The moment I lock it, I sag against the counter. My mouth tastes like metal as my stomach tightens, as if something’s trying to hollow me out from the inside.
A fine sheen of sweat covers my forehead, and my scent glands burn. I lean in towards the mirror and blink hard.
Are my eyes yellowish or is it a trick of the light?
I turn the shower on hot and let steam fill the room as I undress and step under the spray.It stings. I scrub hard with ascent-control soap: shoulders, neck, thighs, twice over until my skin protests it.
Drying off, I layer on a deodorant and neutral-scented lotion along with my spray. It doesn’t help. Not really. I can still feel the way my body hums. No matter what I do, slick coats my inner thighs. My body’s pushing for a heat, even though I’m chemically trying to force it away.
Reaching for my pill case, I drop four suppressant pills into my palm and chase them down with a handful of water from the tap.
I stare in the mirror; the dark circles under my eyes are only getting worse. My heart races a little as my never-ending headache pulses harder. I’m never able to block it out.
Gripping the counter, I try to stop the tears from coming. I’m reaching my limit of being able to handle this day in and day out for weeks.
Why the fuck did nature do me dirty like this?
I toy with the pendant hanging from my neck. It’s been almost twelve years since they gave it to me. An early birthday gift. That’s not the only thing that came early that year.
11 years ago…
The morning run took more out of me than usual. Normally I have no issue keeping ahead of everyone, but today I feel like I didn’t get any sleep. Even though I went to bed early last night after watching the sunset and making out with the guys, I’m still dragging. It’s sort of our new thing.
Since today is the dance for the older campers, we’re allowed to have an active rest day and aren’t expected to be at any of the challenges. I’m sure a dip in the lake will make me feel like new.
Sweat clings to my back beneath my tank top. I keep pace with the guys, cutting through the woods toward our usual spot by the lake.
We gather by the oak tree so we can strip down to our suits. The plan is to swim all day. We’ve brought sandwiches and snacks from the Mess Hall for lunch, and we’ll head in when it’s time to get ready for the dance tonight. Despite being tired, I’m really excited to go to the dance with them and have fun.
Before I can take off my shirt, Ford clears his throat and I glanceover to find all four of them standing a little stiff and awkwardly. Well, Jace looks like he’s about to vibrate out of his skin, but he always has that level of energy.
Ford steps forward and pulls a square, blue velvet box from behind his back. A small smile pulls at his lips as he holds it out to me.
I frown and glance at all of them before I take it. “What’s this?”
Ford tilts his head. “Open it.”
I lift the lid and it snaps open, revealing a silver oak tree pendant with five stones in the branches. My breath catches as my gaze lands on the ruby in the center. It’s my birthstone.
Ford scratches the back of his neck. “I know it’s cheesy. We were trying to find one with just your birthstone, but they were all mom necklaces or whatever that came with multiple stones. So we figured we’d get one without Mom on it...”
Jace shrugs. “Might as well include ours. That way, you’ll have us with you, even when we’re not around.”
A grin tugs at my lips. “It’s cheesy. But I love it. I’m guessing Ford is the peridot, Logan is the amethyst, Wes is the opal, and Jace is the topaz? My mom is super into birthstones and I swear I have a cousin with a birthday in every month.”
Wes grins as he steps closer. “We had my mom sneak it into her care package.”
Jace runs his hand over his curls and they pop right back up. “It’s your birthday gift. But we’re impatient. So it’s your dance gift, too.”
My fingers shake as I lift the necklace. Ford takes it and moves behind me. His fingers brush the back of my neck as he fastens the clasp. The weight settles against my chest.
I touch the pendant with the tips of my fingers. “It’s so pretty. Thank you.”
My voice hitches as I blink too fast, willing the tears back, but the burn still builds in my eyes. I don’t want to cry in front of them, even if it’s from how touched I feel.
Wes steps in. His fingers brush the side of my face as his thumb strokes beneath my cheekbone. I lean into the contact. Then his mouth finds mine and his warm lips are tender with a quick kiss. He grins. “We’re glad that you love it.”
Jace slides in next. His arms wrap around my waist and he tugs me close. His kiss is light at first, then deepens. Tingles spread across my face and down into my arms. As he pulls away,his minty breath fans across my cheek. His hands stay firm at my waist for a moment before he lets go and glances over his shoulder at Logan with a smile.
