He gave a smile-less snicker and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “If vomiting is the price to pay for the most fun he’s had in months, I say let him vomit.”
Well, that was a very unsatisfactory answer! Not a hint about his wife. She’d searched for information about his personal life online. Aside from finding an old picture of him with a beautiful woman, she didn’t have time. Kitty had disturbed her, and she didn’t want to be busted for cyber-stalking a potential family enemy.
“Yes, but are you sure his mum won’t mind?”
Felix flicked an eyebrow in her direction, and Thea flinched. Too obvious.
“Lucas doesn’t see his mum very often. We’re divorced.”
Thea’s chest filled with a glow of satisfaction. She’d been right. Nobody could put up with him.
Hold up. Why was she pleased to hear that Lucas’s parents were divorced? What the hell was wrong with her? Growing up without both parents was awful for a kid. There wasn’t a day where she didn’t wish she could give Ammy a proper father figure. Josh was a fantastic uncle, but he had his own life to live, and soon, he’d have a newborn. Still, with an enormous business to run, Felix must find being a single dad hard.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too. Since we’ve been apart, things have been tricky for Lucas. That’s why we moved here. To the country for a change of scenery. A chance at a new start.” He looked over to meet Thea’s gaze. “It’s been tough, though. Is Ammy’s dad on the scene?”
Thea swallowed, picking at a loose splinter of wood on the fence. Of course. He didn’t know she was a widow. She wasn’t sure how to answer the question without getting the usual sympathetic response and curious questions. Shehadpried into his business, so she owed him an answer, but Thea wasn’t sure she could handle any pity from Felix Walsh. Not today. Not ever.
“No. She doesn’t see him anymore.” Thea avoided Felix’s eyes.
He opened his mouth, ready to ask more questions, but she sent a silent thank you to St. Nicholas, the patron saint of children, when the kids came tearing around the corner. They opened the gate and let themselves into the fenced pond area. A herd of squabbling geese swamped them immediately, desperate for a few handfuls of pellets.
“Are you sure this is safe?” Felix asked, shifting his weight against the wood, his brow furrowed.
Thea tipped her head to one side. “Oh, sure. We give all residents of Tottenbridge a free course in waterfowl safety because of the village ducks. We only have one here, though. We rescued it last month, with its head inside a gin bottle. It hasn’t flown since.” Felix stared at Thea, a peculiar look on his face.
“Come on,” she said. “I’ll show you.” She moved off towards the pond with Felix trailing in her wake.
He cleared his throat behind her. “I’m sorry for rambling on back there. You don’t want to hear my life story.”
Funnily enough, shewaspretty interested in his life story. If only to get some intel on what made him tick. Gain some insight into what would annoy him. Some ammunition. She unlatched the gate to the pond and held it open for him.
“No problem. We all have our moments. Here, take a handful of these.” Thea reached out for the bucket of pellets that Ammy had sensibly put up high on top of an old tree stump. She gathered a large handful and passed them to Felix. “You know, lots of studies have hinted that spending time with animals is therapeutic.”
His steady eyes met hers as he took the food, the green of his irises a little softer than she remembered. But no sooner had Felix palmed the little brown balls than the flock of geese and one duck descended on him. They grappled with each other in a cacophony of squawks. Thea flinched. She was used to the noise, but to Felix, it probably sounded like a thousand clowns were honking their horns in his ears.
As if the birds sensed he was the weakest link in the party, they coordinated their onslaught. Snapping beaks jostled at the end of long necks—necks the same height as Felix’s groin. He reached his hands down to guard his package.
Thea saw it coming before it happened. And she honestlydidtry to call out and warn him. Nevertheless, her jaw dropped when at least eight ravenous geese descended on Felix’s crotch.
Under the assault, he squealed like a piglet, but instead of throwing the pellets into the pond, he kept them in his fists and continued to shield his manhood. The persistent pecking at his fingers resulted in some direct hits. It wasn’t long before he let out one blood-curdling scream, followed by another. And then another.
Holy hell! A testicular massacre! Right in front of the children!
She should do something. Draw the geese away. But Thea couldn’t move. Even after all her years handling animals, the sight of Felix under attack froze her in place with a mixture of horror and just a little morbid fascination.
No. She couldn’t just stand by and watch a flock of pushy birds devour his manhood. With her feet scraping against the dirt, Thea ran forward into the melee and clawed at Felix’s hands.
The pellets fell to the ground, and the geese abandoned his groin. He doubled over, groaning in pain, stumbling out of the tangle of bodies and necks. When he finally cleared the crime scene, he leaned against the tree stump, his breath coming in heaving gasps.
Nobody made a sound. Only Felix. He moaned, his face screwed up in agony. Thea often wondered what it felt like to be kicked in the balls. It was probably the wrong time to ask.
“I’m so sorry. The geese are usually calmer. Would you like an ice pack? A hug?” Her voice was high and thin. Despite her horror at the situation, the corners of her mouth quivered.
“No, I would not,” Felix barked. “You should lock those birds up. They’re not safe.”
Thea sighed. “I think it’s the duck. It’s corrupted them. They were all lovely before he arrived. Do you have any cuts? Anything you need bandaging?” She waved her hands, circlingthem around his groin area. Perhaps she should have taken that Reiki course Josh bought for her birthday last year.
