Well. That was fast.
I typed out: “Good! How’s it going?” and then promptly deleted it. I had to ignore my instincts to reply enthusiastically with excessive exclamation points.
I remembered the doms of my past. They’d all reeled me in the same way—they were cold and aloof, making me earn any scraps of affection.
So I played it cool.
Me:
Fine.
Done. Send.
I could feel myself starting to sweat. Being standoffish was so unnatural to me that my pits were crying.
Hopefully, he was sweating, too. He replied back:
DoriNYC:
I like your profile. You’re in the city?
Me:
yes.
I stared at the phone, waiting for his response. Finally, he came back with a message so direct, it took the breath out of my lungs:
DoriNYC:
I want you to fuck me like you hate me.
I signed out of the app, dimmed my phone, and tried to steady the pounding in my heart. What the fuck was that?
I’d gotten creepy messages from men before, sure, bothon this app and on “vanilla” or non-kink dating sites. Men who wanted me to send them dirty pictures or doms who immediately started in withwho’s my good girl?
But tosolicitme? To dominatehim?
I heard Shawn’s voice in my ear:what a freak. What an absolute, fucking freak.
I silenced my notifications. I tried to put it out of my mind, but all night and all the next day, I couldn’t stop thinking about his offer.
Well. Okay. Buuut what if…?
What if I could unleash a little rage, reclaim myself, all with someone whowantedme to be mean to him?
Tipsy, cozy with Spud flopped beside me, I felt primed to make bad decisions. I re-opened the Seekers’ app. I went to my messages, where I’d left him on read. I’d gotten twenty more requests from people searching for a domme, but none of them were as bizarre or interesting asDoriNYC.I muted them. I clicked on his profile and started investigating.
DoriNYC.
Location: New York City
Age: 36
Pronouns: He/him
Seeking: A domme.
His profile image was semi-anonymous. It was a picture of his face from the nose-down. He was a conventionally attractive white boy, so—already—he had a face I’d like to punch. This, I figured, would make it easier for me to slap him and enjoy it. His profile image showed a trimmed, dark beard and a nice smile.
