Page 26 of The Moments You Miss
Dad towers over me as he coaches me once again on what to do. Shame fills my stomach as I can’t help but feel special when he’s talking to me like this. His voice is a little lower and I swear, a little softer as he mimes how to cut and to hold my chest up high with pride. I shouldn’t like this—but this also shouldn’t be the only sort of love I feel from him.
“I’ll be back, he better be fucking dead when I get back,” he commands. I swallow hard as I nod. I can’t let him down— if I don’t do this, he’s gonna hurt me again.He always hurts me.
I take a breath and step back into the room, clutching the weapon. But, I stop dead in my tracks as soon as the door is closed behind me. The red-haired little girl stands there next to her dead-eyed father.
She… she killed him.
Her little hands stand there shaking, with one of dad’s knives in her hand. She stands there in shock as I walk over to her taking the knife out of her hand. “Go… Y-you need to go!” I whisper yell at the little girl. She’s not listening to me, and I dig deep to find the sort of command that my dad always has. “Did you fucking hear me, kid?!GO!”
She probably has no idea what she’s done— she seems to be in shock, as there’s nothing on her face as her body trembles like she’s cold. I grab her arm and shove her in the closet and tell her to stay put.
She will truly never know what she’s done for me today. She saved me from my first kill, something I’m not ready for. Even though she’s littler than me and seems to be terrified, she’s stronger than me. Maybe stronger than I’ll ever be.
But for her, I’ll learn to be strong. I’ll have to, to protect her from my bastard of a father.
I quickly place my hand around the handle of dad’s knife and slice it across the man’s neck again, so that he’ll believe me.
Maybe this once things will be different. What was so bad that she killed himherself?
The memories of that night hit me like a semi-truck. My body shakes with a rage that I probably shouldn’t be feeling. I can’t let her figure this out. I never thought it would be so soon for us to takethistrip down memory lane. I have to get to her. I have to run to her, I have to fix this. She is mine to protect. Her terrified words hit me again as they echo in my mind: “Don’t even think about lying to me.”
I’m already driving to her apartment; I had headed that way even before she had called. I had planned to make her dinner, if she would even let me in after what happened in the rage room. But fuck the steaks in my passenger seat. This is… huge. This is now way more than a PTSD fuck up that needed a lifetime of perfect behavior to make up for.
In that moment I decide on what I have to do, she will always be mine to protect, and my answer will be her reason for being okay again. We can explore her past together, but my answer isn’t a total lie, but it’s not the whole truth either.
“Yes.”
The answer falls on deaf ears as I step out of my car into the empty back parking lot of her apartment.
Part Two
Chapter 20
Please, Please, Please
Leyla
My head is fuckingthrobbing.
It’s dark and it’s clear that I’m tied up from the rough material around my wrists and lack of mobility I now have. I groan as I try to wiggle my hands, trying to get out of the tight restraints. I can’t see much of anything, but it seems like I’m in some sort of storage unit from the tall gray walls and echoey sounds that you only hear in places like this. I crane my neck trying to see if there’s anything, any sort of window or anything that could give me any ideas as to where I am.
Nothing. Can anyone hear me? The thoughts come racing through my mind, and the tears burning behind my eyes, there’s no chance of me getting out of this this time. I already escaped death once in my life and I feel like my quota has been met. My head hangs low as tears fall down my cheeks, a sob wracks my body. Ishoot up when I hear the clanging of a key. I close my eyes as light assaults them. I turn away to get out of the line of it.
“Well, well, well,” a modulated voice emerges from the darkness that once again covers the room. My hands constantly move as I attempt to get out of the restraints that are holding me down. “You think you’re so clever, and so fucking smart. Yet, clearly you need a little reminder of who you are.”
I squint my eyes in the hope that I’ll be able to see something, when suddenly a masked man is standing in front of me, the look in his eyes unhinged and dangerous. I don’t know what to do. If I could just get my hands untied, then I can grab the knife that I know I tucked away in my pocket, the damn restraints just aren’t budging.
My heart is beating out of my chest, but I don’t let my face portray anything. “It’s pretty pathetic that you think you have to tie me up to talk to me.”
The portrait of calm settles over me, as I keep moving my wrists, feeling the rope start to give ever so slightly. I don’t know how I’m managing to keep my shit together so well. Maybe because there’s nothing else for me now but my life.
It’s Cameron, it has to be. But I’ll play dumb, I’ll play his stupid little game. The figure stalks around me and I know he’s stalling. I don’t quite know where this unfettered courage comes from, especially since I’m in no position to be testing the waters.
“Come on, Cameron. Really— this some sort of fucked up fantasy for you? You gonna kill me too?” I watch the figure’s posture stiffen as he whirls to me.
“Cameron? FUCKING CAMERON CURTIS?!”the voice speaks above the voice modulator, the distortion pitching andbreaking as it attempts to keep up. “You’re so fucking in love with that man, but he doesn’t deserve you! He’sneverdeserved you!“ the man screams out as he rips off his mask.
The crazed look in his eye as he storms towards me has pinned me in place, my mind not processing anything anymore. As if those eyes have CTRL+ALT+DEL and ends any task that attempts to load in my brain.
