“Right,” Kyle agreed, but Spencer knew better.
Good luck with that, Mase.
“So,’ Mase began, turning his attention to Spencer. “Tabbi tells us that you’ve been signed on with the Merchant Marine for the past two years.”
Far from being upset that Tabitha had outed him, Spencer relaxed a little now that his whereabouts had been revealed.
“I have,” Spencer agreed, lowering himself to one of the porch stairs. He was close enough to be in the conversation, but far enough away not to get clocked.Andhe didn’t trust those matchstick seats.
“Why?” Mason’s one word was a grunt.
How did he say this diplomatically?Ah, hell.The time for that was over. He needed to jump right in.
“Because I… I needed something that was all my own. A place where I felt I wasn’t riding your coattails.”
“But you liked being a cop,” Kyle snarled. It was clear it would take a lot to bring him around.
“I did. I liked it,” Spencer responded thoughtfully, “but I didn’tloveit. That’s your thing. And I followed in your footsteps because…it seemed like that’s what everybody wanted. I knew from the start that it wasn’t for me, but I went along with it so I wouldn’t make waves.”
“I guess that makes sense,” Mason allowed, “but why did you leave like you did? Without saying a word?” He looked hurt as he said it, and Spencer felt guilty. It was true that he’d only been thinking of himself at the time.
Mason would dig until he got the whole story, so there was no use prevaricating.
“Because I knew you’d try to stop me, and I might have caved. For both of you, the PDs are your life-blood. The SWAT team is your baby.” Spencer looked them both in the eye. “Tell me you wouldn’t have tried to talk me out of leaving.”
“Well, of course we would have,” Kyle snapped with exasperation in his tone. “There’s stability in being a cop. Security. Pensions. There’s no reason to search anyplace else for a position with meaning and staying power,” he scoffed. “Look at you. Two years in the Merchant Marine, and now you’re starting all over again? As what, this time? Will you run off tomorrow and join the circus?”
Wow.Kyle really was bitter about him leaving. Spencer needed to make him appreciate the turmoil he’d been in.
“Listen to me, Kyle. Please. Can you understand that I was never super smart like Mason, or the life of the party, like you? I was just the sixth Sothard brother, and hanging around here, others always judged me by your yardsticks. I knew that joining the Merchant Marine was never going to be a career for me,” Spencer tried to explain, “but it was a place where I could be away from everyone in our tiny sphere, away from all their expectations; a place remote enough where I’d have time to think.”
Kyle didn’t leap from the table and put him in a headlock, so maybe he was getting through.
“I’ve always looked up to both of you,” Spencer added, a lump forming in his throat. “While I was here, I wanted nothing more than to please you. You’re right, Kyle. I could have continued with the police department, earned promotions, ended up with a nice retirement for my older years, but…” He swallowed back the “trapped” emotions he always got when he thought about that. “…I wouldn’t have been happy.”
Should he throw Buck under the bus? Let them know he wasn’t the only one with career questions? Why not?
“Buck is having the same issues,” he revealed. “Everybody expects that he’s career Coast Guard, but I just found out healsofeels like he chose his path, the military, because so many of our brothers did.”
“Wait. You talked to Buck?” Mason leaned forward and his chair creaked dangerously.
“Yeah. We had a, uh, situation at sea yesterday that required back-up. His cutter was close by, and it was his crew that came to our rescue.”
“Rescue?” Now Kyle was engaged in something other than hurt feelings.
That would work.
“How about we tell that story once we have everyone together?” Spencer knew it would be easier to give all the details that way. “Suffice to say that both Tabitha’s life and mine were kind of in danger, and we, uh, bonded over our jeopardy.”
Mason and Kyle both looked shocked.
Kyle’s voice cracked. “So you’re saying that not only did we not know where you were, but you could have died without us being around to save you?” Kyle, clearly inadvertently, made things about himself again.
“You see?” Spencer indicated. “There you go again. I’m a perfectly capable adult. I didn’tneedsaving.”
“But I did,” Tabitha put in. “And I was awfully glad Spencer was there to do it.”
Spencer’s eyes met Tabitha’s and they both gave satisfied nods. She was stroking his ego when he needed it most, and he appreciated it.
