“I’ll be ridiculous all day long if it makes you laugh, Haylee. It makes me happy, remember?”
Staying in the moment
“DANCING!” I BLURTEDon?a Sunday evening after cooking with Luke and his family on the other side of the world. He’d even made his own chocolate custard, and I was avoiding the fact that he had purposefully smeared some across his jaw.
I was becoming rather familiar with Luke’s kitchen. And his living room. Even ventured to his bathroom once or twice and found it as clean and organised as the rest of his flat. The one room I hadn’t seen yet was his bedroom, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to ask for an invitation.
Instead of leaning over and licking the chocolate off Luke’s chin, I came up with an answer to a question he’d asked a few days ago. Even though he had cooked for me every evening since, we still hadn’t kissed. He’d given me many opportunities to initiate something myself, as shown by the dripping chocolate custard on his chin, but I was too chickenshit to do anything about it.
Avoidance, my best friend, here we are.
He raised his eyebrow, not moving to wipe the brown splotch away either. “I’ve heard that word before. It’s when your body moves to the beat. I hear you’re pretty good at it, but you’ve yet to show me how good.”
I laughed. “It’s something that makes me happy,” I disclosed. “Remember you asked?”
“Aah. I see. And it took you this long to figure it out?” Luke teased. “Maybe you do need some refreshing. Why don’t you show me just how happy it makes you?”
I’d danced in front of an audience before. Plenty of times. This felt different somehow. Luke’s undivided attention on me, as I took centre stage right there in the middle of his living room, was so much more different than my students studying my moves or a crowd at a performance. Dancing just for him was intimate in a way dancing hadn’t been in a long while. I was opening myself up to him better than any words ever could.
The song from his speakers changed, and he increased the volume as I stood there, listening to the beat with my eyes closed. Everything else faded, it was just me and the beat, with Luke somewhere in the kitchen watching. I swayed to the melody, and timed my steps to the beat. The music took over. I barely even registered what my hands were doing or the movement of my feet. Me and the music, we were becoming one for the duration of the dance. It was always freeing to become something bigger than myself. I wouldn’t be able to explain it if I tried.
The song stopped, and another one came on, but I didn’t even pause. I’d been hiding from this freedom for days. It eased all worries, made me feel as gorgeous as Luke kept saying I was. It made me think I was worth it.
Worth the attention. Worth the trouble. Worth being loved.
When I danced, I could see it so clearly. I could relay all of it with a series of steps and fluid movements. A choreography that was born in the moment and was meant for Luke’s eyes only.
I searched the kitchen, but he no longer stood by the island. He’d left? How long had I been dancing? Slowing my steps, I whipped my head around the room, catching a sight of him just before I collided with his chest. His arms came around my back to steady me, but I stumbled awkwardly anyway.
I stood frozen in place until Luke began swaying us gently to the melody that still played through the rush of blood in my ears. His hands stayed firmly around my back, and mine were awkwardly trapped between our bodies. I couldn’t even shake my hips in fear I’d rub against something I wasn’t supposed to. He was that close.
“You are so incredibly beautiful, Haylee, and you have no idea,” Luke whispered into my ear as if sharing a secret. “Stunning.”
I swallowed. “Not cute, though. That’s good. You’re learning.”
Luke chuckled. “Cute is reserved for Hello Kitty and girls in cat-patterned PJ’s. I thought you knew that.”
