My ‘boyfriend’? Do Hex and I really look like we are together? Giddiness invades my chest, mixing in with guilt as my face stretches into a smile I can’t shut down. Excitement courses through my veins, encouraging my heart’s sudden sprint. Shit. This is bad. I need to focus, not get distracted because someone called us boyfriends.
Making sure the woman is occupied tending to Hex, I thank the heavens she left the storage room unlocked and jog over to it, slipping inside. Fortunately, it doesn’t take me long to find what I am looking for, allowing me to escape before she can figure out what I have done.
Hex and I meet up outside after a while. He’s limping as he thanks the receptionist and heads to the bench I’ve occupied.
“See, I told you it would work,” he says, flopping down with a grin.
“This was the easy part,” I say, nerves twisting my stomach as I pin my gaze on the darkening sky and sea.
If I was doing this on my own, I wouldn’t be so on edge. Yes, things could still go wrong, but it would be just my life that I put in danger. With Hex here, that makes the two of us. Just entertaining the scenario of him getting hurt because of me makes me want to wrap him in my arms, steal one of the lifeboats and leave this dangerous cruise, mission be damned. He’s not a professional, he’s never done anything like this. Behind a computer, he’s an unmatched genius and a pro, but this is different.
This is my domain and not his.
Despite it all, I like having him by my side like this. As a partner. My heart beats twice as fast as it normally does, my stomach feels queasy. I feel younger too, like I can do anything and everything so long as Hex keeps smiling.
“Hey, Aran?”
Slowly, I turn his way and meet his expressive brown eyes. Specks of golden light swim in them, pretty and magical. The ring piercing gracing his right nostril glints softly, adding that lovely rebellious edge which makes him all the more charming. He really could’ve been an actor, or a singer or a dancer. The audience would’ve loved him.
“Hm?”
“You were saying something and then just went quiet.” He places his palm across my forehead and the other one across his own, then smiles in relief. “Phew, no fever. Am I stressing you out too much? I’m sorry. Just tell me what to do to make it better and I will, I promise,” he rushes out, slanting those cute eyebrows at me.
I grab his wrist and bring the back of his hand to my lips, ghosting a feather-light kiss across his bony knuckles. He sucks in air, as if he’d been about to say something but got cut off by my action, and his eyes go wide.
“You always stress me out, Tien.” I hold his hand between us, and massage his palm with my thumb. “And that will never change, no matter what you do.”
He frowns, his expression clouding with confusion. Tilting his head to the side as I let go of his hand, he squints at me like he’s trying to solve a puzzle, and then lets out a heavy exhale. He’s on his feet a heartbeat later, absentmindedly rubbing the hand I was just holding as he places it flat against his chest.
“Don’t you want it to change?” he asks me, his voice small.
Don’t I? Wouldn’t my life be easier if I didn’t have to watch over him? If I could go home to a partner and relax instead of worrying if he’s eaten dinner? Or if he’s hacked into somewhere he shouldn’t and made enemies who don’t intend to let it slide?
He scowls after a few moments of us just staring at each other, regret tensing his delicate features. My fingers itch to smooth out the worry from his forehead, to calm him down so he smiles at me again.
Before I can think better of it, I hop up from the bench and step into his personal space, tipping his chin up. Those soul-stealing eyes of his drink me in like he’s seeing me for the first time, like he can’t believe I am standing in front of him.
I want to kiss him. It’s not the first time, but it’s also different from any other time I had wished that. It’s deeper and darker. It consumes me down to my soul, to the marrow of my bones, to every fiber of my being. My blood moves for him, my eyes see only him, my heart beats just for him.
Saengtien Thanan is—and has been, for as long as I can remember—my everything.
I just wasn’t ready to accept that, maybe still aren’t. But…
“No.”
He pouts his mouth, chewing on his bottom lip. My free hand cradles his cheek, warmth seeping into me through my fingers. It touches my every cell, igniting a wildfire inside me which I don’t want to stop.
Which Ican’tstop.
Because I don’t want to fight this thing between us anymore.
15
Hex
Arankissesme.He’sslow, thorough. He kisses me like we have no worry in the world because the entire universe revolves around us and this kiss.
His lips descend to mine slowly, gently, as if to give him time to snap out of it at the last moment.
