Times like this, I needed Lauren’s advice, but she was still having a hard time. There was no way I’d bother her with something so trivial. What would I do if she and Lucci got back together, and she was a part of my car club meaning every time Isaw her, it would make me think of him? I groaned as a sudden revelation slammed into my brain.
“You’re the rebound you freakin’ idiot. That man is finally single and the first chance he got, he ran to get some new coochie. He just wanted some ass. Well, I just wanted some dick.” Lucciano had me in the car having full blown conversations with myself.
“Focus, Breezy, focus,” I mumbled. I hadn’t been letting men knock me off my square, and I wasn’t going to start.
Whatever was supposed to happen with Lucci would happen. And if nothing more was supposed to happen, I would be fine with that too. That dick was something delicious literally and figuratively, and I didn’t regret getting it at all. If I had it my way, I’d get it at least one more time.
CHAPTER 9
LUCCI
I didn’t realizeI was driving with my teeth clenched together until my jaw began to ache. Being irritated and angry had been the norm for me since Tyler’s death. In fact, most days, I woke up angry and remained that way throughout the day. It was only the weed and alcohol that kept me from knocking a person’s head off their shoulders. I was so easily irritated that I just stayed to myself ninety percent of the time. Whenever I started to feel like the walls were closing in on me, I had to get out of the house. My plan had been to ride out to the beach. I was still doing that but on a whim, I invited Breezy out with me.
I was taking advantage of being single. With pride, I could say that I’d never cheated on Kiandra, but the moment we were done, no one could make me feel bad about getting it in with another female. I was far from a virgin when I met Kiandra. I’d had some good pussy in my life, but sex with Breezy was amazing. Maybe it was because there was such a strong physical attraction before I ever slid up in her. The chemistry was thick enough to slice with a knife, and she was on my freak level. Breezy’s pussy was tight, wet, and she could take the D. Her fellatio was just as good as the sex. If that was the only person I had to have sex with for the rest of my life, I wouldn’t be upset.
When I arrived at her house, I put the vehicle in park and exited the car. Before I could make it all the way to the door, Breezy was walking out of the house. She was dressed all the way down in black spandex shorts and a matching sports bra, but my dick stiffened the moment I laid eyes on her. Her hair was up in that messy bun that I liked, and the only makeup she wore was lip gloss.
“I should have blown the horn like a ratchet nigga?” I asked in a low tone. “You didn’t even let me knock on the door.”
Breezy giggled. As she neared me, her scent infiltrated my nostrils and made my dick harder. “My bad. I didn’t want to keep you waiting.”
“I’ll always wait for you.” The words rolled off my tongue too easily, and I swear I could see Tyler laughing at me. All the cheesy shit he used to say to females, and my ass was doing it. I didn’t like looking like a sucka, but as bad as I had wanted Breezy, finally being able to get her was a breath of fresh air. I didn’t see the need to front about it.
I didn’t miss the look of uncertainty on her face, but she didn’t respond. I opened the car door for her, and she eased past me. “Thank you.”
In the car, she spoke before I could even put the gear in drive. “What happened with you and Kiandra?”
I looked over at her trying to recall if I’d ever told her Kiandra’s name. With all the smoking and drinking I’d been doing, trying to remember was a waste of time. “We got into an argument, and she told me I could leave. So, I did.”
Breezy’s silence let me know that she wanted the backstory.
“When I was younger and a little more reckless, I got Kiandra put out of her apartment on some dumb shit. She wasn’t my girl, and I was dealing with other females, but I felt bad. It was hard for her to get a place in her name, so I gave her the money to start the process of buying a house. I felt like I owed her thatmuch. We kept messing around, and I ended up getting shot four times. The other females I was dealing with, came by the hospital once or twice but after that, they got ghost. She held it down. Like wiped my ass for me and all. I felt like I owed her. So I repaid her in the form of loyalty and taking care of her financially. Over the years, I started to realize that I was with her more out of obligation and her character than me being in love with her.”
“Oh wow. That’s heavy.”
My shoulder hiked into a passive shrug. “As far as falling in love and shit, I wasn’t on that type of time. I figured if I hadn’t met a female that had me out here on some sucka shit then maybe it wasn’t going to happen. I knew I couldn’t go wrong with a woman like Kiandra by my side, and it turns out that was a mistake. My relationship with her wasn’t the worst, but I was pretty much tolerating her. Settling. Whatever you want to call it, but I for sure don’t love her the way she loves me, and she deserves better than that. I kept waiting for her to realize she was too good for me and to leave me, but she never did.”
Talking about her ass had me feeling some kind of way. I wasn’t so heartless that I hadn’t thought of her. I’d take care of Kiandra until the day I died if she wanted me to. I’d be her friend and be there whenever she needed me, but I didn’t want to be her man anymore, and I didn’t think anything could change that.
“Why do you feel like she’s too good for you?”
“Shorty got shot behind me, and she never once even spazzed out on me and blamed me. Getting her put out of her apartment because I beat a nigga’s ass in the parking lot, having weed in her crib. I’ve never had a job a day in my life. Everyone she knows tells her she’s too good for me. Kiandra barely curses. She doesn’t drink. She’s in church almost every Sunday like clockwork. She’s a daddy’s girl, but her father hates me. I’m just not the nigga she’s supposed to be with.”
Had it been anyone else, I probably would have been annoyed with all the questions. But I had beat Breezy’s pussy up on four different occasions all unprotected. She had the right to know a little something.
“I saw her yesterday. She recognized me from the wake and said she was thinking of getting a Hellcat and joining my car club.”
I didn’t mean to laugh, but I did. When I realized that she was serious, my head whipped in Breezy’s direction. “Get the fuck out of here. A Hellcat? Kiandra?”
“That’s what she said, and it made me feel bad. She asked how I knew Tyler and if I knew you. I told her that I used to tutor you. She seems really nice, and I feel like shit.”
I pushed out a deep sigh. Kiandra wasn’t even thirty, but our breakup obviously had shorty on some midlife crisis type shit. The words Kiandra and car club didn’t even go together unless it was a Camry car club that got together on Sunday and went to church. If she truly wanted a Hellcat, I’d buy her one. But her being in Breezy’s car club would be weird as fuck.
“I doubt she’d actually do it, but why do you feel bad? I knew you first. I didn’t cheat on her with you, and you can’t unfuck me just because she suddenly wants a Hellcat.”
“I know,” she mumbled. “It’s just weird.”
We were about five minutes away from the beach, so the rest of the car ride was silent. Kiandra wanting to join the Hellcat Barbies was funny as hell to me. It was almost a good idea if it wasn’t for the fact that I’d done things to Breezy in the bedroom that I’d never done to Kiandra. I didn’t talk dirty to her, and I had never licked her ass hole. We kissed, but it wasn’t passionate or sloppy. I was so into what I was doing with Breezy, I damn near asked her to spit in my mouth, and I had never in life thought of no shit like that. The fact that she wasn’t all poised and lady like during sex was what I liked the most. Breezy wasn’tafraid to moan, she knew how to throw that ass back, and she talked just as dirty as me. That was the kind of sex I’d been missing for three years.
