Page 66 of Lucifer's Mirror
Mine.
But she isn’t mine. And I can’t let her be. My grip tightens.
We keep the pace slow, so as not to jolt her. The country we are riding through is unchanging—vast, flat, and lifeless.
“You said your wolf likes me,” she says at one point. “What does that mean? How do you know?”
“He thinks you smell nice.”
“Ugh. What sort of smells does a wolf like?”
“When I was younger, I was… imprisoned for a while—”
She stiffens in front of me. “Why?”
“It doesn’t matter now.” Which is a lie but not something I want to go into. “It wasn’t too bad for me, but it drove Fury crazy.”
“Fury? That’s what you call your wolf? Sweet.”
“Khendril named him. Anyway, we would dream in that place. Dream of the things that reminded us of freedom: the forests, the mountains, the ocean. You smell of those things.”
“Really? All of them?”
“Yes. He likes it. It calms him. Makes him happy.”
“I’m glad.” She’s silent for a moment, then asks, “Does it make you happy?”
“No.” It makes me afraid, reminds me of a time that nearly broke me—something I can’t risk again.
We don’t speak much after that, and I think she dozes.
I am in torment. Her warm body, soft against mine, her small firm ass pressing against my cock… It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I can do not to thrust my hips against her. But I want her to relax with me. To get the rest she needs. And I doubt she’d find the evidence of my arousal particularly restful.
Fury is doing his version of a rumbling purr. He’s happy. This is the most peace we’ve known in many years. Normally, it’s a constant battle to keep him under control.
As we finally halt for the night, she stirs against me. Up ahead, Thanouq has already dismounted. I give in to the temptation that’s been building inside me all day and ask, “Did you kiss him?”
“None of your business.”
A low growl rumbles in my throat, and my grip tightens. “Did you?”
She shrugs. “Maybe he kissed me, but it was a very short, quick kiss.”
I grit my teeth, my fingers digging into the soft flesh of her belly.
“I can hardly even remember it,” she adds.
I swing off the horse. Then I take her by the hips and help her down. Her feet touch the ground, but I don’t let go. Instead, I back her gently up until she’s pressed against my horse’s side. Then I curl one hand around the back of her neck, while the other slips under her T-shirt to rest against her waist. I wait for her to tell me to back off, but she doesn’t. I tilt her head up and stare down into her vibrant green eyes. She doesn’t move as I lower my head, and I’m drowning in the wildflower scent of her. Inches away from her mouth, I whisper, “Tell me to stop.”
She gives the tiniest shake of her head. It’s enough, and my mouth takes hers in a hard, searing kiss. My body hardens as she leans into me. And I know I have to stop now. Fury whines as I pull away. “Now we’re even,” I growl. “The next one will not be so short.”
She blinks, as though coming back to herself. “In your dreams,” she mutters.
“Probably,” I reply, then turn and walk away, ignoring the stares from my fellow travelers.
We camp that night on the open plain. There’s no shelter and no wood for a fire. So we eat cold food: hard bread, hard cheese, and some small, shriveled apples. I’ve had worse while out on campaigns. After we’ve eaten, Thanouq passes around another bottle of brandy. I watch her as she takes a tiny sip. Her gaze catches mine, and she looks away quickly. She’s sitting opposite me, between Thanouq and Zayne, which makes me twitchy and Fury restless.
I have to be better than this.
