I’ve seen the strength in her eyes. The sheer determination of will.
She might not possess physical prowess, but she is certainly someone who shouldn’t be underestimated.
It’s one thing for me to understand her, but the way she watches me now as if she's trying to figure me out, is not something I can abide by.
"Don't tempt me," I hiss at her as I storm by her dark cell.
"Wouldn't dream of it," she mutters, voice heavy with derision.
Thereis no kowtowing her. She isn't perturbed or dissuaded by the usual sorts of threats. And yet, she'd begged for death rather than enter the Hunt. Why? As much as I can relate to her pain, to her desire to make the endless misery stop, I don't think I fully understand its source. It's deeper than the usual misery of life. If it wasn't, she'd be begging for death now still, or she likely would've brought it about herself long ago.
No, it's something beyond just the Hunt that made her falter, but what?
It's foolish to dwell on it. What is she but one more human who will soon face her death, and then none of her secrets will carry any meaning any longer.
I stride forward, my head down as I try to focus on anything other than the pressure of her eyes tracking my every movement.
The walk back to the throne room is laborious, but only because I make it so. Being in my father's company is not exactly at the top of my list of ways I'd like to spend my afternoon, and more than once I contemplate retreating to my quarters and disappearing for the rest of the day.
Caz talks me out of it when I run the option by him through the blood oath.
“Then what do you say we endure my father’s company together? Just like old times.”
“Tempting, but I think I’ll sit this one out,” he says. “I’ll join you for drowning your sorrows later though, if you’d like?”
I don’t have time to respond before I come upon the grand double doors of the throne room. With a fortifying breath, I shove them ajar.
"Pathetic," my father is grumbling inside, his thumbs rubbing his temples as the last of the prisoners are taken away from him to be returned to their cells.
It appears I’ve missed most of the showing. I’m supposed to feel guilty, but I can’t bring myself to feel even a hint of shame when all I can think about is that maybe this means I don’t have to stomach his company for much longer. In fact, I can duck out with the rest of them now and pretend I was never even here.
Unfortunately, the king catches sight of me before I can.
"Ah. How nice of you to join us.” With a sweeping of his arms, he gestures me forward.
For a moment, I consider leaving still anyway. That was the last group of prisoners he needed to see today, all of the others having been assessed and given their diets already, and if we’re done with the prisoners then my royal obligations here are finished as well.
Then I think of my aunt and the treason I’m going to commit in a few days.
It might be best to stay on his good side until I’m free of him forever.
I continue down the crimson runner until I meet the base of the stair where I await further instructions.
He looks at me with weary eyes. “Not a single child among them?"
I scoff. I can’t believe him. He hasn’t uttered one word of praise or gratitude for the haul me and my team brought him.
Realizing there’s no way I can survive this conversation sober, I go for another glass of wine.
"Excuse me if humans aren't exactly repopulating the realm right now. I'm not sure many of them see the point of bearing children when they're being slaughtered by the hundreds every day."
He glares at me. "You speak as if you're on their side."
I make him wait for my response, savoring each pull of the cabernet as it slides down my throat. Food might've lost its appeal to my kind, but at least wine remains as decadent as I imagine strawberries or chocolate might be.
When my glass is empty, I consider returning it to the table. Knowing how much it will grind against my father's nerves to see me down another drink though makes me decide to pour another.
"I'm not on their side,” I tell him, bringing the full glass at eye-height and twirling its ruby contents so he can see. “It's about survival. If we deplete them as a resource, if they die out, where do you think that leaves us?"
