“Kiandra gets treated like anything but dirt. You barely want to fuck and when you do, it’s lazy as hell. You hardly ever give head and when you do, you don’t even do it right. Your corny ass parents come over here in the house that I pay the mortgage on and act like I shouldn’t be here. I’m sick of all this shit.”
“So leave!” It was the first time I had ever heard Kiandra yell. Her face was red, and her chest was heaving up and down. She was pissed, and I was relieved. She didn’t have to tell me twice.
I was so afraid she’d change her mind that I only took enough clothes to last a few days. Getting out of dodge while she still wanted me gone was the objective. Maybe I took the coward’s way out. I pushed her until she told me to leave rather than telling her I wasn’t happy. I was wrong for feeling that my happiness and feelings didn’t matter. I needed someone solid and real. The love was secondary. I was a grown ass man. I didn’twalk through life wishing for love and fairytales and shit. But it didn’t take me long to figure out that if I was going to be with one person, I wanted to desire her. I wanted to have fun with her. Be in love and have loyalty. If I wasn’t in love with her after three years, I never would be.
I stayed too long and got in too deep. Kiandra loved me. I was her fairytale. Rather than break her heart, I stayed when the love wasn’t there. Either I had to suffer and remain in a relationship with someone I viewed in the same sentiments as a friend, or I’d put my feelings first and break her heart. It was a lose lose situation. I stayed around for years hoping she’d finally listen to her parents or realize that she was too good for me. The only thing that got accomplished was her falling deeper in love.
Kiandra wasn’t in the living room when I walked out of the house. I had just left the bedroom, so she wasn’t in there either. I didn’t want to keep imposing on Maino, and my heart couldn’t take being around my parents, so I was going to get a hotel room. On the way there, I stopped and got more food and more alcohol. As long as I could drink the pain away, I was cool. Deciding to splurge, I got a presidential suite at the St. Regis. It was $11,500 for a week, and I didn’t give a damn. I didn’t work hard for the money. I stole the shit.
In the room, I sat on the edge of the bed and looked out at the city. The hotel room had a panoramic view. Remembering my harsh words to Kiandra, the sting of my brother being gone, and the burden of living on my shoulders made me kiss my teeth and stand up. I grabbed a glass and pulled the bottle of tequila I purchased from the brown paper bag it was in. I frowned as the tequila slid down my throat. It was smooth, but it still didn’t have the best taste. The taste didn’t matter, however. I emptied the glass and poured more. I had downed the third glass before it dawned on me that I had been drinking cognac earlier. I’d feellike a bitch if I threw up, but it was what it was. There wasn’t much that I cared about.
I’d take physical suffering over mental anguish any day of the week. My phone was on silent, and I hadn’t checked it in hours. Easing it from my pocket, I observed that I had fifteen missed calls and four text messages. One of the calls was from Breezy. Fucking Breezy. I wanted to call her back, but I couldn’t. Mixing liquors and smoking weed had me once again out my body. If I made a move on Breezy, there was a chance she would be with it. No matter how badly I craved her, I didn’t want to have sex with her under the circumstances. Being so drunk and high that I wouldn’t remember the sex wasn’t how I wanted her.
Realizing I was thinking like a female, I chuckled. I was thinking about Breezy on some, ‘I want it to be special,’ type shit. It was the closest I’d come to smiling since I got the news about Tyler. Just that fast my mood soured. Horny or not, I wouldn’t be calling Breezy back. I was going to drink until I passed out. That was the safest thing for me to do.
CHAPTER 8
BREEZY
One of The Hellcat Barbies,Rasheeda, was getting married. A bunch of us agreed that male strippers gave us the ick. So, to celebrate our homegirl’s upcoming nuptials, we decided to do dinner at a nice steakhouse and then get on some ratchet shit at the strip club. It had been five weeks since Tyler’s death, and Lauren was still taking it hard. She elected not to hang out with us, and I respected her decision. Checking on her daily had become a part of my routine. I knew it might take a while for her to get over Tyler, but I would never get tired of making sure she was good.
