“Mhm,” Felix breathed, the clink of his glass against the tabletop confirming to Thea that he, too, was drinking. “Did Ammy settle okay?”
“She’s out cold,” Thea said, scrubbing extra hard at the stainless steel, grunting with effort for extra effect. Maybe if Felix thought she was busy, she could buy herself time. Put off the inevitable.
“Can you even see what you’re doing over there?” Felix asked, a smile on his words. She could just imagine him now, smirking at the merry widow of Tottenbridge, scrubbing at an imaginary stain just to avoid having sex.
“I do my best work in the dark,” she said, completely at a loss for anything sensible to say in her defence.
Felix shifted in his seat. The creak of his chair and his footfalls were the only sounds, but as he approached her from behind, his warmth heated the skin of her back.
“So do I,” he murmured, wrapping an arm around Thea’s waist and pulling her into him.
Thea closed her eyes and dropped her cloth on the drainingboard. Any breath she’d held left her lungs, and her body tensed as his fingers curled around her hip, scattering goosebumps all over her body.
Felix brought his lips to Thea’s neck. “Breathe,” he said against her ear. “Nothing is going to happen that you don’t want. Just say the word, and I’ll sit right back down, finish my drink, and leave.”
Thea sucked in a breath, her heart hammering in her chest. If she turned him down, what would he think of her? She’d let him touch her. Had revelled in his caresses. But now, when the chips were down, she was a quivering mess. She’d known all day how things would end back at the house. Had luxuriated at the thought. At the feelings. But all she felt now was abject terror. Would she be enough for him?
Thea slowly turned around in his arms to face him. “Don’t sit down.” Felix’s eyes burned with hunger, and Thea’s breath wobbled at their ferocity. Slowly, she reached back and found her glass, emptying it in one gulp.
“I’m not sure I should take slamming back your drink as a compliment.”
Thea put down her glass and closed her eyes tight. “It’s just that I haven’t had sex for so long. I mean, I’ve thought about it. Wanted to. But doing it is different. What if I can’t remember how everything works? What if my hips crack or I pull a hamstring?”
A soft snicker left Felix’s lips, and he brought a hand to her chin, gently lifting it. “Please, look at me.” His husky voice rolled over her.
Thea’s whole body fizzed as she opened her eyes to meet his.
“Is it okay if I kiss you?” he whispered, his hand closing around her waist.
Thea nodded, the tiniest movement, but instead of her mouth, Felix brought his lips to her neck. He waited there for abeat before he brushed a sigh against her skin. Thea's breath hitched at the touch of air, and she tipped her head back. Every nerve under her skin burned, and the rush of blood sang in her ears. She’d never wanted a man so much. With a shuddering breath, Thea curled a hand around Felix’s neck and pulled his mouth towards hers.
“Thea,” he growled, his voice low and husky against her lips. At the sound, she almost melted into a puddle at his feet. The tremulous resonance of his voice was all it took to have her thread her other hand around his back and press her body into him. He still didn’t kiss her. Instead, Felix drew back a little, looking at her in the lamplight. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
A smile weaved over Felix’s mouth, and he reached up to pull the pins out of her chignon, slow and steady, every movement deliberate, until her curls fell around her shoulders.
“Beautiful,” he said, running his eyes over her face.
The intensity of his stare, the pulsing of the air between them, had Thea’s breath coming in short, breathy rasps, each one urging him on until finally, gloriously, Felix brought his lips to hers.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he growled against her before running his tongue along her bottom lip and tentatively pushing into her mouth.
It took Thea precisely three seconds to realise she was in big trouble. The minute she parted her lips for him, a heavy throbbing built at her core, and her whole body ached for him. Ached for Felix to touch her, to run his hands over every inch of her, to devour her.
She’d never had such a powerful response to a man. Had the same need, the same longing for another human being to consume her, to own her. Not even with Phil. As her husband’s name entered her head, his smiling face appeared in her mind’seye, and Thea froze, her nails clamping onto Felix’s shoulders, digging into the skin through his shirt.
“Stop!” she said, pulling away from him and bringing the back of her hand to her lips.
Felix looked at her, wide-eyed, running his hands down the bare skin of her arms.
“You okay? What is it?”
Thea bit at her lip, avoiding his eyes. “I’m not ready to have sex. It’s not that I don’t want to, I do, but I just can’t stop thinking about…” Thea tugged in a shaky breath. “I haven’t slept with anyone since….”
“Shh,” Felix whispered. “I get it. It’s okay.”
“I just don’t think I can relax.”
