“Yeah, sure.” Luke’s voice came out raspy and slightly flat. “That could be fun.”
“Brilliant!” Glen’s exclamation sounded just as forced, far from her usual enthusiasm.
“Okay,” Luke nodded, regaining some of his composure. “We’ll do that. How about we follow the same recipe to make it fair for you. And I’ll show you which ingredients I’ll use. First off, tomatoes.”
He started moving away from the aisle we met and towards vegetables, talking about tomatoes like they were something magical when it came to proper pasta. As if he hadn’t been turned down and offered a sloppy deal in return. I had to pull myself together, too, and act like everything was divine. This was my doing after all, and Glen just tried to make the best of it.
“I was just going to use canned sauce.” The words scratched my throat on the way out.
If Luke noticed, he didn’t mention it. “Insane! We’ll be using fresh tomatoes, you’ll never want to look at the canned stuff again once you’ve tasted it.”
His ease got me to relax my shoulders, and some of the tension in my chest loosened. “I’ll take your word for it. Lead the way to the freshest goods, why don’t you.”
I was relieved to see a smile gracing Luke’s lips. “This way, ladies. Our haul is waiting.”
“Why didn’t you sayyes?” Glen reprimanded me when we were safely out of the lift and behind our front door where Luke—who’d taken my rejection surprisingly gracefully—couldn’t hear us.
Surprisingly? No, nothing about him should surprise me. He was perfect in every way, as far as I could see. And I was an idiot.
“I panicked.”
“I saw that. Hallie, you’ve got to get over it. Men like Luke—Luca—are not easy to come by. He is gorgeous, kind, funny, and patient. I’d take him, if he’d have me, but he is really into you. Don’t mess it up!”
“I know! Don’t you think I know that?” I wiped angrily at my wet cheeks, hating how unstable I was acting. The rest of the shopping trip had been really nice, and I’d almost forgotten about my failure until we’d been in the lift going up. That’s where the tension returned. The damned lift, with its damned hum and the tightness of its space that ruined everything somehow.
“Oh, Hallie. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—You know I’ll be here for you no matter what, right? And I’ll be rooting for you all the way, but if you’re not feeling it I’ll chase him away.”
“I really like him.” I sniffed. “I thought I was ready, you know. I thought I left it all in the past, but the way he said it—the part about consent—it’s like he knows. It’s absurd, I know it is. The internet was wiped from all evidence of what happened, but I froze anyway.”
“The internet never forgets,” Glen whispered.
“The internet never forgets,” I agreed.
“Come here.” Glen didn’t wait for me. Instead, she pulled me in for a hug, and I clung to her as if my life depended on it. “I don’t think Luke cares about any of that. He doesn’t even have an online presence to speak of. It’s more likely he’s reading you like a book. You’re conflicted and it shows.”
“I’m not conflicted,” I denied into Glen’s shoulder. “I’m terrified.”
“Potayto-potahto, same thing,” she murmured into my hair, rubbing my back and getting me to burrow deeper into her embrace.
“It’s not always. It’s when I’m expected to decide on something. When I’m put on the spot, like when he asked if I wanted to cook with him. I do, but then I start doubting myself. Like I couldn’t possibly make good decisions after the few very horrible ones I’ve made.”
Glen clicked her tongue. “Oh, Hallie. Luke is a very good decision.”
“He seems like it, but how can I know for sure?” I mumbled pathetically.
“He is. And you’ll have proof. Tonight.”
I pushed away from Glen to look at her. “I will?”
“Yes, you most certainly will. If you want to, of course. We wouldn’t want to have you doing anything unwillingly. Consent and all that.”
I snorted and slapped her shoulder. “Shut up!”
“Oh, I will, but not until you hear my plan. Which is brilliant, by the way.”
“Ugh, oh? Let’s hear it then.” I stared at her intently, willing it to be as brilliant as she promised, because I needed brilliant just about then.
“Okay, here’s what we’ll do,” Glen said. “We’ll put those groceries in the fridge, then let Drixie out into the hallway. Twenty minutes after that, you’ll knock on Luke’s door, looking all pretty and innocent. Then you’ll be eating that pasta he’s making, and I’ll order something for myself.”
