“No, he’s a monster,” Ratchet said. “I’m a demon. There’s a big difference, emphasis on the big.” He gave a wink to Laney.
“Would you two knock it off,” I insisted. “When was the last time you spoke with Caroline?”
“I’m flying out here to see her. I don’t understand what you mean when you say he’s a monster and you’re a demon.” Laney pointed out.
“There are monsters after Caroline. If they get a hold of her before we can protect her, she’s going to die. You can’t stop monsters,” I said.
“Yet you are a monster,” she countered, crossing her arms and looking pointedly at me.
“I’m the God of Monsters,” I explained. “I’m not like regular monsters.”
“He’s the demigod of monsters.” Ratchet corrected me as he always did. “His dad is Typhon, his mother, well, she was made immortal by his father, but she’s human. Or I guess she was before he made her immortal.”
“If you’re the demigod of monsters,” Laney said in shock. “Why can’t you just control the monsters and have them do your bidding and have them stop trying to attack her?”
“That’s the problem,” Ratchet shrugged.
“We don’t know where the monsters are coming from that are attacking her,” I said. “Monsters tend to be mindless creatures who are simply here to destroy humans. If one’s going after Caroline they’re going after some rings of mine and if they’re going after the rings, they want to open the rifts across the world and let the monsters reign free on Earth. At least that’s the most we can figure.”
Laney took a deep breath and stared mindfully at both of us.
“So, let me just get this straight,” she said. “You’re a monster.” She pointed at me. “You’re a demon.” She looked over at Ratchet. “My best friend is about to be killed by a bunch of monsters who want to take over the planet, but you don’t know where these monsters are or what they’re doing and in fact you don’t even know where my best friend is? That’s the landscape?”
“That’s about the size of it,” I said, realizing how hopeless the whole situation sounded.
“This is crazy, you realize that, right?” Laney said.
“I guess it sounds kind of crazy for a human mind,” Ratchet shrugged.
“Are you saying you think I can’t handle this?” Laney countered, putting her hands on her hips as she stared Ratchet down.
“I’m just saying I know it could be a lot to take in.” Ratchet attempted to soothe her.
“It’s not much,” Laney said. “I mean, come on, we’ve all seen Game of Thrones. A woman walks through fire and has baby dragons. It’s not like this is crazy,” she said. “I mean okay, I’m kind of lying, it’s completely insane. Have you guys considered being admitted to a mental hospital?” She looked back-and-forth from one to the other of us.
Ratchet and I exchanged a look.
“This is not going exactly how I planned,” I muttered.
“What did you think was going to happen? She was going to welcome us with open arms and be like ‘hey, how can I solve this problem with you?’” Rachet asked. “It’s kind of a lot to take in.”
“I can handle it,” Laney said, pointing her finger at him. “I can handle this just fine.”
“Then tell us where she is,” I suggested.
“I don’t know where she is,” Laney replied. “I mean, I know she’s in Alameda, but I don’t know exactly where in Alameda she is. I’ve got the phone number of where we can reach her.”
“Then let’s go,” I stated. “Give me the number,”
“Okay. Hold on right there. How do I know you guys are on the good people side?” Laney asked. “I mean I get you’re telling me you are, and I know Caroline is in love with you, but that isn’t actual proof. It doesn’t mean you’re the good guy. It just means you’re some guy my best friend is in love with. As much as I love her, you know love is blind, especially when hormones are involved.”
“She’s in love with me?” I asked, the words flying from my mouth in shock.
“What are you, an idiot?” Laney smirked. “Of course, she’s in love with you. Why do you think she’s put her vagina on hold for the last three years?”
Ratchet started laughing. “Vagina on hold. Seriously, that’s how you talk about your best friend’s sex life?”
“My best friend doesn’t have a sex life,” Laney countered, “because she’s holding out for this guy. Who apparently is a monster, though I probably could’ve told you that in the first place.”
