“So, what you’re saying is they don’t care if some banshee gets killed?” Laney looked ready to rage.
“He took personal property and used it to bring forth a demigod who was banished by the Demigod Corporation,” I said. “It’s pretty straightforward. He can’t really get out of that, but Caroline’s death will be seen as an accident.”
“Collateral damage?” Laney scoffed.
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Laney said.
I turned to her, gripping her shoulders with my hands. “You have to understand. The DGC is the DGC. They follow rules and regulations and they’re not going to change that in a hurry at all. The only problem is if the DGC get any hints we’re trying to find Caroline an Undirheim, they’re not going to take too kindly to it either.”
I looked down and saw the tears welling in Laney’s eyes. My heart clenched. I felt exactly the same way like I was brokenhearted, and I would never be made whole again. There was something definitely wrong, but being around Laney made me feel good. I felt drawn to her. Drawn to the pain she was feeling, drawn to the angst in her expression, drawn to the suffering in her heart. I knew exactly what it was like because every inch of her experience was also mine. It might’ve been a very sad thing to share, but it was what we had in common, the two of us drawn together and bound together by our love for Caroline.
“We will find her.” I nodded with affirmation. We would most definitely find her. I leaned forward, not sure exactly what I was intending. My lips landed on Laney’s forehead. Laney looked up at me, her eyes wide in surprise. She looked up at me, wiping tears from her eyes.
Startled, I took a step back. We stared at each other awkwardly unsure of what to do next.
“We’ll do it together,” Laney said. “You know she always loved you.”
“Yes,” I said. “Come on. We need to be going back,”
I was nervous being alone with Laney all of a sudden. It was as if we were too intimate and too close and too connected. I suddenly felt like there was something between us that shouldn’t be there, it was a combination of a memory of Caroline and attraction between us and I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one bit.
“Come, let’s go back.” I insisted, turning my back and walking away from her.
Chapter 7
LANEY
I ran straight to my room when we got back to the command center. I shut the door and stood momentarily in the silence, leaning against it. Ryder and I had had a moment. My heart was racing. Even after the walk we had taken back, I could still feel the heat of his body next to mine and the touch of his hand. This guy was the love of Caroline’s life, my best friend’s true love, and I’d had a moment with him.
I hated myself for it. I closed my eyes. I ground my teeth together hard. It shouldn’t be like this. Caroline shouldn’t be dead and Ryder definitely should not be having a moment with me. The worst thing was is I wanted it so bad. I wanted a moment with him. It was like being close to Caroline again. It was like having her alive somehow. It was hard to sort my thoughts out well enough to keep track of them, but being around Ryder was almost like being around Caroline. Still, it didn’t mean I should start making out with him.
No. Never.
Thank God that had not happened.
I sucked in a deep breath. I had to keep this under control.
There must be some reason for it. Some sort of grief bonding thing where you start obsessing over your best friend’s widower. I needed to look that up. It had to be a thing. It had to be what was happening between Ryder and me, because that walk was not just like any walk.
The fact he was Magnus’ brother didn’t help. It just complicated matters because what if I was on the rebound from Magnus, who turned out to be such a complete douche? I could never possibly ever be with him ever again? So now I was single and on the rebound. I took a deep breath and pushed myself off the front door, opening my eyes and heading straight to the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and washed my hands, inhaling the sweet, clean fresh scent of the soap. I looked in the mirror, my eyes wide.
“You are not going to screw this up,” I said out loud to myself.
Not only was Ryder the closest thing I had to Caroline now, but in this new supernatural world, he was the closest thing I had to protection and figuring out what was going on. So, there was no way I could lose having him in my life right now and the best way to do that would be to sleep with him. I gritted my teeth harder.
I wasn’t even going to think about it.
I was going to go and find a plan to get into Undirheim, and the other thing I needed to do was figure out how to tap into my fire fly powers.
That was it.
This is what I had to focus on.
I stare in the mirror and tear started welling in my eyes. I couldn’t stop. I needed my friend. I needed Caroline. I needed Magnus. I needed my boyfriend. What I did not need was Ryder. I mean, I needed him but I just, I didn’t know how to deal with the stress and the thoughts. My heart was such a churning mass of different flavors. I had no idea what to do. I had to do something. I had to help out. I had to be part of the team, and I had to try to find Caroline. I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing down my face. And the sad reality was of all the people here in this command center, the only one I felt comfortable enough to show my tears two would be Ryder. And that wasn’t going to happen. The last thing he needed was to see me this vulnerable.
I splashed more cold water on my face and patted my eyes dry. They were still bright red, but there was no shame in crying when your best friend had died, and you had just broken up with your boyfriend. I had to steel myself for stepping out of my room and going out to where everybody else was. As much as I wanted to sit in the corner and research fire flies or some sort of attachment theory on why I was having these crazy wicked heart palpitations for Ryder. I mean, I knew he was hot. He’s always been hot. I’d always joked about bagging him, but not now.
Oh my God, not now.
