Page 128 of Cruel Revenge
“I don’t kill where I live.”
“We could get on a plane. Go somewhere nice and warm. Kill a tourist on vacation.”
Laughing, I roll on top of him, straddling his hips and looking down. “I love that you’re willing to help me find someone to kill, but you’re supposed to be transporting people in and out of the country, along with copious amounts of drugs. You’re not supposed to be helping me hunt down my next victim.”
He smirks and flips us over. “I’m a man of many talents.”
“And one of them happens to be getting a boner at the most inappropriate times.”
“Your fault. Your tits are out.”
I wriggle my way out from beneath him and stand up, grabbing my knit dress from the floor and pulling it on. “I didn’t think that was going to be an excuse for pawing at me today.”
He props himself up with one arm. “What did you think the excuse was going to be?”
“That it’s Tuesday?”
He smirks and shrugs. “Maybe. Now, what did you actually want to talk about?”
“I was thinking that when we get back to New York next week, we should start trying for a family, but of course, I don’t really know if you want kids, and then I thought about whether or notIwant kids, like actually want them, and then I started going in circles and trying to figure it out, and I still don’t know where to go or what I want.”
His eyes widen, and his mouth drops open before snapping shut.
Oh, God. I’m going to be sick standing here in front of him.
This should’ve been a conversation we had long before now.
“I know people don’t normally get married without talking about having children, but we didn’t do anything the normal way. I mean, we got married without a wedding. Who does that? So, I was thinking, why should this be normal?”
Joshua leaps out of bed and grabs me in a hug.
His lips press against the side of my neck before he starts laughing. “You mean it?”
“You’re excited?” My voice wavers slightly.
I wrap my arms around his shoulders, trying to hold back the wave of emotions crashing over me.
“Do I want to start a family with the woman I love more than anything? Do I want someone else to carry on our family? Have kids that look like you running around?”
“And what if they end up broken like me?” I bite my bottom lip as I lean back to look at him. “We can’t have a kindergartener killing people.”
“Then that’s going to make for some interesting family vacation activities.”
I groan, burying my face in his shoulder. “You’re not funny.”
“On the contrary, I thought that was pretty funny. You’re the one who didn’t see the humor in it, even though you should’ve.”
A million different thoughts circle through my mind.
There are so many different ways we could ruin a child. Ways that I alone could ruin a child.
Maybe it’s selfish of me to want to have one. Maybe I have no business being a mother.
“Whatever is going on in your head right now needs to stop.” His voice is soft as he kisses my temple. “This is a lot, but all the best things always feel horrible at first. Life is going to change, and neither of us have a clue what we’re doing, but it’s going to be good.”
“You’re sure about that?”
“I am.” He sinks his hand into my hair, pulling my head back to look at him. “We’re going to be great parents.”
