“The budget’s pretty tight.”
“Ooh, how’s that fundraiser calendar thing going? Isn’t that going to raise some funds for the station?” He’d told her all about it in their frequent phone calls, perhaps a bit too much about a certain photographer. “How’s that cute photographer doing? What’s his name again? Lewis? Lance?” She knew his name. Ryder had mentioned it often enough.
He mock-glared at her. “Lucas, which you know perfectly well. That money’s mostly going to the shelter to take care of the animals. We might get enough to upgrade some equipment, but not for a new salary.”
Emma, who’d been focusing on her dinner, perked up at the mention of the animal shelter. “Uncle Ryder. Mom and Dad said if I get an A in science, I can get a pet. Either a cat or a bearded dragon.”
“Cat… please choose a cat,” Brooke muttered with a shudder.
“Mom, bearded dragons aren’t snakes.” When Brooke just shivered dramatically again, Emma rolled her eyes. “I’m leaning toward a cat. They’re more cuddly and won’t have to stay in a cage. Well,” she added, tipping her head to the side, “bearded dragons can run around outside a cage too. They’re the friendliest lizards. You can pet them and everything.”
Ryder tried not to laugh at his sister’s horrified expression. They filled the rest of dinner and dessert with conversation and laughs like always, and he didn’t bring up the pet conversation again until Emma headed off for her shower before bedtime.
They put away the leftovers and washed the dishes together. “You know the shelter’s always looking for forever homes for the cats they have there. There’s a really sweet fluffy orange one…Here, let me show you.” He pulled out his phone and scrolled to the pictures of him and the other first responders playing and posing with the animals. Lucas had sent tons of them over the past couple of weeks.
Brook scrolled through the pictures, smiling at the adorable and silly animals interacting with their human friends. “This is the shelter your not-boyfriend works at?”
A warm flush crept up his neck and took over his cheeks, hopefully hidden by his beard. Ryder scratched a hand over the back of his neck. “He’s a photographer. He’s taking pictures for the calendar as a volunteer.”
His sister gave him a look.
“He does freelance work and teaches at the community college.”
The look intensified. “Yes, I remember you told me all that. All the times you talked about him. Lucas this and Lucas that.” She folded her arms and leaned a hip against the counter.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” he said at last, and the words echoed dully inside him. One hand rose to rub absentmindedly at his chest. “We’re… seeing each other. Sort of.”
She grinned and gave him a quick one-armed hug. “That’s great. Ryder. Do you think maybe boyfriends in the future? We’d love to someday meet someone, you know.”
Shrugging, he poured himself a glass of water and headed for the couch in the next room. He didn’t talk about his hookups with his sister, of course, but she was a romantic at heart. Even Craig reminded him he was always welcome to bring a date to dinner or the monthly cookouts in the summer. “He’s sweet, funny, and really smart. More than he gives himself credit for.”
“But?” When he didn’t answer right away, her lips twisted. “Bad breath? An excessive action figure collection?” She lowered her voice and leaned in. “Wants you to shave your beard and mustache off?”
He gasped and put a broad palm over his facial hair. He’d been growing it for over a decade and couldn’t even imagine what he’d look like without it. Then he sobered again. “He deserves more time than I can give him. I’m always one call away from running out. What guy would want to put up with that?”
Brooke propped her knee up on the couch and turned to fully face him. “What woman would put up with a husband who was away four days out of seven?”
Squeezing her hand, he shook his head. His sister and her husband were so in love, but dealing with a spouse there only half the time couldn’t be easy. He’d listened to her fears and doubts, but he listened to her dedication and belief in their mutual commitment, too. It worked, and he had no doubt his brother-in-law was good and faithful to her.
“It’s hard to think too far ahead. I’m not afraid of commitment, Brooke. This isn’t some angsty anti-love thing. I want…” He rubbed his neck again. “I want forever someday, you know? Something steady that I can count on. Maybe with Lucas. When I’m with him, I want to be there one hundred percent. And I want to give him more.”
“You give what you have to give, Ryder. That’s all any of us can. And if it’s not good enough…” Her voice trailed off as she hit him with the look he swore she’d learned from their mom. Maybe it was something all mothers learned naturally.
They sat in silence for a bit until Emma returned with her science project, a detailed diorama and poster with neat charts of pets vs. allergy statistics and samples of animal hair and fur. She really was smarter than any eight-year-old should be. Ryder told her so, shared a few of the shelter pictures, and then sent her off to bed with a hug. He kissed his sister on the forehead and headed out into the frigid night.
The drive home was quiet as he wound down the country roads through the kind of dark that only existed outside town.Halfway there, his phone buzzed on the center console. Lucas’s name popped up.
He fought the urge to check the text. He’d seen far too many horrible outcomes of distracted driving, and he wasn’t putting himself, his car, or anyone else in danger. His foot eased down on the accelerator a bit more, however, and he took the steps two at a time on the way into his place once he got there.
Lucas:This one wouldn’t stay still for a second, but I finally got her looking at the camera. She’s basically a cloud with eyes.
The pictures showed a super fluffy white cat standing on a blue cloth and staring up at what was probably a dangling toy just out of the camera frame.
Ryder:Cute. My niece would probably fall in love. She wants a cat or a bearded dragon, but my sis probably isn’t going to allow anything scaly if she can help it.
Lucas:They’re cute as far as lizards go but…
He attached another photo of three little gray tabbies sitting in a basket together.
