Cam brings me little gifts, whether it’s my favorite candy, or a new book from the bookstore. It’s the little things that add up that make me feel like I’m the luckiest girl in the world. My mind wanders as I’m sitting at the cafe working on my assignments for the week. I’m trying to get ahead of the workload because Cam said he’s got a little trip planned for us this weekend. I can’t wait.
I laugh to myself quietly thinking about the message that Cameron sent me earlier today and roll my eyes because of what alovesick fool this man is. I click back to my assignment when I feel my phone vibrate. It’s Detective Alexandra. I take a deep breath and answer it.
“Hey, Detective,” I say, a soft smile on my face, my heart racing slightly when I talk to her because I never know if it’s a good or bad call. “Everything okay?”
A deeper laugh on the other end loosens my nerves, “How many times have I told you to call me Alex?”
I let out a laugh and shrug, knowing full well she can’t see me. “I know, I know. I feel like I can’t do that with you, it’s out of respect!” I run my hand through my hair and laugh softly. “What’s going on Alex? Any news? What’s going on with the Program? Is it about my parent’s case?” The questions spew out of me like actual vomit, uncontrollable and messy. She sighs softly.
The line sits quiet for a moment and that charged feeling settles into me again, but it’s quickly broken by Detective Alexandra’s voice. “We haven’t had any updates on your folks’ case, but I did want you to know they do think The Whispering Killer is possibly active again. We don’t have anything concrete on it, but the M.O. is the same. And while you know I can’t tell you everything, as it’s an ongoing investigation, just stay alert. Okay, dear? I worry about you being back in town alone.”
A small smile creeps onto my face when I know it shouldn’t be. Calm settles over me knowing that maybe working so closely with Alex lets me realize that, I probably shouldn’t be worrying so much, I’m working so closely with one of the best women in law enforcement.
“Well aboutthat,” I say, bringing focus to her closing statement. Talking about boys is definitely favorable to talkingabout a killer.Thekiller. At least it’ll put her mind at ease, and I desperately want to hold onto the high Cameron’s had me on. “I’m actually, well, I’m kinda seeing someone. You had a bit of a… play in our relationship.”
The silence on the other end of the phone makes me nervous, my fingers start playing with the hem of my shirt, rubbing it is a bit of comfort. But when Alexandra speaks, you can hear the smile in her voice. She giggles, too. “I always knew you two would end up together!”
We talk on the phone for another twenty minutes. I tell her all about Cameron, how even though it’s only been three weeks, he pays attention and is attentive to all my needs. He buys me little things that remind him of me and things that he thinks I would like. “He’s really fantastic! Cameron really is such a good guy, and I’m really glad to have reconnected with him. He really makes Maplewood feel like home again, makes me feel safe.” I sigh dreamily just thinking about him when the air changes again around me.
“I’m so happy for you, gorgeous girl. I’m glad things are going well for you. Maybe moving home from Chicago was just what you needed.” There’s an intonation in her voice that I really should pay more attention to, but I ignore it as I try to keep my focus on the conversation. Now more than ever, though, I feel the need to end this call.
I look around anxiously but there’s no one in the cafe so I shake it off and go to end the call as nonchalantly as I can. Something feels wrong, and it’s a feeling that since coming home has been happening more often and I can’t help but feel like something bad is happening around me.
“Yea, it really was. Well, I’ve gotta get back to my schoolwork, but maybe if you’re free at all we can meet up for dinner? We can talk soon?” I blunder out, hoping it doesn’t sound too forced.
“Of course, beautiful girl. I’d love to catch up soon— not program related. You tell that boy he best be treating you right, or he’s got to face the wrath of me.” Alexandra chuckles, but I smile anyway, knowing that though she’s trying to come off as she’s joking, she’s also not in the same sentence. “Stay healthy, love. We’ll talk soon.” We finally hang up, and I let out a breath that feels as if I’ve not been taking full inhales all day.
