Persephone looked at her as if she’d asked for the nuclear codes. “Nonsense! Felix has staff to wash up. Besides, I’m sure the Dahli Lama once said that great men don’t wear rubber gloves. I’ll fetch him. Just stall the proceedings until I get back.”With a flourish of red satin, Persephone scurried off towards the kitchen.
Thea swallowed, a line of perspiration forming at her top lip. There’d be no escaping Felix’s wrath now. Letting go of a breath, she plastered the professional smile back on her lips. She’d stall by showing off more prizes.
“Also on offer is a full set of earthenware pieces from none other than our renowned local potter, Gloria Cunningham.” A few snickers reached Thea’s ears. Daniel’s hippy mother, Gloria Cunningham, was an award-winning potter known for producing suggestive designs.
Just as she was about to describe the collection, Felix and Persephone arrived at the edge of the dance floor. He wore his standard scowl. Thea swallowed. Felix would likely explode when she announced the grand prize. But at a loss for how to stop time, she described every piece of gaudy pottery on the table. After providing a fabricated and lengthy explanation of clay types and crackle glaze techniques, she held up a large candlestick to show the crowd.
The second she lifted it from the table, her gut plummeted, and the perspiration at her lip was joined by more at the small of her back. It was evident to all that Gloria had shaped her ornament like a penis. A giant monstrosity of a penis. A huge cock-shaped candlestick. One which she held aloft like she was making an offering to the fertility gods or was starring in the adults-only version ofThe Lion King. Giggles and whispers came from the crowd.
“Er. This piece speaks for itself,” Thea said, voice wavering and heat coursing through her cheeks. “It’s a fine example of… er… of … a…” She daredn’t say phallus, but dammit, it was the only word springing to mind.
“A candlestick,” said a gruff voice. Felix. He still stood at the edge of the dance floor with Persephone. But he wasn’t looking at her. Instead, he glared at two dads who giggled and nudgedeach other,theireyes firmly fixed on Thea and Gloria Cunningham’s abomination. From the curl of his lip, he was barely containing his temper.
Thea widened her eyes. Felix had rescued her from embarrassment, and now he’d gone full alpha male. The lift in his shoulders and the fierce line of his jaw would deter even the most brazen heckler. Despite the heat in her cheeks, she could cope with a couple of thoughtless drunks. She didn’t need Felix to look after her, but something about the firm set of his chin and the scowl on his brow lit a simmer of desire low in her tummy.
When the men had quieted under Felix’s stare, he turned back to Thea. At his unsmiling face, her breath ran shallow, and fearing she may drop the candlestick courtesy of her clammy palms, Thea set it back down on the table. If he was unhappy with her now, in precisely two minutes, he’d murder her.
Heart beating out of her chest, Thea explained that once the auction was open, guests would make their offers by posting them anonymously into the big silver box on the table. Persephone Murray and her committee would open the bids in the next few days and notify the winners.
Small pockets of chatter erupted in the crowd when she finished her explanation. The guests were no doubt itching to get back to dancing. Even she’d prefer another spin around the floor with Felix than suffer his wrath.
Thea looked up at him through lowered lashes and gripped her lip with her teeth. She’d found their time on the dance floorinteresting. As he spun her around, there’d been something in his eyes, and if she wasn’t mistaken, his trousers, too. Thea’s chest fizzed at the memory. The hardness she’d met as they’d danced close. Had she imagined it?
Sure, she’d thought about him recently. Far too often and in unwholesome ways, but knowing that just dancing together excited him likethatfilled her chest with jittery energy. Andnow she was about to humiliate him in front of two hundred people. Invade his privacy.
Through all their interactions, she’d gleaned that Felix was an introvert. Private. If that was true, what she had planned would be his worst nightmare. And she couldn’t walk it back. She couldn’t withdraw the auction’s ultimate prize. A few folks who’d left early had already made bids, and Felix couldn’t say no. Not with everyone watching.
She had to remember he was her nemesis. Even if he’d rescued her from describing Gloria Cunningham’s erotic earthenware to a room full of people. Still, she had a golfball-sized lump in her throat as she took a breath and lifted the microphone to her mouth.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I have one final prize to announce before you begin your bidding. It’s a late and very generous offer from one of the more colourful members of our community. In fact, I could describe him as a bit of a celebrity.”
Thea shot a look at Felix. He’d clamped his jaw tight, and a muscle ticked in his cheek. He'd know he was the only “celebrity” present. Excited murmurs from several ladies swirled around the gym, and Thea gritted her teeth.
“One lucky bidder will win themselves a golden opportunity to spend time in the presence of greatness. A chance to pick the brain of a captain of industry, or if you're more inclined, an opportunity to glean some gossip on all your favourite contestants fromBeelzebub’s Pantry.”
The murmurs escalated to excited chatter as Felix glanced around the crowd. Thea took a breath. “That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. The Clavenham Parents Association is delighted to offer for your bidding pleasure a night with Felix Walsh.”
All heads turned toward him, and applause rang out. But amongst the movement, Felix stood still as a statue, rooted to the spot.
Thea avoided looking at him for as long as possible. Butfinally, when she built up the courage, she faced him and blow-torch-hot fury burned within his eyes. Wishing the earth would open up and swallow her whole, she gave him an awkward smile and a shrug.
She’d had the idea to offer Felix as a prize after their bakery visit. His persistent phone interruptions and criticism of her puddle-driving made her cross. As a result, she’d wanted nothing more than to get him back. But why—oh, why—hadn’t she grown out of her kindergarten approach to interpersonal skills?
Even though they’d only just met, she was certain he’d view a night saddled with a simpering super-fan akin to extracting his teeth without anaesthetic. The evening would be a torturous experience for Felix. Why, then, did she not feel a glow of triumph?
As the crowd buzzed around him, Felix shook his head slowly. A deep scowl scored his brow, and he still pinned his gaze on Thea. Desperately hoping he’d see the funny side soon, she handed the microphone back to DJ Malcolm and headed over to try and rescue the situation.
He greeted her with a grim expression. “You’ve sold me off like cattle?”
His harsh tone could strip paint, and Thea’s chest ached at the down-turned corners of his mouth. Thoroughly in the wrong, humour was her last resort.
“You’re not like cattle, Felix. You don’t have horns, and your eyelashes aren’t long enough. Have you ever noticed how cows have those long, dark…”
“Thea,” Felix barked.
She wrung her hands together. “I’m sorry. I know I should’ve asked, but you’d have said no, and I saw an opportunity to make money for the school. As a businessman, surely you can’t blame me? See how excited everyone is?” Thea swept a hand around the hall.
“You could have volunteered yourself.” The snap of his voice stung her ears. “I’m sure there would’ve been one or two takers.”
