I swallow. Now or never, I guess.
“I saw Liz today.”
He stops moving, creamy liquid dripping from his whisk. “What? Ho—Did she do anything?” The whisk clangs against the metal bowl.
“She was at my mother’s crochet club thing.”
He stares, speechless. Even though I technically didn’t do anything, he looks hurt.
“It was a coincidence she was there.”
His nose twitches.
“I…” I push the bowl away from him and take his hands in mine so he’s facing me. My thumb rubs over the dent between his thumb and forefinger. “Look, I’m not about to pretend like I know everything about her after one afternoon, but we talked, and she sounded like she’s really changed.”
He pulls away. “You’re right. You don’t know about her after one afternoon.”
I purse my lips, but now that I’ve started, I can’t back down. Not when I actually believe in what I’m saying.
“She made a mistake. Haven’t you ever made one?”
He shakes his head, jaw tight. “Don’t compare me getting shitfaced when I was seventeen to her abandoning her kid.”
“I get where you’re coming from,” I say, voice low like I’m trying to tame a wild horse. “She did fuck up really bad. But ifyou—”
“And honestly, Cass? I’m sorry, but it’s none of your business.”
I jolt like he’s just slapped me. It’s probably what I needed, actually. A stark reminder that I’m not part of their family even if it has sometimes felt like it. But this is about Zoe, not me, so I say, “You’re right, it’s not.”
His face falls like he realizes what he’s just said. That no matter how much he might miss me, this thing isn’t real.
I trudge on. “But I do know how it feels to be abandoned by a parent.” It might not have been the same as what Liz did with Zoe, but every time my father fucked up and chose drinking or fighting over us, I felt a similar sense of abandonment, like my well-being wasn’t worth prioritizing.
“And I know I would’ve given everything for my parents to have fought for me. To realize their mistakes and decide to change. I’d have forgiven my dad all his fuck-ups if he’d said he was sorry and tried to do better.” I press my lips in a thin line, fighting to keep my emotions in check.
I don’t fool Eli, though. Even annoyed, he reaches for my waist and caresses me through my shirt. I meet him halfway and place my hands against his soft, rugged, beautiful face. I take in the cloud of freckles, the scar above his brow, the caramel eyes. All so very familiar.
“Zoe’s the luckiest girl in the world to have a dad who’d move mountains to protect her.” I brush his cheekbones. “But if she can, why not give her the chance to receive even more love than she already has?”
Eli sighs deeply, his mint breath enveloping me, then leans his forehead against mine. The simple touch feels like getting booted up, like we’ve both laid down our weapons. I want us to fight on the same team, always.
“I’m so fucking scared.”
My fingers tangle through his hair. “I know you are. And that’s okay. What’s important is you don’t let that fear stop you from doing what’s best for her.”
“What if Zoe doesn’t want to see her?”
“How about you let her decide for herself?”
A long moment passes before he finally dips his chin once, forehead still against mine. “When did you get so smart?”
“I was always smart. You were just too busy looking at my body to realize it.”
He snickers, then pulls away so he can look at me. “All right. I’ll think about it.”
I hate that I’ve forced him to face a situation he’s tried his hardest to avoid, but it’s beautiful to see him doing it for her. I press closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. No one talks, only the sounds of our breaths between us. It feels like peace.
And that’s when my phone decides to ring. We both reluctantly pull away. I frown when I see my sister’s name on the screen. “Hello?”
