“I’m not just saying that, Red Cheeks. I’m not trying to flatter you, nor get you to bed with me. I wish you could—”
“You’re not?”
“—see what I see when I look at you. And I have been looking at you all night, Haylee. You are absolutely stunning, and there is not a thing that needs changing. Not a thing, do you hear me?”
Her lower lip disappeared into her mouth, and she remained quiet. I’d already said enough to leave no doubts about the way I viewed her. Surely, she’d realize I wasn’t playing around?
“And yes, I wouldn’t say no, if you wanted to—” I cleared my throat. “Frankly, I’ve been thinking about it the entire week, but sex is not my end goal. It either happens or it doesn’t, I just want to spend time with you because I really like you.”
Everything was out on the table now. My heart thrummed in my ears and the earlier fuzziness I’d felt faded. Now alert, I waited for her response.
Slowly, Haylee raised her eyes from her hands. I gave her time to study me, gave her time to digest my words. It felt like forever, seconds dragging by as we stayed still and the air thickened, poking and nudging at the playfulness that had previously occupied the space.
“I want to believe you,” she finally said.
It didn’t take long after my confession for Haylee to realize how late it was getting. Drixie, who had fallen asleep on my couch, narrowed her eyes on Haylee when she picked her up but settled in her arms regardless. I walked her two floors up to her door, and we stood there in that slight awkwardness that tends to carry into the end of a first date.
“I hope you had a good time, because I really did,” I said, fidgeting my keys around in my pocket.
Haylee nodded. “I did.”
“Despite my lame jokes and teasing?”
“Yes.” She laughed. I loved the sound of it.
“Despite—”
“Yes, Luke.” She laughed again.
“Good. Feel free to invite yourself over any time.”
When I took a step closer, she tensed, yet her chin raised up in expectation. I breathed in the scent of her, something sweet and enchanting, and raised my hand to push a stray curl behind her ear. It was as soft as I’d imagined.
Haylee’s breathing quickened, her eyes falling closed even as a slight tremble went through her. I threaded my hand deeper into her curls and pulled her forehead to my lips. An audible sigh escaped her as the tension in her shoulders released. One of her arms came up around me while the other continued to cradle a rather annoyed Drixie, as I lingered for much longer than I intended.
“Good night, gorgeous.” My voice came out raspy.
She tilted her head to look at me, her lips almost brushing my chin. “Good night, Luke.”
I smoothed her hair, enjoying the feel of it against my palm before I took a step back and away from her gentle embrace. She leaned towards me as if to keep me from moving. Her lips parted, and her eyes reflected a mix of disappointment and relief that I hadn’t actually kissed her. I had half a mind to trap her between my body and her front door to do just that and find out if she would reciprocate or push me away.
I’m falling in love with you.
I escaped the hallway before that left my lips.
?
My forehead pressed against the cool metal of my front door once I’d closed it behind me. The deep breaths that were meant to calm my frantic heart did nothing of the sort, as my brain kept running in circles around everything I said or almost said or didn’t quite say at all. I was moving fast, coming on too strong. Way too obsessed, already.
Haylee was moving at a different pace. I needed to slow down for her. I needed to stop blurting out everything I was thinking and give her time to figure out how she was feeling and what she wanted—if she even liked me the same way and what her expectations were. I only had a month, though. Just one more month. I had to let her know I was leaving, not that I was becoming crazy about her. It wasn’t fair to reel her in and then go.
I slammed my palm against the door.Fuck!
Deep breaths. I had to keep my cool. I had to go and bake something for the sake of getting my shit together. I could figure this thing out, long distance was a thing, right? Not a favorable thing, but if this was meant to be, we could make it work. I was jumping way ahead of myself again. I was in over my head. I wanted to head back up to her apartment and give her head. Wait no. Well, yes, but also no.
I wanted to hear her say that she was feeling the connection the way I was. That there could be more to whatever this thing was. That it wasn’t just wishful thinking. That I wasn’t imagining things, and we could—we could what? Live happily ever after?Porco Dio,as if that was in the cards for me.
I dragged myself away from the front door and into the kitchen. Our plates still scattered the bar, and when I slid my hand across the stool she’d sat on, it was still warm to the touch. Insane as I was, I lowered my face to the seat and inhaled the leathery scent of it. Her perfect bottom had perched here just a moment ago. Right here. It didn’t require much of an imagination to picture her in front of me, flushed but ready. Oh so ready.
