“Is it past its expiration date?”
“Does lube have an expiration date?”
I study him for all of three seconds before deciding this lube could be from the ice age, and I’d still use it. I grab it from his hand, then rub a generous amount on him, then on me. He helps me, too, rubbing my core before entering one finger, then two, spreading the lube everywhere.
“Ready to face UTIs for you. If that’s not…” My words die down when I realize just what I was going to say. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to catch on.
“I’m honored.” The humor in his eyes simmers as he says, “What would make this better for you?”
I think for a moment, never having even considered that before. The penetrative part of sex has always felt more like a practicality to getting pregnant than anything else. It was never particularly good, but I never tried to make it better, either.
“Can we try with you on your back?”
He lies down on the bed without a word, and once I straddle him, he notches himself at my entrance “You’ll tell me if it hurts,” he says, not a question but a command.
“Yes, chef.”
His face softens, his large hands landing on my hips, and the way he watches me makes me feel like I’m worth an entire galaxy.
Slowly, I sink onto him.
To say there’s instant pleasure would be a lie. It stings, and I have to shift, so I can take him deeper. Still, the thought that we’re connected, that a part of his body is inside me, makes me like it.
“Jesus fuck, Cassie,” he hisses, head thrown back and exposing the delicious cords of his neck. I lean forward to kiss them, gasping at the feel of him. “That’s it. Take me the way you need.”
It’s a freedom he’s offering, to experiment so I can take whatIwant, first and foremost. Emotions swell inside me, but now’s not the time to study them.
He kisses me, and I melt. I start moving again, and this time, the fit is better. I’m careful not to go too deep or too fast, protecting myself from cramps that could hit me at any time, and the thing is, Eli doesn’t seem to care one bit. We’re not having wild, back-breaking sex, but he still groans and whispers how good I feel, how gorgeous I look, how crazy I make him. And soon, the feeling of discomfort moves away, and with those small, careful moves, I find pleasure.
He seems to notice the change. My breathing quickens, perspiration slicking my back, and I hold onto him as I keep the same rhythm, a moan escaping me.
“Yeah?” he says against my lips. I close my eyes and nod, and when his finger finds my clit, it becomes almost too much.
“How does it always feel this fucking good with you?”
I don’t know either. It’s as if sex with him is an entire different thing from all I’ve experienced in the past.
I hold on tighter to him, my movements less controlled, the slickness from me and the lube rubbing on my thighs.
I see the restraint in his body, the way every one of his muscles is taut to make sure I remain fully in control. Pressure builds in my stomach, my inner walls clenching against him.
His thrusts get jerkier, and I’m barely riding him anymore, only rubbing myself against him so I can get all the friction I need, and before I can wonder if I’ll actually come from this, the orgasm crashes over me, making me gasp against his exposed throat, my world tilting so I can only taste and smell and feel him. He follows close behind, careful in his movements as he groans and curses in my hair, his body twitching and his hands squeezing so hard it’ll likely leave a bruise, just like he has every time we’ve been together. I can’t get enough of it.
We remain like this for a long time, catching our breaths with my naked chest against his, fingers tangled in each other’s hair.
“Eli?” I ask in a sleepy voice.
“Yeah?”
“I think I might like you.”
He chuckles, then kisses the top of my head. “Yeah. I think I might like you, too.”
Chapter 34
I’m in dopamine overload.
Most mornings this past week, I’ve gone to Keira’s to fill up on baby cuddles. I pretend I come over to let her sleep longer, but I’m simply obsessed with my niece. Sometimes, Xavier wakes up early with us, so I also get my fill of playing with him. I am now an expert in all things cars. He’s gotten used to me being around, and now, he doesn’t bat an eye when I make his breakfast instead of Keira. We’ve come so far from the boy who would barely meet my eye when I arrived. At first, I was afraid he would ask me about his father, but he hasn’t mentioned Rob, probably because he comes over every night to hang with the kids. During that time, Keira grabs dinner with Eli and me. Then, she returns home, and I get Eli in bed, all to myself.