Changing clothes after leaving Chop House was a must because we were real elegant and classy in that establishment, but for the strip club, it was an entirely different situation. My barely there denim shorts and matching corset helped me transform from classy baddie to leader of the bald head hoe shit crew. We had a section reserved and were going to have a ball in honor of my girl. It was looking like I might never get married myself so any chance I had to celebrate someone else’s union, I was taking it. Rasheeda had been with Kendrick for six years, and they had three babies. Some said they should have beenmarried long ago. I said whatever worked for them was their business.
I drank two lemon drops at dinner. I had the bartender to make mine with top shelf tequila, and I had a slight buzz by the time we left the restaurant. We’d been at the club for less than an hour when the third shot of tequila had me in the perfect zone. The kind of zone that made me stand on the couch and rap along with Glorilla.
“Yeah, I love me a trappin’ ass, dark-skinned country ass, got it out the mud, 6’1 ole thug ass talk real slick, big dick, big gun ass pick a bitch up when we fuck, ole strong ass nigga. Makin’ them plays, stackin’ that pape buying me whatever I want ass nigga.” I was rapping with my entire chest. Until I locked eyes with him and saw him watching me.
Instantly I swallowed my words and had to play it off by looking away and continuing to dance. I had just been describing the perfect man when I locked eyes with a man that pretty much seemed to fit most of those criteria. Or maybe I wanted him to. He wasn’t dark, and I had no clue whether or not his member was big. Getting down off the couch, I played the role of Rasheeda’s hype woman and tried to ignore the racing of my heart that had nothing to do with the physical activities I was partaking in.
It had been almost a week since I called Lucci, and he didn’t return my call. I felt that constantly sending text messages might be impersonal, but I also understood if he didn’t want to talk. I was okay with knowing that I made the effort, and I didn’t take it personal when he didn’t answer or return the call. When I felt a presence looming over me, I almost jumped out of my skin. Until his signature scent engulfed me like a warm hug. By the time I turned to face him, he was leaning down and pressing his lips against my ear.
“Let me holla at you for a second.” The bass from his voice sent chills down my spine. In the hot club where we were almost packed like sardines, my goofy ass was trembling all from a man’s voice. And the feel of his lips subtly brushing against my skin.
Thanks to the tequila coursing through my system, I wasn’t even ashamed of the fact that I would have followed that man anywhere. And I do mean anywhere. He led me to a corner of the section that wasn’t littered with people.
“I got your call that night.” While he spoke, I couldn’t help but notice the pain in his eyes. It made me want to give him the biggest hug. His eyes were low but despite him being under the influence, the alcohol or drugs couldn’t mask his true feelings. “I was just on some other shit.”
I gave him a small smile. “You don’t have to explain why you didn’t call back. I get it. I promise I do. I’m glad to see you out.”
Lucci pushed out a light chuckle. “Yeah.” His eyes roamed the length of my frame. As he sized me up, my nipples hardened. “This isn’t where I want to be. I’m trying not to be selfish and stop your fun, but I’d like your company.”
The last time he requested my presence, it was innocent. Even after he told me that he wasn’t in love with his girlfriend, things remained cordial. I had no clue what the situation with his girlfriend was about, but I still didn’t want to disrespect their relationship. Lucci told me he didn’t cheat and so far, he hadn’t tried anything, so I didn’t see the harm in obliging him.
“My homegirl is getting married, and we’re celebrating. But maybe another hour, and we’ll be done.” My tone was hopeful. “Can you wait an hour?”
“I been waiting for you, shawty.” He licked his lips, and I almost had an orgasm. Waiting? Waiting on me to do what? “I’ll text you my address. Matter fact no need. I’m still sharingmy location with you.” He walked off leaving me standing there stumped.
Removing my phone from my clutch, I went to Lucci’s contact information and sure enough, I had his location. “Who the hell was that?!” Rasheeda clutched my arm like a crazy person.
“Um ouch,” I frowned making her loosen her grip on me and giggle.
“My bad, but he was fine. You know I love me a light skin ass man.”
“Like the one you’re marrying,” I gave her a big smile. “He’s just a friend. His name is Lucci.”
“Just a friend? Hoe is you cool? He looks likethat, and he’s just a friend?”
“Welllll,” I drawled. “If I parted my legs for every fine man I saw, I’d be pretty run through. And last I checked, he had a girlfriend. So yeap, just friends.”
