Page 11 of All of You
It was a Sunday, and we were sitting in the back row of one of those Church Of Life mega church services just to check it out. I was probably six, and during the sermon some people had begun to close their eyes and hold their hands out and I had tugged mom’s sleeve and whisper asked her if they trying to receive God, to tune in because they looked like old tv antennas the way they held their arms outstretched and twisted and moved. Like they were trying to fine-tune the reception of something. We’d had an apartment with a crappy old tv that we had to adjust the antenna arms just the same way for a single station to come in, and even then it was blurry.
I chuckle. I can’t even picture it honestly. My mom, the free spirit. The wild child. A church antenna person. “I’m sorry. I just…” I snort.
She laughs too, her eyes softening. “It was a long time ago and by your age, I had an entirely different opinion on whatit meant to be Christian. I will tell you this, after being on either side of the fence, I know now that both my opinions were wrong. Neither was the right choice for me and I’m quite content with my spirituality these days.”
“Why didn’t you tell me we had family? Why all this time did you keep it from me?”
Mom comes to me and drops to her knees at my chair. She moves the bowl from my lap to the ground before cradling my face between her hands. “I never expected to come back here. I never thought I’d want to. I didn’t miss my parents, babe. Not a single day since you were born have I thought about my parents. When I saw her name in the paper. Her obituary, I don’t know. Something snapped. A dam opened and no matter how hard I tried to plug it, it persisted and won. It’s been a long time, seventeen years. And when we got on the road I simply followed my gut. For the first time in almost two decades, my instinct was to come home.” She releases my face and falls back on her rear end in the grass. “Now I’m not sure it was the right thing to do.”
“Why?” I ask.
“It’s messed with you. You really scared me last night when you took off. You’ve never left me before. We’re always able to talk about things. And Dad seems beside himself. I can’t tell if he’s happy I’m here, or if he’s sad. Maybe he’s happy to see you and still angry at me. I honestly can’t read him. Never could really.”
I suck in a deep breath. “Well, all we have is time. Maybe you should try a little harder with your dad before you find a job and see if things work out. I mean, he must have missed you a little right? And your mom too?”
Mom instantly begins crying. “I will never get to tell herhow amazing you are. If there was one thing I’d wish for, it’s that she got to meet you. We destroyed our relationship—my parents and I, but I know that she would have loved you.”
I hop out of my chair and wrap my arms around her. “Mom, up until you knew she died, you didn’t even care if she knew me. Stop this nonsense.” I pull away and use my thumbs to wipe away her tears, the way she does for me.
“Delia, baby, just know this…I thought with all my heart and soul that I was doing what was best for me and you.”
“Shut up Mom, you’re being dramatic. We’re here now. I have a grandfather and maybe I’ll even like him.”
“Love you baby girl.” She strokes my hair.
“I’m not a baby. Love you too,” I say smiling at her. I stand up and dust myself off. “We’re not done. I have loads more questions for you, but this crap is emotionally draining. Take me into town and buy me ice cream.”
“Delia, it’s not even eleven yet.” she chides.
I shrug. “It’s hotter than balls out Mom. Ice cream was made for days like today. Come on…. You owe me.”
Mom rolls her eyes and swats at my shin from the ground. “Fine. Let me freshen up.”
Six
Langdon
Iswear to God it’s got to be the hottest day of the year.The church is packed and doesn’t have air conditioning. Too many bodies, arms touching arms, thighs pressed against thighs. Sticky skin and air like molasses. The fucking ceiling fans do nothing to cool the place down. Mom fans her hymn book at her face. It doesn’t stop the bead of sweat forming on her upper lip. Finally, we’re dismissed and I’m off.
“Langdon!” My dad shouts.
I stop mid-stride and spin to face him. “What?”
“Where are you off to?”
I push my hair off my forehead. “Work. Vivianna’s. Remember?” I say.
Mom sidles up to Dad and starts to wrap her arm around his waist before she thinks better of it. Too hot. “Right. Be home in time to clean up and leave for dinner with us though,” Dad says.
“Aye, aye captain,” I say and salute them both.
Niko bumps my shoulder on the way out the door, it’s no less hot outside but the breeze makes it slightly more bearable.
“We’re going to the river today. Wanna ride?” he asks.
My breath puffs out my cheeks while I exhale. “Anderson fucked up Vivianna’s plant, I have to work off the cost. I start today.”
Niko’s chin draws back toward his chest and he scrunches his nose. “I swear man, you have got to stop covering for your asshole little brother. What happens when you graduate and leave for college and your parents are magically left with a kid who is constantly in trouble.”