I look at the time, it’s only 2:30 P.M. I’m not meeting up with Cameron until 7 P.M., so I focus back on my assignments as best I can. I put my headphones back on my head and blast some Noah Kahan, to help calm my nerves, which are definitely still on high alert. But, also, I can’t help but feel better when listening to him.
A few hours pass and I’m working, minding my own business, when a shadow covers me. A chill rolls through my body— there’s someone sitting at the table with me. A taller man, he’s around my age, black hair, and pitch-colored eyes, like they’re soulless. He smiles at me. There’s something unsettling about the smile, but I return a nervous smile trying to be polite.
“Well, I’ll be damned. I had heard that you came home, but I had to see it with my own eyes.” The man adjusts his black rimmed glasses, which look like they’re a size too big for his face. I tilt my head at him in confusion, moving my headphones to rest around my neck.
“I have come home, yeah, but I can’t say that I know who you are… Am I supposed to?” The tone of my voice is distant and cold; I don’t exactly make a habit of being cozy with complete strangers. But I guess he’s not, according to him. I look at him, really look at him, hoping these random puzzle pieces will fit into place as to who the fuck this man is.
“Well, haha, I would hope you’d remember me! It’s Simon– Simon Maher– we used to go to group together. We were friends!” He looks at me as if those words are supposed to make everything fall into place when I’m only more and more confused. In group, I never really had many friends except for Hazel, and later on in time, Cameron. I haven’t the slightest idea who he is.
My smile is more of a grimace, I feel slightly bad when I look back at Simon. “I’m so sorry, I can’t say that I remember you. But I’m sure we did know each other! You stuck around Maplewood?” I force out, trying to be polite, but I get an uncomfortable feeling wafting off of him.
“Aww, you should know who I am! Honestly, I’m hurt you don’t remember me. I’m actually back in town to help out with this new Group Outreach Program. Detective Alexandra asked me to help out.”
I can’t quite tell if he is feigning fake hurt to be lighthearted, or if he is actually upset about it. I watch as Simon pulls out his phone and pulls up a group photo of the kids from the group I had gone to. Front and center is Cameron. Standing next to him was a kid with dirty blonde hair. Simon points to him, “That’s me! I’ve just… grown up a bit.”
How the hell am I supposed to bring up the fact he was somehow expecting me to remember someone who I had met in passing so many years ago?
This is quite likely the most awkward conversation of my life, but looking over the photo, little snippets of my childhood come flashing back to me. I begin to slowly remember bits and pieces of him; he was friends with Cameron, and… maybe the guy’s name was Spencer? No– Ryan. I do remember him, I look up at Simon and a softer smile sits on my face now.
“Oh my gosh, I do remember you! What a small world, I’m helping with Detective Alex’s program too. And so is Cameron. Oh you know, I’m actually hanging out with Cameron later today!” I say with a little pep in my voice, a genuine smile forming on my face as I look at Simon, who’s body tenses up. “We should all plan a day to hang out and catch up soon.” Literally thinking of Cameron makes these ridiculous butterflies come up at the worst moments. I shake my head, and look back up at Simon who hasn’t moved or said a word.
He looks at me and puts on a smile again. “Yea, that’d be nice. I should go.” Without another word, Simon gets up from the table and walks out of the cafe. I sit there staring at the door for a moment trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. The whole interaction had been…bizarre.
I take a deep breath and immediately start packing up my things to leave. I still don’t quite know what just happened, but I want to go home and wholly do not want to be around people anymore.
Tonight’s quiet date with Cameroncannot come soon enough.
Leyla: God, what a weird fucking day. I cannot WAIT to see you tonight. You’ll never guess who I just ran into!!!!!!!
The message goes unread for a while, which is a little unlike Cameron, but I’m sure it’s nothing. He’s probably just working and can’t get to his phone. The interaction with Simon has my mind running a mile a minute and I honestly feel like I’m just a little more on edge than normal. Maybe this is just how it is when I think a little too hard on childhood, like Simon just forced me to do. So much for all the work I’ve been doing in therapy.
