He nods, then looks over my shoulder at Ruth’s house, which is technically the real reason I’m here. Not to escape my life for the summer.
“I really am sorry for your loss. She was a great woman. Even at the end, she always had a smile for me when I’d bring her dinner or stop by.”
My jaw slackens. I wasn’t here for my own grandmother, didn’t even know she was ill, while he was there, taking care of her in ways I should have. It almost seems like I should be the one offering condolences. I might have loved her more than words could express, but if his deep sigh tells me anything, it’s that he probably was closer to her than I was, in the end.
“Thank you for doing that for her,” is the only thing I find to say.
“Daddy, look!”
We both turn toward Zoe, who’s holding what looks like a caterpillar between her small fingers like it’s a prized possession.
“That’s great, sweetie. Just release it in the grass now, okay?”
She does, giving it what looks like a kiss before leaving it on the ground. I both melt and shudder at the sight.
“She’s adorable.”
“She’s something all right,” he answers, grinning.
I haven’t seen yesterday’s woman back around here, and it’s still not clear to me who she was, or if Eli has someone in his life. Earlier, Zoe said her mom wasn’t around, but that could have meant she was at work.
“I’m surprised she took so well to you,” Eli says. “She doesn’t speak much to anyone but me and sometimes Keira.”
“Maybe she thought I was her.”
He looks at me then, from head to toe, then shakes his head. “You were never as similar as you thought.”
My sister is gorgeous. Always has been, with her high cheekbones and heavy curves, and before, when we’d get compared, I always knew people meant I was the lesser, more ordinary-looking of the two. However, the way Eli says it, it doesn’t sound like an insult. It never has.
He clears his throat when I’ve been staring at him for too long, making me snap out of it. It’s just so strange, seeing this man who used to be a boy after all these years and realizing how much I’ve missed him. It’s different than it is with my sister, who I still heard about through Mom. I don’t know anything about the past years of Eli’s life, and I crave to know everything I missed about theperson I used to consider my best friend. I want to know how he met Zoe’s mother, what happened between them, when he decided he wanted to become a father, what he’s still doing in the house next door. But the distance is also what keeps me silent. We’re not the teenagers we were, and I don’t have the right to ask all this anymore.
“Daddy, come!” Zoe shouts, the sound breaking the trance of the moment.
“Duty calls,” Eli says, taking a slow step back. “But it was, uh… It was good to see you again, Cassie.”
Disappointment fills me as it sounds like a goodbye.It was nice seeing you, let’s do it again in another eleven years, yeah?
“You too,” I say, hoping my smile remains steady.
He looks at me for a second longer before nodding and turning toward his daughter in a jog. I remain in place, watching the way his body has become sculpted, trying to fill my head to the brim before I only have memories to keep me company.
Before I can stop myself, I take a step forward and say, “I’ll see you around?”
A wave of nausea rolls over me as he turns, not answering right away. This feels like being in PE and waiting to see whether you’ll be the last or second-to-last to be picked in the handball team in front of the entire class. After an interminable moment, he dips his head. “Yeah, I guess you will.”
Not sure whether that sounded like a good thing to him, but I have a month to figure it out.
Chapter 4
Iarrive at the lawyer’s office first.
Yesterday, after I reached out to Keira to ask her where she wanted to meet, she only texted me the address. Nothing else.
A heat wave is starting, and the stuffy, coastal air feels suffocating, even at ten in the morning. I’m wearing jeans and a T-shirt, but I’m already regretting my choice of clothes. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to wear to this kind of legal meeting, but with what I’d packed for the trip, my options were limited.
The office is located on the main street in town, which is bustling with families walking to the beach with chairs strapped to their backs and buggies with lunchboxes and towels behind them. To my left, a group of three children are squealing at a gull that’s gotten close enough to steal a potato chip from their hands. One’s barely old enough to stand on wobbly legs. I look away.
A minute later, Keira parks her truck right in front of me. She’s wearing beige slacks and a pressed blouse that hugs the curve of her round belly. I didn’t think to consider it the last time I saw her, but now, I’d say she looks to be around the beginning of her third trimester.
