Ginny stood with Ollie following suit. “If you don’t mind, I think I’d like to go up to my quarters now. It’s been a long few days.”
Ryker stood as they left the kitchen area then sat next to Amalia again.
“Wow.” She blew out a breath. “That’s a lot to absorb. I knew she might decide that way. I knew she wanted to make the announcement at the joint session, but to hear Ginny actually say, out loud, that she’s going to resign her position in the line of succession...” She sucked in another breath and blew it out. “It’s a lot of responsibility.”
He leaned over and kissed her temple. “You will be ready when the time comes. Now you know what you’re working toward rather than being in limbo.”
She nodded and leaned her head against his shoulder. “It’s still overwhelming.”
“That’s probably good. It means you understand the gravity of the job you’ll be asked to do one of these days.” He stood and went toward the refrigerator. “I think this calls for a celebration, though. Gelato?”
To his surprise, she shook her head. “I understand why you want to, but I don’t think I want to celebrate. It means I’ll have an awesome responsibility but only after my grandfather has passed or is quite ill - and only because of my mum’s relationship with Ginny’s biological father. You probably know more about him than I do.”
Ryker nodded, but didn’t say anything as she stood, and headed back to their shared room.
She walked straight to the balcony and rested her weight against the balustrade. In the distance, another whale breeched, followed by several more.
He watched for her reaction. “It doesn’t bother you from a distance?”
Amalia shook her head but didn’t say anything.
Standing behind her, he wrapped his arms around her. She straightened and covered his arms with hers.
“I don’t know what I feel,” she finally told him. “Growing up, I thought this was what I wanted, that it was my birthright, even though Ginny is older. I knew she’d likely come home, but I still thought I should be queen.”
They stood, silent, while she continued to contemplate. “I told you I never thought I measured up to the ideal of Ginny, and that’s true, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot for the last few years and even more the last year. I absolutely felt that way - and still do sometimes, like the other day. I’m no longer sure Mum ever considered me second best. I know she missed Ginny deeply, but the older I get, the more perspective I get, the more I think I wasn’t fair to her.”
She leaned her head against his chest. “Does that make any sense at all?”
“I think so.” How could he word this so she knew he wasn’t attempting to discount her? “Feelings are valid, even if you later come to realize they were based on incorrect information. When you realize the truth isn’t quite what you thought, reevaluating may be necessary. It doesn’t change what you felt all of those years, but it could change how you feel and react in the future. Sometimes, you could still react as though your original information is true, and that’s all right.”
“That’s what happened in the nursery. Now that I’ve realized the reality, I need to be cognizant of that and do my best to act on what I know now.” She sighed. “I probably need to talk to my mum and apologize for some of my behavior. I have a feeling she’ll be mortified that I ever thought I was less than.”
Amalia shifted until she could turn and rest her hands on his chest. “Thank you, Ryker. I’m not entirely certain I understand myself, but you do.” One hand moved to the side of his face. “I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”
She lowered her arms and slid them around his waist, her cheek against his chest.
“But the real question we need to ask now is if you are really sure you can live with being the husband of a queen.”
* * *
Even as Amalia stared,Ryker squeezed her hand. “You don’t have to do this.”
Amalia nodded. “Yes.” She sucked in a breath. “Yes, I do. If I’m going to be queen one day, I have to be able to spend time on the water. We won’t go far. And if I need to come back, we will.”
“If you’re absolutely sure.” He still sounded wary, and she didn’t blame him.
After her reaction on the yacht to Biansola, he had every reason to question her.
“I am. I have to do this.”
This time, the ship was fully staffed and her full protection staff, plus Ryker, were with her. The year before it had been only Ginny and the captain - easily the second biggest mistake of her life, after hiding from her protection team in Ravenzario.
Maybe the first.
They could be tied for the worst decisions she’d ever made.
Depending on how this turned out, it could be third on the list.
