The man holding Sarah cleared his throat and whispered something in Alek’s ear, and then Alek nodded. He turned and carried Sarah out of the office. I shook my head at the audacity of Nikolai King and followed Alek’s man out of the club. Once we were outside, he helped get her in the car and then handed the driver some cash.
“This should more than cover where she needs to go. You can keep the change.” Alek’s man, whoever he was, reminded me of a younger Owen. He had to have a military or law enforcement background. It was in the way he carried himself. I instantly felt at ease and smiled at him.
“Thank you.”
“No problem. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Ms. Taylor.”
After a few hours in the ER, I got Sarah and her badly sprained ankle home. I tried not to think about Alek as I rode to my own house. After locking the door behind me, I kicked off my heels. The carpet was soft under my bare feet as I walked into my bedroom and drew to a stop when I caught sight of my reflection.
Before removing my dress, I gazed into the mirror, touching the skin where the choker had been. I’d stumbled upon it one night while researching and had to have it. The reflection staring back at me held a myriad of emotions—curiosity, empowerment, and an odd sense of safety.
It was a choiceI’dmade; even though I’d left the choker with Aleksandr, the symbolism still held weight for me. A symbol of surrender and control and, in some strange way, resilience. It made me realize that some parts of my time in captivity didn’t hold power over me anymore.
With a steadying breath, I allowed the weight of my journey to fade, replaced by the realization that I held the power to shape my narrative. I also knew enough about myself to know tonight was going to be tough. I quickly disrobed and crawled under my covers.
I allowed the nightmares in; it was easier if I almost conjured it up instead of it sneaking up on me. I could console myself with the knowledge that the rescue would come just a few short days later. Despite how much I dreaded it, I drifted off to sleep and took in the bird’s-eye view, so to speak, as a foolish ten-year-old girl once more stepped out of line.
There were four of us in captivity. I was Spring, and only a few weeks into my season, I’d committed the grievous sin of talking to one of the other seasons. Our walls were paper thin, and Autumn had been crying all night. I’d tried to comfort her by asking her what her favorite song was.
When she didn’t answer, I sang for her anyway. It seemed to help as she stopped crying, which made me feel bold. I’d asked her what her real name was. She never told me, but the Mask overheard me giving her mine. I should have learned my lesson by then, but I hadn’t. I was too hard-headed.
Usually, privileges were withheld if we misbehaved during our own season, but this time was different. My body shook, lost in the nightmare. I once again dreamed about the Gorean slave whip, its sound, and the searing pain.
The memories played out, and my mind tried to process what happened after I was whipped that day.
Chapter 16
Kinsley
Desperate Times and All
Ihad no idea how much time had passed after being beaten, but when I regained consciousness, I jerked. The ground was cold and hard.
I’d never longed for death more than in that moment. Okay, that wasn’t true. There was another time I practically begged God to take my soul. But I hurt from the top of my shoulders all the way down my back and legs. Three sets of small feet stood near me, and I knew they were witnessing my shame.
The cold had seeped into my body, so I must have been lying there for a long time. I couldn’t move, and I panicked. My brain signals didn’t seem to function. It was like when I was taken. Tears burned down my cheeks.
I passed out once more, and the next time I awoke, it was to the soft feel of my bed. I was lying on my tummy, the pain still radiating down my back in waves. A sob escaped me when I heard his voice once more.
“Good, you’re awake. X is going to tend to your wounds. You have two days. Your audience awaits you.”
The girl he called X removed the gag and held up a glass of water for me to drink from. I sucked on the straw, my throat incredibly dry. Pulling the cup away, she shook her head no. She wouldn’t talk to me even though she could.
It was forbidden, at least with us. Her eyes told me to go slow as she brought the cup back toward me. I often wondered who she was, how she got here, and why they scarred her face. It was as if they heated a metal half mask and tied it on, branding her. It was healed now, but the first time I saw her, it was raw and red.
She helped me walk to the bathroom and then had to assist me with the toilet. She gently used a soft cloth to clean my back. Tenderly, she put some ointment on the cuts. I lay there crying, hating every part of my life. Her eyes filled with tears, and I wondered once more who she was and how she got to be here. After she finished, she covered me with a sheet, and my eyes drifted closed.
I woke with a start, and once again, I felt the crushing pain of having lost Summer, Autumn, and Winter. That first morning after being rescued, Owen told me that the girls were on their way home to their families. The pain of not being able to say goodbye lingered in my heart, even after all these years.
I often thought about them and what they might be doing. Would they be in some performing arts school? Have boyfriends or girlfriends? Did they ever think about me? I walked over to my dresser and picked up one of my bears.
As I hugged it, I smiled. I was entirely too old for stuffed animals, and I knew that, but these were special. Closing my eyes, I pulled the sweet memory up in my head. It was June 20, the first day of summer, and my first one without the girls. Having set time by the season for two years, I was always, even to this day, deeply aware of the first day of each season.
Owen made me pancakes like usual, and I pushed them around on my plate, having no appetite.
“What is it?” He had gotten good at reading my signals. One of the things I loved most about him. He knew when to push and when to back off.
“It’s the first day of summer,” I whispered, looking up at him, and he knew.
