I searched her eyes, or the one that wasn’t covered by the ice bag. Was it bewilderment? If so, I could work with that.
“When I’m angry or frustrated, I tend to bake. Seeing what he did to you—” I took a deep breath and pried my fingers loose from the fist they formed of their own accord. “I was very angry and very frustrated, hence the calzones.”
“Oh my God.” Haylee hid her face in her hands—well, what wasn’t already hidden by the bag of peas, that is. “Shoot me!”
“It’s okay, Haylee. Or well, it isn’t, really. Fuck.” I groaned, covering her hand with mine and trying to pull it away from her face to get her to look at me. She didn’t budge, so I wrapped my arms around her instead. “What I mean is, it doesn’t change anything for me.”
“Is that why you’ve been so forbearing?”
“Forbear—Haylee, I would’ve waited for you whether I knew it or not. I saw how you reacted to my teasing. I felt your heartbeat and heard your raspy breathing. I might’ve not understood why, but I would not have pressured you, either.”
She was still not looking at me.
“I’m sorry about the way I found out. I’m not sorry that I know. It doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”
Several more stops passed by, and Haylee didn’t say a word. She had shut down completely, barely registering that we were on the subway to begin with. I resigned to staying quiet, as well. When our stop came, I coaxed her gently to her feet and helped her off the carriage. I kept my arm around her as we approached the apartment building, avoiding the stupid traffic as best we could. Haylee wasn’t paying attention to it at all; it was up to me to get us safely inside.
I didn’t even bother pushing the button for my own floor when we reached the elevator. She might not argue with me, but it was clear she would rather go home than to my place. We rode up in complete silence.
Once behind their door, I looked at Haylee, but she didn’t make a move to get her keys, so I knocked instead. Of all of the times I’d stood here waiting for the door to be opened, this one must’ve been the worst of all. Not nervous. Not jittery. Scared for my heart—that was more like it. Scared for Haylee’s, too.
I’d screwed up already before today. I just kept screwing up.
The door opened to Glen in a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. “Why are you knocking when you have the key?” she asked before taking a proper look at us. Her tone changed immediately after that. “Hallie! What happened?”
She pulled us across the threshold and sat us down on the vintage couch.
“My bag is still at Turtle Bay,” Haylee muttered, and I cursed myself. I hadn’t even checked if she had everything when I rushed her out of the place.
“That would be my fault. I will go get it for you.” I stood to do just that, but Glen pushed me back on the couch.
“Nay, you’re going to tell me what the hell happened.”
I settled down, pulling Haylee into my arms. She didn’t resist. Much. I breathed in the scent of her, mixed with still very prominent beer. We needed a shower. I couldn’t quite convince my brain that us having it together would never happen before I imagined just that.
“Jay happened,” I said softly. “And then I mopped the floor with him and his camera-wielding friends. I didn’t even see Haylee get hit. Which one was it, Red Cheeks?”
She melted into my embrace and pressed her unharmed cheek against my shoulder. She trusted me enough to relax. That was good. That was better than nothing.
“The one throwing things off the table,” she murmured.
“Shit.”
“It was the candle.”
I tightened my arms around her and dropped my face in her hair. “I should’ve stopped him before he got to that.”
“You had four more to worry about.”
“Two were already taken care of at that point. Plus the one with the broken nose. I should have got to him before he hit you.”
“It’s not your fault.”
It felt like my fault. My failure. “I’m sorry,” I said again. It was either that or “I love you.” I had them both on repeat at this point.
“Let me get this straight,” Glen said, seating herself on the coffee table in front of us. “You were at Turtle Bay with Jay the arsehole and his friends, and now they are what? Black-eyed and bleeding?”
“They were filming Haylee. I could not let them go,” I admitted.
