A large basketof apples awaited Nat when they got home. He froze in the kitchen doorway, entranced by the bright red fruits.
“It’s for you,” Duke murmured, slipping his hand around Nat to rub his belly. “Did I get enough?”
“I think that might be too much,” Nat said dazedly. He brought the entire basket to the sink and began washing the apples.
As a raccoon, Wanda chittered as she clung to Nat’s shoulder, her little tail flicking.
Nat laughed. “You want one too, huh?”
He placed her on the counter and gave her an apple to wash; she dunked it happily into a plastic bowl of water.
“Aww, she’s so cute,” Mallie cooed.
“You guys want to wash apples, too?” Nat offered. “You can have some to eat if you help.”
“Yeah!” Teddy and Mallie crowded next to him, eagerly dunking apples into large bowls of water.
“You’re all perfect,” Duke growled, looking over Nat’s shoulder.
“That means it’s time for a pickup line, isn’t it?” Hubrie chirped. “What Cart helped me pick one!”
NatfeltDuke’s grimace. “How did it even choose a pickup line?”
“By rolling into a page when I flipped the book!” Hubrie cleared his throat.
Duke seemed to panic. He tried to cover Mallie and Teddy’s ears.
“My dearest love cucumber, our love is so strong that it can suck down everything like a giant black hole. It can suck the cork out of a wine bottle! It can suck the fillings from your teeth! It can suck the toilet off the floor!”
The kids broke into helpless giggles.
“Ew!” Teddy said. “That’s gross.”
“Very gross,” Mallie agreed.
“It is,” Nat whimpered.
Duke turned and frowned severely at Hubrie. “What the f—What the Hell was that?”
Hubrie beamed placidly. “Relationship goals.”
Mallie howled with laughter, tears streaming down her cheeks. “You want to have poop in your relationship? There will be poop everywhere if you pull the toilet off the floor!”
Nat covered his face and whined. “How did we end up like this?”
“We arenotmoving the toilet,” Duke said firmly. He untangled himself from Nat and shoved Hubrie bodily out of the kitchen. “Out!”
“Maybe we should talk about the surprise,” Nat said desperately.
“Yes, the surprise,” Duke said just as desperately. “Mallie and Teddy, sit at the table, please.”
They dried off their hands and brought along an apple each. Duke sat down with them. Nat stood with Wanda at the sink; this wasn’t about him.
“Mallie and Teddy,” Duke began solemnly, looking them in the eye. “You’ve brightened my days ever since I brought you home four years ago.”
Mallie stiffened. “You’re not about to kick us out, right?”
Teddy made a soft, scared sound.
