Page 126 of Lucifer's Mirror
“Oh yeah.” So he noticed. But I don’t want to talk about weird stuff right now. I just want to enjoy this time together. “Sleep now. Talk later,” I suggest.
I rest my head against his chest. But I have no intention of sleeping. I don’t want to miss a second of our time together.
I try to analyze what I’m feeling. I think it might be happiness. It’s hard to be sure because I don’t think I’ve ever been truly happy before. But the emotion is tinged with a sense of loss because I know it’s so fleeting.
“I guess you’re right,” Khaosti murmurs against my hair. “There will be time enough to talk tomorrow.”
I slow my breathing, and soon his heartbeat slows in time with mine, and his breathing changes as he falls asleep.
I feel such tenderness for this man who may or may not love me. I press myself against him and listen to his breaths, counting each one.
Then, in the early hours when I sense that dawn is not far away, I slip out of his hold. He rolls onto his side, and I catch my breath, but he doesn’t wake up.
My clothes are scattered, and I have to search for them, all the while expecting him to wake. But he sleeps on. I realize he hasn’t slept for days. He must be exhausted.
I dress quickly, then head away, only to turn back at the edge of the trees and tiptoe back to him for one last look.
I stand over him.
“I love you,” I murmur. Maybe part of me hopes he will wake up. But he sleeps on.
And I turn and walk away.
Chapter 58
On the Road Again
AlthoughIfeelanalmost physical pain, I don’t look back.
Will I ever see him again?
The question runs through my mind, but I push it away. I have other things to think about today—important things—like saving the goddamn world. God, I hate that this is my life. At least now I understand why I pushed Zayne away for so long. People I care about end up dead. Maybe I should make sure I never see Khaosti again. Save him from the same fate.
It’s still dark as I make my way through the forest, but I’ve grown confident in the dark. Maybe it’s where I belong. Maybe I truly am my father’s daughter.
I’ve been avoiding thinking about it too much. While I’ve told myself numerous times that I’m good, and that the past doesn’t matter, being Lucifer’s daughter is a big hurdle to overcome. I’ve studied my fair share of genetics over the past three years, and we have the same DNA. I’m part of him. How can I be part devil and still be all good? But maybe that’s expecting too much of myself. Perhaps no one isallgood. And I’m part of my mother as well. Unfortunately, I don’t remember her at all, any more than I remember Lucifer. Hecate said he wasn’t always bad. I’m sure she knows more, and when we have the time, we’ll sit and talk about my parents.
My hand goes to the necklace at my throat, the one thing she left me. Well, apart from a destiny that’s going to be hard to fulfill. I don’t know what the necklace is, but I know it’s important and will play a part in whatever comes next.
There’s a glimmer of dawn’s light on the horizon by the time I reach the cottage. The rest of the village is in darkness, but a light shines from the kitchen window. As I approach, Hecate appears around from the back of the building, leading Stella. I can see from her expression that she knows where I’ve been, and, more importantly, who I’ve been with. I’m guessing I look a little… unraveled. I can still feel the imprint of Khaosti’s big hard body on mine. My mouth is swollen from his kisses, and my skin heats up at the memory.
Hecate’s gaze travels over me and her lips purse. Finally, her expression settles into one of resignation. “I should have slit his throat the first night he turned up,” she mutters. “I was tempted. He’s his father’s son—trouble.”
“And I’m my father’s daughter,” I reply. “So what does that make me?”
She sniffs. “Go get changed.”
I head into the cottage and hurry to my room. I can’t shake the feeling that time is running out. I need to be away from here before Khaosti wakes, or he’ll try and stop me, or, more likely, insist on coming with me. Only that can’t happen. Not where I’m going.
I change into my leather pants and a tunic, strap on Nightfall, pull on my boots, and then twist my long hair into a rough-and-ready braid to keep it out of the way. I’m back down the stairs in less than five minutes. Hecate is waiting in the hallway, a heavy saddlebag over her arm. She thrusts it into my hands.
“There’s food for a couple of days, in case you need it,” she says.
Hopefully I won’t—at least, not all of it. But I haven’t told her where I’m going. I haven’t told anyone, and that’s for the best. This is something I have to do alone.
She follows me outside and waits as I fasten the bag behind Stella’s saddle. Then I turn to her. She holds out her arms, and I step into them. She’s not my mother, but for four years, she was the closest thing I will ever know to one. I have vague memories of her from those early days. In some ways, she kept me at a distance, but I always knew that she loved me. I wrap my arms around her and lay my head against her breast. Someone else I may never see again.
Finally, I drop my arms to my sides and take a step back.
