Over time, my status as future Alpha seemed to create a chasm between me and my peers. All of them painfully aware that I’d be their leader one day, and eventually, I had no choice but to accept it.
Glancing over my shoulder, Noah is only a few feet behind me, kicking up dust from the ground with every step. Noah has been a lifeline to me in a lot of ways. He’s one of the few people with whom there’s never any pretence. Sarcastic, arrogant and closed off, though he is, he’s my best friend. With no intention to ever become our pack witch—or any pack witch, for that matter—we’ve always been able to remain equals.
We’re both sweating from the dry morning heat when we reach the top. The view steals the breath from my lungs. With not even a whisp of cloud in the sky, you can see for miles—mountain ranges and rock formations the colours of a winter sunset.
Noah wanders off to take some photos, and I perch on a large rock, retrieving a bottle of water and Mum’s diary from my rucksack.
Dear Sean
I decided to write this one to you instead of me. I’ll show you this when I get home. I suppose home will be somewhere different soon?
I’m writing this at the top of Turtlehead Mountain in Red Rock Canyon, Nevada. We waited until early evening to do this so we could watch the sunset at the top. The way the last rays of the day bounce off the burnt orange rocks makes it look like they’re glowing. I wish you could see this. I’ve taken a photograph, but I’m scared to use up all of my film before the end of the trip, so fingers crossed it’s a good one. If it’s not, I guess we’ll just have to come here together one day?
I’m feeling homesick this week. And I’m feeling scared. It’s like I'm on this giant precipice, like in a year’s time, my life will be unrecognisable from what it is now.
I set myself a challenge to do something that scares me in every state we visit. I think I’m just preparing myself for my scariest and biggest adventure still to come—diving off the deep end with you.
This trip is amazing, but I can’t deny missing you something awful. I wish I could call and hear your voice; you’d tell me to stop being silly and make the most of my travels.
I thought I was homesick for Ireland, but I think I could be anywhere in the world, and a hug from you would make it disappear.
I love you,
Your Cara x
When Da gave me this diary, and I’d finished reading it, I asked him if he wanted me to tear this entry out for him to keep. His eyes filled with unshed tears when he told me he could recite every word. He said when she first got back and showed it to him, he asked her to read it aloud. He said sometimes he still falls asleep replaying the moment, her voice as clear as day in his dreams.
I quickly wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. A swell of anger hits me at how unjust it is that she’s gone, swiftly washed away by the wave of grief that always follows, stealing the air from my lungs.
Noah returns from where he’d wandered off to and silently squeezes the back of my neck. When I get my shit back together and stand up, he presses a small vial into my hand.
“What’s this?” I ask, eyeing the little glass tube, which appears to be filled with… orange dirt?
“A bit of crumbled rock from the path.”
“Why do I have it in a tiny jar?”
Noah shuffles his feet and looks from side to side as though he’s suddenly embarrassed.“I just thought… you could keep it. A moment you got to share with your mum that doesn’t belong to anyone else.”
I eye the contents again and have to take a deep breath to stave off the tears now threatening to return.
“I’m gonna give you a hug now,” I warn him.
“Ugh. Make it quick.” Noah has never been one for much physical affection, and I’ve had to learn to keep my wolf impulses to myself around him. However, on occasion, he’ll accept a hug as long as it’s kept brief.
I squeeze him tightly in my arms, whispering, “Thank you.”
“Yeah, yeah, now get off me, you big oaf; I can’t breathe,” he gasps dramatically. I chuckle and slap him on the back twice before letting go.
“Really though, Thank you.”
“Can you stop bein’ so sincere? It’s makin’ me feel unwell.”
Laughing, I mime zipping my lips shut before we make our way back down the trail.
Chapter Five
Yosemite National Park, CA
