Why did I do this alone?
Why didn't I make Della come along?
The idea was there when she was dressing me up like her personal Barbie doll, but I didn't ask. And right then, I wished I had. None of this would have happened if I had someone else with me, Della would have never let me go off to screw some guy I didn't know.
What the fuck did I get myself into?
Who the hell is this guy?
Listening to my heels echo off the buildings, the sound drew me in, filling my ears with white noise. Every step was louder than the next as my heels clicked like a clock inside my brain.
The only other sound around me besides my feet and pulse was the soft and muffled music finding its way out through cracks in the thick brick wall.
I wanted to speak, I wanted to calm him down and let him know I would be on his side. He was threatened, he had no choice. That other man had a gun, and he looked like he had no problem using it.
Was he really threatened? Was that man the bad guy?
There was this moment of question that balled up in my chest. How the hell could I know who the good guy actually was?
This man was as much a stranger to me as the guy he killed.
My lips parted, tongue licking the dry skin so the words would come out easier. “I. . . I know you had to do it. That's all we have to say, that's the truth.”
“I don't give a shit, that doesn't matter,” he snapped, twisting around and holding my arms. His eyes were crazed, filled with so many emotions I could never understand. “Who did you call? Was it the cops?”
I didn't answer, I didn't want to tell him the truth. I was trying to think of something else, something quick and believable so I didn't piss him off anymore than he already was.
Baring his teeth, his lips curled high as he growled, “Answer me.”
Nodding yes, I forced my eyes to the ground, not wanting to see the reaction on his face. I couldn't lie, I couldn't think of one fucking thing to say to him.
The way he said it, the command in his tone and seriousness in his voice, it drove me to speak the truth, to not let my mouth spew false claims of calling a taxi or a friend.
Even if I had come up with the best lie in the world, I still think the way he spoke would have been enough to keep me truthful.
“Then it doesn't matter.” Whipping his head forward, his fingers tightened around my nape. “You're coming with me.”
Digging my heels into the pavement, I tried to force him to stop. “No! Let me go!” screaming as loudly as I could, I reached back and attempted to pry his hand off my neck. “Just let me go!”
I wasn't sure what came over me. Adrenaline had kicked in, the need to survive, and keep going, forged its way to the front of my mind. I wasn't going to go anywhere with him, not now, not ever.
And not with a killer.
I was kicking myself in the ass for even allowing myself to drop my walls and let this man coerce me into the idea of having sex with him.
And knowing he had just killed someone, that he had a weapon of his own, at the mercy for him to use, all I wanted was to be as far away from him as possible.
Fight or flight, it wasn't just a saying, it was a real thing. At first I wanted to flee, I wanted to hide and vanish, pretending that I had never been there at all.
Now, all I wanted to do was fight to get away from him. Even if he was protecting himself and me, he had killed that man, and he didn't even seem phased by it. That was the scariest part of it all, there was no remorse.
He wasn't pulling his hair out, upset that some crazed person had just held a gun to his face. He wasn't spewing statements of regret and sorrow for the man that had just lost his life. He pulled the trigger and stepped around his body without blinking twince.
He's done this before.
I could feel it, I could sense the danger surrounding this man. Everything around me seemed so small and insignificant. I was in the presence of a monster, a man who could kill without thought or feeling.
“That's not happening, not now.”
