“You better. You’re a good spirit,” Eileen says with a wink before turning and stumbling down the street while leaning against Susan. Gertrude is already waiting in the car, which only leaves Liz.
She was quiet during the evening, laughing softly when Susan made controversial statements with a surprising amount of confidence, and she contributed here and there, but mostly, she kept to herself. Nothing like the woman I saw shouting at Eli outside his house when I first got here.
“Do you need help with cleaning up?” she asks as I close the door behind me.
I go to say no, but when I spot the expectant look in her eyes, I falter. “Sure, thanks.”
I fill the sink with warm, soapy water, then begin washing the decades-old wine glasses and the mismatched cheese plates. Liz picks up a rag and grabs a plate to dry.
“I’m sorry, if I intruded,” she says after we’re halfway done.
“If anyone was intruding, it was me.” I learned throughout the afternoon that Liz has been part of the club ever since she returned to Cape Weston in May. She doesn’t sound like she has many friends around town except for these ladies.
“I’m sorry about that day in the park, too.”
I tip my head down, handing her another clean plate. Appropriate words are hard to find in this situation, but I end up saying, “I can’t imagine anything about this is easy.” She might have left, but she clearly loves her daughter.
“No, it’s not.” She stacks the dry plate on top of the others. “But I’ve had a lot of time to think since I got here. I realize Eli’s doing what he thinks is right.”
My skin crawls at the idea of talking about him when he’s not around, especially with someone he’s in a legal battle with. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and risk messing things up. At least now I know she probably won’t hold Eli and me being friends against him as she also hangs out with a member of my family.
“I’ve been looking for an opportunity to talk to you, actually,” she says.
“Me?”
“I saw the way you were with her, that day in the park. She clearly loves you.” Her throat works. “I’m glad Eli’s girlfriend is good to Zoe.”
“I’m not…” I don’t finish my sentence, because I don’t know how else I’d describe Eli’s and my relationship. We’re so much more than friends, but can I consider myself his girlfriend when it’s only temporary?
“So, anyway, thank you, for taking care of my daughter.” She clears her throat, rubbing at a spot on the wine glass that’s already dry. “I’ve only ever wanted the best for her, you know? It’s why I left. Thought I’d be a shit mom.Wasa shit mom, probably.” She wipes her nose with her forearm. “I was young and didn’t know what I was doing, but there wasn’t a single day where I didn’t miss her like crazy.”
“So, what made you come back now?”
She doesn’t shrug, doesn’t even hesitate when she says, “I’m better. Older. Ready. I think… I think I could be good for her now.”
Sink empty of dishes, I pull the drain out, the sound of rushing water filling the room. “I need to be honest with you. Eli will put up a fight if you want shared custody.” That’s no surprise to her. They already have lawyers involved.
“I know,” she says, still calm. “And that’s normal. I’d do the same, if I were him. But it’s not what I’m asking for. I don’t want anything official. I just want to be allowed to see my daughter.”
Her voice breaks on the last word, and my heart twists. I can’t imagine being in her position. Having a daughter I could see from afar but not approach or hug or talk with. It feels like some of the nightmares I’ve been having, where someone hands me a little bundle of blankets that turns out to be empty when I open it. Except for her, it’s not a dream.
“And if you don’t get to do it?” I ask, not to provoke or discourage her, but because I genuinely want to know. She seems to understand that, too. “Will you leave?”
She shakes her head. “I’ll be here and try again. I don’t have anything else to lose, and I’m not giving up on her. Not again.”
I don’t answer anything, only give her a dip of my head that means everything.
Good answer.
Chapter 31
“Ican’t believe you actually asked him out on a date.”
Emily huffs from her walking pad. “Why would I have waited for him to man up and ask me out when I could do it myself?”
“But during a C-section?”
She shrugs. “It worked, didn’t it?”
