of whatever, I at least wanted to look him in his face and make sure that he was okay. Even if he didn’t care to see me, I needed to know that he was okay. Or that he would at least be okay eventually.
The closer I got to his room, the harder my heart beat. I placed one hand flat on my belly as if that was going to help calmmy nerves. It felt like my insides were doing the electric slide. My palms were sweaty, and my mouth was uncomfortably dry. As I approached Lucci’s room number, I saw that the door was open. Holding my breath, I peered inside, and my heart slammed into my ribcage.
Her back was to me, but I knew that Kiandra was the woman that stood at his bedside. I stood frozen. I couldn’t go in. Lucci’s face was visible and when his eyes connected with mine, I could see that he was alive and well. That was enough for me. I remembered how to use my legs and back peddled out of his line of vision.
I’ll wait for you.
That was the dumbest shit I ever could have said. There was no way I could wait for Lucci to sort his shit out with Kiandra. I had to gracefully bow out no matter how much it hurt. In the car, my emotions won, and I had a full-blown anxiety attack. Tears streamed down my face as I gripped the steering wheel and hyperventilated. I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but I cried and struggled to breathe and calm my racing heart for way too long. Finally, the tears stopped. My hitched breaths slowly returned to normal, and I was able to lift the center console and remove some napkins.
When my cell phone rang and I saw that Gavin was calling, I welcomed the distraction. At that point, I didn’t care what he wanted. I just needed something to take my mind off the bullshit. Clearing my throat, I answered the phone and tried my very best to sound normal.
“You good?” I could hear the concern in his tone.
“Yeah, my allergies have been acting up. What’s up?”
“I’m surprised you answered. Got me feeling like a lame calling you more than once, when you don’t answer or return my calls half the time.”
“Sorry,” I sighed. “Life has been crazy lately. I’m getting a lot more clientele and taking these continuing education classes. That’s why I told you we could hang out here and there but for the most part, I have to be locked in right now.” That was the truth. But that wasn’t the reason why I’d been ignoring him.
