I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “No. Honestly, so much has happened. I kind of feel like we’re past all that.”
“Good. That’s good. Then what is it?”
“No one has romantically said they love me before, and this…it doesn’t feel right for some reason.”
“I’m sorry it doesn’t feel right,” he says. “But I can absolutely assure you that it’s real. I know that becauseI’venever said it romantically to someone before. You’re the first.”
“You’ve never said it before?”
“No. Never.”
I hold on to him a tighter in the quiet darkness for some reason. Let’s not examine why. “Okay.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
SATURDAY
With the extra help for watches, Dean is able to get to work on the solar power situation with no distractions. And Trisha is skilled at electricals and lends a hand. Only a couple of houses in town have solar panels installed. They’re able to get the ones on our designated storage building back up and working. It makes for a perfect space to monitor our new security cameras. Hopefully they’ll also allow us to run a fridge in future. Making sure the town security upgrade works comes first, though. Then they change out the fried battery at our place. Our solar panels will be used to power walkie-talkies and such for now.
I spend the day helping with the last great push to deal with our dead. And the job is as sad and awful as you’d imagine. By the end of the day, every muscle in me hurts and I am never getting the scent of rotting bodies out of my head. But with the extra hands, we’re able to commit the rest of our dead to the ground. This feels like a strange thing to celebrate. However, at the end of the world, you have to take your wins where you can. And this includes the living now outnumbering the dead above ground in Wolf Creek.
Natalia does some bird-watching and math with the children in the morning. Honey the German shepherd escorts them around town. Then they run around chasing each other for a while before watching more movies in the afternoon. Somewhere between these two activities, Bowie finds a skateboard and promptly falls off same. Meaning Avan has his first patient and Bowie gets a cut on his elbow glued back together.
We gather in the bed-and-breakfast at night. Their living room is still big enough for all of us and the fireplace is epic. The curtains are drawn since we’re still being security conscious. Canned chicken and vegetables with ramen is for dinner. Wyatt and Jack seem enamored of our bountiful supply of liquor. Same goes for the lack of a legal drinking age. But after a shot of bourbon, Trisha gives them a look and there’s no more of that. They’re good boys at heart, even if their egos and mouths are as wide as the nearest ocean.
George and Leon are manning the security/supplies command center. They wanted to check out which angles were and weren’t covered by the cameras. What changes might be needed. There was talk of taking turns, with one of them at the monitors while the other went outside and stood in various positions. Then they’d discuss it all via walkie-talkie. It’s the kind of testing our system needs, no doubt.
We’re seated on a sofa watching the children slowly run out of steam. Hazel and Sophie are busy teaching Bowie how to make friendship bracelets in a corner of the room. The boy sits so he can keep an eye on Nash the entire time. He apparently seemed okay spending the day without him, however. Small steps.
“He needs a family,” says Nash, sitting on a stool with his back to the flames. “People who’ll be gentle with him, you know? He’s been through enough, watching everybody die and then getting pushed around by Porter and his men. You guys are busy with Sophie. But someone’s going to turn up who’ll be right for the job.”
Dean thinks it over. “He seems happy with you. Are you sure you don’t want to hang around?”
“That’s not me. Families and communities and stuff like that.”
“I didn’t come from a good background either,” says Dean. “My childhood was a fucking horror story. But you seem to be doing okay with all of this so far.”
Nash’s expression is constantly set to blank, like he has to keep his emotions locked down. And he has this deep rumble of a voice. “I get that you’re happy as a pig in shit with your woman and your daughter. But me living like this…”
“Let me put it another way,” says Dean, as easy as can be. “You really think there’s only one asshole like Porter out there? That boy is going to need you for a long time to come. I get that it can be terrifying having people counting on you. Needing to show up for them when you’re not sure you can. But all he’s asking is that you try. And whether you do or not could very well be the difference between life or death for him.”
The way Nash’s lips flatline. He is not happy. Not about any of this.
“Sophie just yawned so wide I could see her tonsils,” I say, sensing it might be time to end the conversation. “We should get her home to bed.”
Dean rises and offers me his hand. We say our good nights and gather our child and head on out. I didn’t see Dean becoming such great parent material. Being a girl dad. What he said about showing up is the simple truth, however. He just keeps on keeping on. I hate how he was hurt as a child. The thought honestly makes me stabby.
He catches me giving him side-eye and says, “I’m okay.”
“You’d tell me if you weren’t, right?”
“Yeah. I’d tell you.”
“If you ever want to talk about your childhood and things like that, I’m here, okay?”
“One day I’ll tell you all about growing up in foster care. Being smacked around and the cigarettes burns and everything,” he says. “But right now, being here with you and Soph, I am easilythe happiest I’ve ever been. I honestly never knew life could be anything like this. And I just want to enjoy that for a while and not dwell in the past, you know?”
“Makes sense.”
