My thoughts drift to Reaper. He’s completely emotionless, like a machine. I’ve never even seen him look at the women we watch over, let alone touch one of them. Maybe he’d do a better job of protecting her because he wouldn’t be plagued by thoughts of crawling into bed with her.
“He might be the better option,” I grumble. The words taste sour in my mouth, but the truth isn’t always palatable.
I debate whether I should continue trying to protect Jessica or if I should trust another member of the club with her safety. The decision weighs heavily on me. I struggle with the need to protect her and the knowledge that my emotions might be clouding my judgment.
“Can I be objective, or are my feelings getting in the way?” I stare into the flames as they dance and twist before me. I wish I had the power of divination. Knowing the future would make everything much easier.
As I think back on everything I’ve overcome, my resolve returns. I escaped Blackstone’s dungeon and helped the club become what it is today. Countless men, women, and children have made it to freedom because of me. I’ve singlehandedly taken out more assholes than almost anyone else in the club, except for Reaper, of course. I can do this. I just have to man the fuck up and stop being a pussy.
“Get a grip,” I say, my voice firm and resolute.“Backing out is something a weaker man would do, and I’m not that kind of guy.”
If I can’t keep Jessica safe, then what kind of motorcycle club member am I? I’ve never lost a person I was protecting, and I’m not about to start now. It’s up to me, and no one else, to keep her out of harm’s way. I’m the best man for this job, and I won’t let my dick control me. Hot or not, she deserves better than a horny piece of shit panting after her like a dog. I have to have my head right. No more fantasizing about all the delicious places I could lick her. No more dreaming about making love to her all night long. That’s all got to stop. Now.
My brain immediately takes this as a challenge. As my thoughts drift toward Jessica, asleep in the bedroom, my heart races and my cock goes rock hard. It’s impossible to shake the image of her lying in bed, her body all warm and inviting. I want her—bad. I keep telling myself it’s just a physical thing, that it’ll pass, but damn, if it isn’t hard to keep my hands off her. If we hadn’t kissed, maybe I wouldn’t be so obsessed with her. But we did, and now, I know just how warm and sexy her lips are. I got a small taste, and I want more.
“Stop that shit,” I mutter, trying to regain my focus.“She’s counting on you.”
But my mind refuses to let go of those tantalizing thoughts. I know it’s dangerous to let my emotions rule me like this, but the more I try to resist them, the stronger they become.
“Shit,” I hiss, clenching my fists in frustration.
This isn’t me. I’ve always been able to keep a level head, to separate my personal feelings from my duty. But with Jessica … it’s different. I hate feeling so powerless.
“Focus,” I command.
I need to stay vigilant and not let my desire get the better of me. I force myself to think of something else, anything else, to clear my head.
Blackstone immediately comes to mind. Icy fingers slide down my back as I remember what Reaper said. If Reaper senses something’s not right, then I believe him. We haven’t been able to find a way to stop Blackstone yet, but one day, we will. Someday, Blackstone’s going to pay for the torture he put us through. I’m going to make sure he burns in hell, where he belongs.
As images of the torment we endured flicker through my mind, I push them away. Getting off the couch, I walk to each window. Looking out, I search for any sign of her stalker. The night is still in the wake of the storm, but in my gut, I know another one’s coming. Maybe not tonight, but soon.
We need to find a way to go on the offensive. So far, we’ve been running and hiding. Fighting back would be a much better option, but we don’t know who we’re battling against. Until we gather more information, we won’t know.
I check my phone. Service is still out, so I can’t call Matrix. By now, he’s probably got intel on the owner of the black truck. That information could be very useful. I can’t wait to follow up with him tomorrow. We might have to go back into town to get through to him, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.
As I wander through the cabin, I’m drawn to Jessica’s bedroom door. It’s like a magnetic force is pulling me toward it, but I know I shouldn’t give in. I clench my jaw as my self-control wavers.
“Cut that shit out,” I mutter as I walk over to the door.
I press my hand against the wooden surface. The desire to go inside and comfort her—or maybe do something more—is almost overwhelming. But I can’t. I have a job to do, one that doesn’t involve crossing the one line we’ve got left. I already fucked up by kissing her. Sleeping with her would be the ultimate disaster. I can’t do it …
Only, that’s all I can think about. Her curves, her lips, her—
The door swings open and she jumps back, startled.
“Talon!” She covers her heart with her hand.“You scared the hell out of me.”
“Sorry. I was just, uh …” I look away because I don’t have a good excuse for lurking around like a total creeper.
When my gaze drifts back to her face, I’m shocked by the look in her eyes. Pure, unadulterated desire radiates from them. She’s staring at me like I’m a steak and she’s a hungry lioness. It’s so hot that I involuntarily take a step closer. We’re only a few inches away from each other, but it’s not close enough. I rest my hands on her hips and pull her closer. She tilts her head back and parts her lips as if expecting me to kiss her.
“Couldn’t sleep?” I ask, trying not to undress her with my eyes, but failing miserably.
“No. You?”
“No.”
My brain shuts down completely as lust takes over. I’ve wanted her from the moment we met. Until now, I’ve tried like hell to keep my distance, but why? If she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t be parading around in her panties and t-shirt. She would have locked the door. I didn’t hear a lock click before she opened it, so she wasn’t trying to keep me out. But … does she want me to come in?
