"And what if what happens in that courtroom is that we lose?" The question comes out smaller than I intend. "What if Derek gets custody and takes Tommy back to Connecticut? What if I never see him again?"
The possibility I've been trying not to think about hangs between us like a curse. Tommy, growing up in Derek's world of manipulation. Tommy, believing that his father is a man who only wanted him for money. Tommy, forgetting Emma entirely.
"That's not going to happen." Sawyer sits up, pulls me with him until we're both leaning against the headboard. "Lisa, look at me."
I do, and the absolute certainty in his blue eyes should be comforting. Should make me feel safe and protected and sure that everything will work out.
Instead, it makes the anxiety worse.
"You don't know that," I say. "You can't promise that everything will be fine just because you want it to be. Life doesn't work that way."
"My life does." The words come out flat, final. "My family is protected. Always. Whatever it takes."
"But what if..."
"No." He cuts me off, his voice sharp enough to make me flinch. "No what ifs, no worst case scenarios. We're not doing this, Lisa."
"Doing what?"
"Borrowing trouble. Creating problems that don't exist." He runs a hand through his hair, and I can see the frustration building. "We have a plan. We have a good lawyer. We have a marriage certificate and a home and a family that any judge would be crazy to break up."
"Derek has money. Derek has connections. Derek has..."
"Nothing Lisa! Derek has nothing." Sawyer's voice goes deadly quiet. "Derek Morrison is a man who abandoned a pregnant woman and only came back when there was profit involved. Any judge with half a brain is going to see exactly what kind of father he'd be."
I want to believe him. God, I want to believe him so badly it hurts. But Emma believed Derek would change too. Emma thought love could fix a man who saw women as possessions instead of people.
Emma was wrong.
"My sister thought she could handle Derek too," I say quietly. "She thought she was strong enough, smart enough, determined enough to make their marriage work. And look how that ended."
The words hang in the air between us, loaded with all the fear and doubt I've been carrying since Emma died. Since I realized that sometimes love isn't enough to protect the people you care about.
Sawyer is quiet for a long moment, studying my face like he's trying to solve a puzzle.
"You think I'm going to leave," he says finally. "You think I'm going to decide this is too hard, too complicated, too much trouble, and walk away like Derek did."
"I think you're a good man who agreed to help a friend and got more than you bargained for." The admission tears out of me like a confession. "I think what happened between us last night was just... physical. Because you felt sorry for me, because you wanted to make things easier."
"Jesus Christ, Lisa."
"I think that when the custody case is over, when Tommy is safe, you're going to realize that you don't actually want to be married to a woman with a baby and a mountain of baggage and..."
I don't get to finish the sentence because Sawyer's mouth crashes down on mine, hard and possessive and completely overwhelming. He kisses me like he's trying to prove a point, like he's trying to drive every doubt from my head through sheer force of will.
When he finally pulls back, we're both breathing hard.
"Are you done?" His voice is rough, edged with something that might be anger or hurt or both.
"Sawyer, I..."
"Are you done questioning what we have? Are you done assuming I'm going to abandon you the first time things get difficult?" His hands frame my face, forcing me to look at him. "Because I've got news for you, Lisa McKenna. I've wanted you since we were kids. I've watched you date other men, move away for college, build a life that didn't include me, and I never stopped wanting you."
The intensity in his voice, the raw honesty, makes my chest tight.
"I married you because I want you," he continues. "I made you mine last night because I want you. I'm going to fight Derek Morrison and anyone else who tries to hurt our family because you're mine now." His thumbs brush across my cheekbones, gentle despite the steel in his voice. "So no, I'm not going anywhere. Ever."
"But what if the judge..."
