He tugged me away from the edge of the road just as a car splashed through a puddle, which would have drenched me. I shook his hand off. "What is wrong with you?" I shouted over the downpour.
"What's wrong withme?" he demanded. I'd never seen him so discomposed. His chest rose and fell fast after he'd clearly run to catch up with me, and he didn't even seem to realize his white shirt had gone completely transparent, sticking to thedefined ridges of his chest and abs. "You deliberately disobeyed my request just to spite me, Gemma."
"Disobeyed?" I scoffed. I abandoned all attempts at keeping myself dry and let my coat drop to my side. "You don't get to tell me what to do. What, exactly, gives you that right?"
"Do you seriously think you can go through life without any help?" he asked, deflecting my question entirely. He swiped down his face in frustration. "I'm doing everything I can to help you—to help us—and you continually defy my efforts. Why?"
Well, ouch. What was I supposed to say to that?My dad abandoned us for another woman I've never even met and my mom is so lost in delulu land that I basically ended up helping myself through childhood anyway. Of course, I can do it on my own!"I didn't ask for your help," I seethed. "And you don't even want to give it. You don't want to help me. You want to get rid of me."
"That isn't true," Knox snapped. "I am trying to help you, Gem. Iwantto help you."
"Bullshit!" I yelled. Another car whizzed past us, spraying my boots with water and filling the air with a whooshing roar. Over the din, I shouted, "You haven't wanted anything to do with me since day one. And I get it, I do," I ranted. "I took over your house, I brought a whole ass farm animal into your apartment, and I'm generally a nuisance. I know that. And I'm sorry, but stoppretendingthat you give a damn about me under the pretense of getting rid of me."
"Stop assuming I hate you," Knox fired back. He reached for me, but then drew up short, his hands halting in mid-air like he'd hit a force field.
"That," I spit, pointing to his hands. "That is why I know you don't like me."
"Gemma, that's not—"
"Stop." My voice cracked when I said it, and to my horror, my eyes filled with tears. I'd always cried during arguments, but now, of all times? My throat clogged with emotion, and I turned away from him, desperate to escape whatever this humiliating conversation was. I hurried to the crosswalk, hoping against all odds that I could find a way to just disappear from Knox's life and forget any of this happened.
There had been glimpses with Knox in the last month—little moments where I thought he did care. He'd been gentle and generous so many times that it was easy to assume he might care for me. But then he was hard, he was surly, and he refused to so much as graze my shoulder with his arm when we were together in the kitchen. He worked long hours in what felt like an attempt to avoid me. Nothing he did made any sense to me, and now he was actually preventing me from moving on with another man. Not that Spencer was an actual candidate for that—I knew that now—but Knox hadn't known that. He was so desperate to get away from me that he cared more about this weird engagement plan than my actual happiness.
So, screw him,I thought, marching across the crosswalk in the blinding rain.Screw him and screw this entire situation.
"Gemma, stop!" Rook yelled.
Yellow light bathed me in a bright wash, searing through my vision and causing me to scrunch my eyes and turn away. But then my brain registered what they were. Headlights—right in front of me. The deafening rush of tires on flooded asphalt filled my ears, and just as the image of a car hood smashed through my fear-frozen brain, my feet left the ground.
An arm wrapped around my waist and pulled so hard, I swung through the air. I was whirled around fast, wrenched out of the road and toward the safety of the sidewalk just as a braking car screeched past me. Someone firm and warm held me against his body, and a wave of rainwater splashed over us as the caraccelerated past us and around the corner. Breathing hard, I tried to will my brain to catch up with reality.
It was Rook. He'd pulled me out of the road just in time, just before I'd been flattened into roadkill. My heart raced, slamming against my ribcage and filling my ears with the sound of my own frightened pulse. Rook wrapped his other arm around me from behind, hugging me so tightly, I thought that maybe I might manage tonotbreak into a hundred pieces from the fear that pumped through my veins.
But he was touching me. No, he was hugging me. His solid, warm arms held me tightly to his chest, and it felt like coming home after a long vacation. I sagged against him, letting loose a jagged breath heavy with tears and relief. His chest pressed and retreated against my back as he breathed fast, and he bent his face to the crook of my neck. His warm breath gusted against my skin, just under my jaw, and with an uneven voice, he breathed, "You want me to touch you, Gem? I will." He skimmed his nose against the curve of my neck. "I'll touch you. But once I do, I'm not stopping."
Chapter eighteen
Knox
Rule #24: Don't leave your clothes on the ground.
Holding Gemma was euphoric. I'd imagined it so many times, I'd convinced myself that I would recognize the feeling, but I'd been dead wrong. It was so much better than my imagination. Her curves were soft and yielding under my arms, and the way her ribs expanded and contracted beneath my hands breathed true relief into my chest. She had almost died. She'd almost been taken out of this life, away from me, cold and unable to ever be touched again. And it had almost happened because of my stupidity.
She released a tortured breath, and I heard the tears choking the oxygen from her body. I adjusted my grip, cradling her against me and pressing my face against the side of hers. "I'msorry," I whispered. "That was my fault. I should have explained before."
"Explained what?" she sobbed.
Her pain sliced right through me with a jagged edge. "Don't cry," I murmured low, kissing her cheek and tasting salty tears. "It's alright. You're safe, and I do want you, Gem. I want you so much, it hurts. I just… I couldn't."
Gemma fought my hold, turning in my arms to face me. I kept my arms around her, pressing her body against mine like I couldn't help it anymore. I'd meant what I said. I wasn't going to let her go now that I had her. She peered up at me, her lashes dark from the rain and her blue eyes misted with tears. "You can't what?"
"Couldn't," I corrected, reaching up to trace the curve of her chin. Her skin was so soft, so suede smooth, I could hardly believe it. "Icannow, and I intend to."
"Canwhat?" she whispered impatiently.
I slid my hand across her lower jaw and neck, smoothing a path to where her soaked hair dripped a cascade of rainwater down her back. I drew her face up to mine, bending down so our lips were a sliver from touching. "Touch every inch of you."
One short gust escaped her full lips, and then she pressed them to mine.God above, she was sweet. Her lips were slick with rainwater, and against my heated, adrenaline-fueled skin, they molded to mine with icy compliance. Her lips fit perfectly against mine, her lower lip pouty and marshmallow-soft, and her upper lip gentle as a silk caress. I tightened my left arm around her waist and cupped the back of her head, fusing her cold body against mine and deepening the kiss with a primal hunger.
